


Twilight of the Dark Kingdom - Part 1

by sublimeperfectionland



Series: Twilight of the Dark Kingdom [1]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Twilight Fusion, Canon Gay Relationship, Falling In Love, Humor, M/M, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 63,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublimeperfectionland/pseuds/sublimeperfectionland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a fit of randomness, I wonder how Twilight would read if it were shonen-ai instead of paranormal romance…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The new kid in town

[Scene: A freshman homeroom at a high school, in the rainy town of Hen Tie, WA. Usagi, a pretty girl with two long pigtails under spherical blond buns runs in with a slice of toast in her mouth. She plops into her seat in the last row, between her best friends Umino and Naru, and directly behind her current hate-crush, Mamoru.]

Usagi: Yesss! I’m on time for once!

Mamoru: [Turns in his seat to grin balefully at her] Guess again, bunhead. You’re still late. Ms. Haruna just hasn’t arrived yet.

Usagi: Oh be quiet, you creeper. [Munches on her toast] I didn’t get caught, and that’s all that matters.

[They stare each other down while a strong sexual undercurrent simmers just below the surface. But since they aren’t really the lead characters in this story, it doesn’t really matter.]

[As Usagi finishes her toast, Ms. Haruna enters with a waifish urchin with flowing golden hair, in an army jacket, light green t-shirt, and faded jeans over hiking boots.]

Ms. Haruna: Everyone. We have a new transfer student all the way from sunny Phoenix, Arizona. Everyone, please welcome Zoisite Midori.

Umino: [Whistles quietly under his steamed up glasses] Well hello, Goldilocks! 

[Zoi avoids eye contact with the entire class, and instead, absently twirls a lock of hair around his finger. But since Zoi is the Bella Swan character in this tale, the entire room is hopelessly besotted.*]

[* Well, everyone but Mamoru, who as a rule, is never that easily charmed.]

Usagi: Oh, my, what a cuuuutie.

Naru: [Nods] Not much of a dresser, but she sure is pretty.

Umino: I’ll say. [Gazes with his cheek resting on his hand and sighs profoundly] Somewhere deep within the bowels of the Uffizi Museum in Florence, Italy, a Botticelli painting is missing its angel…

Mamoru: [Lets out a haughty sniff of utter boredom] Oh, whatever. She’s not all that. Nice hair, ok face, but absolutely no body to speak of. [Snickers dismissively before turning around.] Hey look, bunhead. You’ve finally found someone even flatter than you are.

Haruka: [Seated to Mamoru’s left] Seriously, Chiba? Could you be any more of a bottom-feeder?

Ms. Haruna: Did you just say something, Haruka?

Haruka: Ummm, no?

Ms. Haruna: Good. Zoisite, why don’t you tell the class a little something about yourself?

Zoi: [Stares at the room with his big green eyes like a deer in the headlights for a few seconds before speaking in his distinctly male voice] Um…It’s just Zoi. Not Zoisite… And…um…I’m actually a very boring person. As you can see I’m awkward and plain… and a bit of a dork… I’m probably the clumsiest person on earth…so needless to say, I’m terrible at sports. If you’re team captain, pick me last. Please. For your own safety…. Oh, and I hate this town so much, I wish I were dead. Sorry. No offense. Can I please sit down now?

[His social anxiety is palpable, but since this is a shonen-ai Twilight, just everyone sighs happily.] 

Usagi: Oh, wow. She’s a he!

Umino: I think I just turned gay!

Haruka: I think I just turned straight!

Mamoru: [The color drains from Mamoru’s face] Wait a minute? Zoisite is a guy?

Haruka: [Gives Mamoru a wolfish grin] Guy? Girl? Does it really make a difference?

Mamoru: Um, hell yeah it does. As a girl, he’s just ok. But for a guy, he’s crossed the bridge right back into doable. [Sits up straight, slicks his hair back, and puts on his most fetching smile.]

Ms. Haruna: [Chuckles] Class, Zoisite here is far too modest–

Zoi: It’s just Zoi.

Ms. Haruna: He’s transferred here from a magnet school specializing in math and science, so Zoisite will be taking those classes at the senior level.

Zoi: Please, call me Zoi.

Ms. Haruna: [Claps him on the shoulder] Whatever you say, Zoisite. Since you’re new here, I’ll assign you a buddy to show you around for the first few days. Do I have a volunteer?

[Every hand in the room shoots up. Zoi just assumes everyone feels sorry for him, so he blushes and burrows his face into his ponytail]

Ms. Haruna: [Waves her hand around before pointing at Umino.] Umino. Why don’t you come up here and move into the front row next to Zoisite?

Umino: [Fistpump] Yes!

Mamoru: Ohhhh… [Lowers his hand]

Usagi: Ha, ha. [Throws a wadded up exam at his head] You lose at life again, Mamoru!


	2. The O’Sama family

[Scene: Umino is showing Zoi around campus shortly before lunch. It’s drizzling and only 65 degrees out but Zoi is huddled in his jacket and his teeth chatter slightly]

Umino: So this is a lot different from Phoenix, huh?

Zoi: Very.

Umino: It doesn’t rain there much does it?

Zoi: About three or four times a year.

Umino: Wow, what’s that like?

Zoi: Sunny.

Umino: You don’t look very tan.

Zoi: My mother is part albino.

Umino: Actually, that’s not possible since albinism is a condition while only occurs when one of several genetic defects makes the body unable to produce or distribute melanin - oh that was a joke wasn’t it?

Zoi: Yes, just not a very good one it seems. [sighs and looks up at the lead gray sky]

Umino: I take it you miss life in Phoenix?

Zoi: I miss it a lot.

Umino: Then why are you living here in Hen Tie, the cloudiest city in the northern hemisphere?

Zoi: Because I’m fifteen. I don’t get a whole lot of say in these matters.

Umino: Oh…well, it’s always nice to have another resident genius to talk to.

Zoi: I’m not a genius. I’m not smart at all. I’ve just taken a lot of science classes.

Umino: If you insist… but in case you’re curious, the smartest kids here are me and Ami. She’s a little smarter than me, but she’s a bit of a snob. I have more friends and I still get all A+’s. [Steals a glance at Zoi to see if he’s impressed] In fact I could skip a few grades if I wanted, but most of the senior kids here are bullies and I don’t want to get beat up.

Zoi: Oh, no. [Stares at Umino with big frightened eyes] I have senior biology right after lunch. If they bully you, I’ll get beat up for sure.

Umino: Huh? [Looks Zoi up and down] Why would anyone want to beat you up?

Zoi: Because I’m a homosexual.

Umino: [Taken aback] You’re… gay?

Zoi: Yes, I’m gay. Is that a problem for you?

Umino: No… it’s just I’ve never met anyone so open about it.

Zoi: Yeah, well I’m not very subtle so I find it’s better to let people know right off the bat. I was hoping you wouldn’t have a problem with it. I’m not good at making friends.

Umino: You…want to be my friend?

Zoi: Sure. Why wouldn’t I?

Umino: [Smiles because Zoi wants to be friends] Say, you want to come over to my place to study? I’ve got the new Sailor V game. We can play that afterwards.

Zoi: Sounds like fun. I can’t do it tonight, though. I have to make dinner for my dad.

Umino: You have to make dinner for your dad?

Zoi: While, I don’t have to. I want to. My dad is a terrible cook, and I do like a homecooked meal without the risk of setting the house on fire.

Umino: So, I take it your parents are divorced?

Zoi: Yeah. I used to live with my mom, but she’s just remarried so I have to live here.

Umino: Why? Your new stepdad doesn’t like you?

Zoi: My stepdad likes me a lot. But for some reason my mom’s not happy about that, so she banished me here.

[They enter the cafeteria. Umino buys a cappuccino from a machine]

Umino: Can I buy you something to drink?

Zoi: Ice tea, if they have it.

[Umino buys a can of ice tea from the machine and they sit at an empty table and open their lunchbags.]

Zoi: I hope my dad packed something good. I’m starving. [ Umino pulls out a peanut butter and bologna sandwich while Zoi pulls out some rolls made out of rice flour.] Please be roasted pork and not sweet bean paste. Please be roasted pork and not sweet bean paste. [Tears one open and shoves it away to sulk] Not again. I keep telling Dad I hate sweet bean paste, but he buys these anyway.

Umino: Hmm… tough break. Want half of my sandwich?

Zoi: No thanks.

[A table for four seniors are giving them haughty stares from across the room. All of them are well-built and angelically beautiful: a boy with short blond hair, a boy with flowing reddish-brown hair, a buxom redheaded girl, and a boy with white hair and dark skin with mesmerizing light blue eyes.]

Zoi: Who are they? [His heart skipping a beat at the sight of the one with the white hair]

Umino: That’s the O’Sama family. Jeddy, Neffy, Beryl, and Kunzite.

Zoi: Osama, like in Bin Ladin? [Locks glances with the white haired boy, who is openly staring at him with his narrowed blue eyes]

Umino: No, they’re Irish.

Zoi: They don’t look Irish. In fact they don’t even look related [under his breath] other than being tall and incredibly good looking.

Umino: They were all adopted. By the town’s chief surgeon, Dr. Metalia O’Sama. She’s regarded as the greatest doctor in Hen Tie, even though most of her patients die in horrible agony.

Zoi: Hmmm… [Sips on his ice tea and breaking off eyecontact with Kunzite] Why is he staring at me like that?

Umino: Because you’re hot?

Zoi: [Sips on his ice tea] No, seriously. Why is he staring at me like that?

Umino: [Baffled] Because you’re hot?

Zoi: I don’t think so. Just look at him. [Kunzite is still glowering at Zoi, with his nostrils pinched shut and his head tilted back] He acts like he can smell me from all the way over there.

[Usagi plops down next to Zoi, she’s clutching a Hello Kitty lunch box]

Usagi: That’s Kunzite. He’s gorgeous of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently, none of the girls in this school are good-looking enough for him.

Naru: [Sit next to Usagi and sips her weight loss shake] Just keep away from the one with brown hair. That’s Neffy. He’s mine. [Umino makes a sour face]

Zoi: You’re dating?

Naru: No. He doesn’t even know I’m alive. But I called dibs.

Usagi: [Eying Zoi’s lunch] Is that sweet bean paste?

Zoi: You like it?

Usagi: Like it? I love it! Want to trade? All I have is a couple slices of left over pizza and a big ole chocolate chip cookie.

Zoi: [Smiles] Yes, please.

Usagi: [Wastes no time in grabbing Zoi’s rolls and eating them with both hands] Umm… these buns are the best [Sees Zoi staring at her expectantly and opens her lunch box and peeks inside] Oh, no, I forgot. I ate the pizza and the cookie at my locker since I’d only had a slice of toast for breakfast.

Umino: Oh, great. Now Zoi doesn’t have anything to eat.

Usagi: I still have a banana. Want that?

Zoi: Sure.

[Usagi pulls a green banana from her lunchbox]

Zoi: That’s not ripe.

Usagi: [defensive as she holds it out to him] It’s still good.

Zoi: [Tries to bend it then bangs it on the table] It’s as hard as a rock. [Lifts it to his nose and sniffs it and makes a face.] And it smells like pepperoni.

Usagi: Oh, don’t be such a chicken. How do you know you won’t like it if you haven’t even tried it yet?

[Zoisite peels the banana and gives it another sniff. There is a loud gasp across the room. Kunzite has clamped his hand over his nose and mouth.]

Zoi: He looks like he’s going to be sick.

Usagi: Just ignore him.

Zoi: [Nibbles just the tip then spits into a napkin, while Kunzite watches over a wadded up black handkerchief with his eyes as big as saucers. The other seniors are staring at Kunzite and shooting Zoi angry looks.] Yuck. It tastes like wood.

Usagi: That’s probably just the end. I’m sure it’s better further down.

Zoi: [licks the underside of it then turns it to lick back up all the way to the tip] No, it’s uniformly bad.

Naru: [Looks at Kunzite, who is sweating profusely and trying to loosen the collar of his black turtleneck.] What’s his problem?

Usagi: Who knows. That whole family is weird.

Zoi: Too bad I’m starving. Oh well, I’d guess I’d just better finish it off as fast as I can. [Crams half the banana in his mouth]

Naru: Careful or you’ll choke on it!

[A chair clatters in the distance and they look just in time to see Kunzite fleeing the cafeteria]

Zoi: [Pulls the banana from his mouth and smiles at Umino] Ha. And you thought he liked me.


	3. Intro to Biology

[Scene: Zoi enters a biology room filled with black lab tables covered with equipment. All of the other students are much older than he is. To his dismay there is only one empty seat. Next to Kunzite O’Sama. Kunzite is giving him a threatening look.]

Zoi: [To the teacher] Excuse me sir. I’m a new transfer student. I need you to sign my admission slip.

Mr. Tomoe: [signs it quickly] Go have a seat.

Zoi: Where?

Mr. Tomoe: Just find an empty seat and go sit down.

[Zoi looks again, hoping he missed a spot. All of the other seats are full. Neffy O’Sama seems aware of the dilemma and is chuckling under his breath. Zoi swallows hard and makes his way to the seat next to Kunzite’s.]

[As Zoi walks by a girl with green hair and a crescent moon tattooed on her forehead sticks out her foot to trip him. He drops his books and stumbles but recovers his footing just in time.]

Esmeraude: *Laughs insanely*

[Zoi picks up his books and slides into the seat next to Kunzite. Kunzite makes a show of turning away with his arms crossed.]

[The lecture is on cellular anatomy, which Zoi has taken before, so during the lecture, he doodles in his notebook and steals glances at Kunzite, who makes a point of sitting far away and ignoring him. As soon as the bell rings, Kunzite is the first out the door.]

[Zoi sighs sadly, gathers up his books, and leaves. A blond haired senior with green eyes falls into step with Zoi.]

Motoki: Hi, you must be Zoi.

Zoi: I see my reputation precedes me.

Motoki: Don’t worry, I’ve only heard good things. I’m Motoki. I’m a friend of Mamoru’s…Well, actually, I’m friends with almost everyone. My family owns the Crown Center arcade. Come by some time and I’ll comp you some tokens.

Zoi: Thanks. That’s nice of you. I can see why you have a lot of friends.

Motoki: So, did you stab Kunzite O’Sama with a pencil or what? I’ve never seen him act like that.

Zoi: [Artlessly] Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?

Motoki: Yes, he looked like he was in pain or something.

Zoi: I wouldn’t know. I’ve never spoken to him.

Motoki: He’s a weird guy. If I was lucky enough to sit next to you, I would have talked to you.

Zoi: Thanks. That girl with the green hair didn’t seem too fond of me either.

Motoki: Don’t mind her. That’s Esmeraude Blackmoon. She’s a bit of a character. Most of the Blackmoon tribe go to a private school, but she’s been kicked out for being a nutcase. Can I walk you to your next class?

Zoi: I have gym. I think I can find it.

Motoki: No problem. See you tomorrow.

[After gym class, Zoi walks into the office and sees Kunzite arguing with the woman behind the desk. He closes the door silently, so as not to alert Kunzite to his presence.]

Kunzite: –I don’t care. I need to transfer out of biology class right away. I don’t care what else is available. I’ll take anything.

Mrs Cope: [with the fearless indifference only a civil servant can muster] I’m sorry, Mr. O’Sama, I know your family has a lot of influence in this city, but this is high school. You can’t just drop one class and pick up another in the middle of the semester like that.

Kunzite: [Slams his hand down on the desk] Look, I don’t care what you do, get me out of that classroom.

Mrs Cope: I’m telling you. I can’t do that.

Kunzite: [Eyes glow white] You can and you will. Do what you have to do. I can’t stand being in that room for another minute.

[The door opens behind Zoi and a gust of cold wind whips through, causing Kunzite to turn around, to see Zoi standing there with his hair whipping around his face, which bears an expression of utter heartbreak.]

Kunzite: [Voice softens] Nevermind, then. I can see it’s impossible. Thank you so much for your help.

[Kunzite turns and storms past Zoi and disappears out the door without another word]

[Zoi turns in his admission slip with a shaky hand]

Mrs Cope: How did your first day go, dear?

Zoi: Fine. 

Mrs Cope: Just fine?

Zoi: …

Mrs Cope: That bad, huh?

[Zoi turns to leave, trying to fight back his tears.]


	4. Attack on the Fangirls

[Scene: The Midori kitchen. Zoi is wearing an apron and grating cheese. Police Chief Midori is lifting the lid off a pot of sauce and stealing a spoonful.]

Chief Midori: Um, this smells good.

Zoi: Dad, I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve decided you don’t need to turn on the siren every time you pick me up or drop me off at school in the squad car.

Chief Midori: Oh?

Zoi: In fact, I’ve decided you don’t need to pick me up or drop me off at all. I’m perfectly capable of taking the bus to school.

Chief Midori: No, you are not.

Zoi: Why not?

Chief Midori: Because you’re a cute sucker, that’s why, and this town is filled with perverts. I want to make sure everyone here knows that if they try anything with you they are messing with the long arm of the law. 

Zoi: …Dad?

Chief Midori: What, son?

Zoi: Do you know anything about the O’Sama family?

Chief Midori: Dr. Metalia O’Sama’s family? Sure. She’s a great doctor.

Zoi: I hear most of her patients die. 

Chief Midori: Who the hell told you that?

Zoi: And…the kids…they are a little different. They don’t seem to fit in well at school.

Chief Midori: [Angry] I swear, people in this town. Dr. Metalia is a gifted surgeon who could probably work any hospital in the world, making ten times what she makes here. So what if most of her patients die? That’s not her fault. She’s an asset to the community, and all these kids are well-behaved and polite. I had my doubts when she first moved in with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have problems with them, but they are all very mature. I haven’t had one speck of trouble from any of them. And that more than I can say about the Blackmoon kids, that’s for damn sure…And they stick together. Just because they are newcomers, people have to talk.

Zoi: Well, I must say, they are all very attractive [Smirks and bats his eyes] What’s the doctor like?

Chief Midori: Metalia? Very kindhearted, very grandmotherly. The type you expect to serve you instant coffee and fresh apple pie ala mode when you come over to visit. She looks just like…. Who is that frumpy old busybody who is always sticking her nose in everyone’s business in the comic strips ?

Zoi: Mary Worth?

Chief Midori: Exactly. She looks exactly like Mary Worth. She’s just an all-around, old fashioned, sweet little old lady which is probably why her kids all turned out as well as they did. [His phone rings] Chief Midori speaking. Fifty of them? Oh, my god. I’ll be right there! [Hangs up and reaches for his bulletproof vest, holster, and his jacket] Damn. Not again.

Zoi: [scared] What’s wrong, dad? 

Chief Midori: Potential terrorist attack at the convention center. They are having a so-called “yaoi” convention there right now, and fifty of these so-called “fangirls” have passed out all at once while watching a “cosplay” performance of something called “DeathNote.” 

Zoi: I hear that’s not that unusual.

Chief Midori: I know. But it’s been over an hour and they are all still unconscious. I suspect it’s just another one of those freak gas clouds, but I have to follow up. [Kisses Zoi on the cheek while Zoi cringes to let him know he’s a little too old for that sort of thing] Got to go. I’ll be back shortly. If I’m not here before the enchiladas are ready, start dinner without me.

Zoi: Dad, be careful. I don’t like it that your job is this dangerous.

Chief Midori: Don’t worry. I’ve been a cop in this town for longer than you’ve been alive and nothing has happened to me yet.

[Hours pass. Zoi is sitting at the dining table, alone, staring at the clock and toying with his fork and a plate of enchiladas without actually eating. Finally he picks up the plate, carries it to the couch and turns on the TV. He channelsurfs until he finds a news station covering the convention center attack.]

Reporter: We are live with some of the victims of what police are calling a freak gas cloud at the convention center. One of the ballrooms has been converted into a field hospital. I’m here with the victims. [She points the microphone at a teenage girl lying listlessly on a cot] Can you tell us what you remember?

Girl: Oh, my god, oh, my god, it was AMAZING! AMAZING!!! Light AND L! They were so hot! They were played by two GUYS. They were chained together. Chained together! [fanning herself with her hands] And they started kissing!

Second girl: KISSING! [Grabs the microphone] They were making out! Right in front of Misa!!! Like she wasn’t even there!!! OMG! O-M-G!!

[In the background the girls in the other cots are screaming and some are swimming in place.]

Female Voice: I saw tongue! I SAW TONGUE!!! LIGHT AND L WERE PLAYED BY TWO HOT GUYS AND I SAW TONGUE!!!

*SQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Reporter: [Backing away to keep from going deaf from all the screaming fangirls] There you have it. Clearly, these girls are all hysterical from the attack and babbling incoherently. Maybe police chief Midori can shed some light on this. Chief Midori?

[Zoi lets out a sigh of relief when he sees his father alive and well and on the TV and starts eating]

Chief Midori: Yes, this appears to be another of those unexplained gas clouds that occasionally forms throughout Hen Tie. It is important for people to remain calm and remember that none of these clouds to date have done any lasting damage. They just drain people of their energy for a day or two. After a good night’s rest, all of these girls should be as right as rain.

Reporter: So we still have no idea what causes these energy-draining attacks?

Chief Midori: No clue whatsoever. I’d just like to remind people there is no reason to be alarmed. If there is a criminal cause behind these mass fainting attacks, we will get to the bottom of it.

Reporter: There you have it–

[Zoi turns off the TV, clears the dishes, and goes to sleep.]

[Zoi wakes up the next morning and it is snowing outside]

Zoi: [Looks up at the steel grey sky] Great! [Plods off to breakfast. His father is at the breakfast table eating a plate of enchiladas. Zoi pours himself a bowl of cereal.]

Chief Midori: Morning, sport. Thanks for the enchiladas…Really good… I’ve packed some in your lunch bag….. It’s snowing out. You’d better bundle up.

Zoi: [Muttering under his breath] Sixty-five yesterday, snowing today. I swear, this town is so messed up. 

Chief Midori: What did you say?

Zoi: Nothing. How did it go last night?

Chief Midori: Not bad. I apologize it took so long, but all of the witnesses seemed more interested in talking about this so called “DeathNote” than they were in describing the attack.

Zoi: [Between spoonfuls of cereal] Never really got into DeathNote. Though I thought Matt was a pretty cool character.

Chief Midori: [Excited] I know. I know, Isn’t it amazing how he only got about thirty seconds of screen time, and yet he’s the second most popular character in the entire series?

[Zoi munches on his cereal with one brow raised.]

Chief Midori: Errr… or so I gathered from talking with some of these so called “fangirls” last night.

Zoi: Suuure, dad.

Chief Midori: [Hurries from the table] You’d better get ready for school.


	5. Lunchroom Babylon

[Scene: The school’s icy parking lot. Zoi climbs out of the squad car, is all bundled up in a thick jacket, scarf, and gloves, and walks toward the school. A few people recognize him. They wave and he waves back. 

Then he notices Kunzite O’Sama is staring at him in the distance. Kunzite is just standing there in a black leather duster and sunglasses with his arms crossed, watching Zoi with a smile on his face. Zoi smiles back, until he remembers how cold Kunzite was toward him in the previous day. 

He turns his back on Kunzite and makes a show of acting as aloof as possible until his dad turns on the siren when he drives away. The noise startles Zoi so much he loses his footing on icy asphalt and falls on his behind.

Zoi gets up and sneaks a glance at Kunzite, who is chuckling with amusement before walking away. Zoi dusts the snow off his bottom and goes to class.]

[Scene: Later at lunch Zoi sits next to Umino. Zoi notices the O’Sama kids bought sushi, which they are eating off lacquer dishes with chopsticks. All but Kunzite, who is just holding his chopsticks and staring at Zoi with a fond smile. This is really starting to creep Zoi out. Especially since Kunzite’s eyes, which Zoi was fairly sure were a light blue the previous day, appear to be a wolfish silver.]

Umino: [Looking into Zoi’s Tupperware] Are those enchiladas?

Zoi: They are left over from the ones I made last night. You want some?

Umino: Don’t mind if I do.

[Zoi passes him the Tupperware container with a shaky hand, never taking his eyes off Kunzite.]

Umino: Are you ok, Zoi?

Zoi: Kunzite O’Sama is staring at me again.

Umino: [Sneaks a peek at the O’Sama table] He doesn’t appear to be in quite such a bad mood today.

Zoi: That’s why I’m worried.

Umino: Huh?

Zoi: He’s probably planning something mean. I don’t think he likes me. [blushes with shame]

Umino: [Passes back the Tupperware after helping himself to an enchilada] The O’Sama’s don’t like anyone… or I should say, they don’t notice anyone enough to like them. [Nudges Zoi] But Kunzite sure seems to notice you.

[Zoi averts his eyes away from Kunzite and stares at the table.]

Umino: Zoi? [Watching Kunzite watching Zoi]

Zoi: [Queasy whisper] Stop looking at him.

[Umino opens his mouth to tease Zoi a little until he realizes how truly frightened his friend is.]

[Fortunately Motoki and Mamoru arrive with their lunch trays to break the tension]

Motoki: Mind if we sit here?

Umino: Go right ahead.

[Kunzite’s smile falters as Mamoru races Motoki for the seat next to Zoi, then gives Zoi a pleasantly surprised look as if he didn’t realize anyone was sitting there. Kunzite shudders a little then forces himself to look away.]

[Usagi and Naru arrive. Usagi sneaks up on Motoki and puts her hands over his eyes.]

Usagi: [Giggling] Guess who?

Motoki: [Smiles] Must be my best girl, Usagi. [gently pulls her hands away and gazes at her over his shoulder] I’d recognize that lyrical little laugh anywhere.

[Usagi giggles some more]

Mamoru: That’s funny, this is the first time I’ve heard a rabid hyena referred to as lyrical.

Usagi: [Stops laughing] Oh, grow up, you jerk.

Naru: Room for two more, boys?

Umino: [blushes deep red] For you, Naru? We have all the room in the world. You don’t even need to ask. [Moves this things to make room for her.] 

Naru: Thank you. [She and Usagi take the seats on the other side of Motoki.]

Usagi: [Eyeing Zoi’s lunch] Are those enchiladas? Can I –

Zoi: No.

Usagi: [whines] You didn’t even know what I was going to ask.

All the other boys: Yes he did.

Usagi: [sniffs with indignation before she and Naru finish their lunches] Hey, Motoki. Naru and I are thinking of putting together a beach bonfire party at Blackmoon Cove in a week or two. You’re invited to come if you’d like.

Motoki: Sure thing. Sounds like fun. Can I bring my friends?

Usagi: [makes an exaggeratedly sour face at Mamoru] That depends on which friends you plan on bringing.

Mamoru: I’ll go if Zoi goes.

Zoi: I’ll go if Umino goes.

Umino: [Looks right at Naru and blushes] I’m definitely going.

Usagi: Hooray, the boys are all in! [Pulls Naru from the table] Come. Let’s go invite the girls!

Motoki: [sighs as he watches them leave] That Usagi sure is a goodhearted girl.

Mamoru: …but silly. 

Motoki: There’s nothing wrong with a bit of silliness now and then. It makes the world a brighter place.

Mamoru: Maybe. In small doses. I’m not really into the whole blond bimbo scene. I prefer my blonds cute and brainy, with just a touch of class. [Casually drapes his arm against the back of Zoi’s chair]

[In the distance one of Kunzite’s chopsticks snaps in half]


	6. Biology 101

[Scene: Zoi walks into biology class. He sees Mr. Tomoe passing out microscopes and boxes of slides, and Kunzite sitting at their table. He is still smiling at Zoi, but his chair is as far from Zoi’s side of the table as he can get. Zoi walks to his seat with all the resigned dread of a prisoner walking to the guillotine.]

Kunzite: [turns his chair to face him.] My name is Kunzite O’Sama.I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier. You must be Zoisite Midori.

Zoi: H-how do you know my name?

Kunzite: [Laughs] I think everyone knows your name. 

Zoi: No, I mean why didn’t you call me Zoi like all the other students?

Kunzite: …You prefer Zoi?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite: I prefer to call you Zoisite.

Zoi: Oh. [shivers]

Kunzite: You don’t like the cold, do you? Or the dark. Hen Tie must be a difficult place for you to live.

Zoi: You have no idea.

Kunzite: …You’re unhappy. That doesn’t seem fair. You put on a good show, but I bet you are suffering more than you let anyone see. Am I wrong? [Looks into his eyes] I didn’t think so.

Zoi: [blushes] My face is so easy to read.

Kunzite: On the contrary. I find you very difficult to read. [Continues to gaze at Zoi with his silvery eyes] 

Zoi: Did you get contacts?

Kunzite: [Puzzled] No.

Zoi: Oh, I thought there was something different about your eyes.

[Kunzite turns his eyes away from Zoi, and sits silently with his hands clenched into fists.]

Mr. Tomoe: Attention class. Today you will be separating slides of onion root cells into groups by phases of mitosis. You are not to use your books. I will come by in twenty minutes to see how you are doing. Get started.

Kunzite: [pointing to the box of slides] Age before beauty, partner?

Zoi: Or you could start, if you wish.

Kunzite: …huh?

[Zoi flushes as he realizes his mistake. They both grab the box of slides at the same moment and recoil with shock as their hands touch.]

Zoi: You know what? I’ll go ahead. I’ve done this before. I know what to look for, this should be easy. [His hand is shaking so hard that when he opens the box of slides they go flying everywhere] Oh. I’m sorry. Let me get those. 

[As Zoi climbs under the table, Kunzite scoots his chair so far back he bumps the table behind them. He breaks into a sweat as he watches Zoi crouch In front of him in all fours. He looks over his shoulder to see if any of the other seniors are checking out Zoi’s pert little bottom, and quite a few are.]

Kunzite: Zoisite! Get out from under there.

Zoi: This won’t take long. I can grab a nice handful from here.

Kunzite: [under his breath] Yes, so can I.

[Zoi climbs out from under the table and start counting slides]

Zoi: 12…13…14… wait there is still one missing. [Slips back down under the table]

Kunzite: Leave it. 

Zoi: I can’t or we’ll get docked 6% of our grade.

[Kunzite crouches forward and pulls out his handkerchief and mops his brow as Zoi crawls back and forth under the table, his long gold hair is coming loose from his ponytail and his shirt is creeping up to reveal just a strip of his smooth pink back, concave waist, and flat belly.]

Zoi: [Crawls out and stands up] It’s not here. It must have landed on your chair. Stand up for a second.

Kunzite: I can’t!

Zoi: Why not?

Kunzite: [Turns red] Forget the damn slide!

[Zoi walks over and examines underneath Kunzite’s chair, while Kunzite pulls his coat over his lap]

Zoi: It’s got to be here. I looked everywhere else. [Tries to check under Kunzite’s coat, which Kunzite tugs so hard that Zoi goes sprawling across his lap]

Zoi: Sorry. Oh! [Giggles] I think I just felt it.

Kunzite: [sweating bullets] That’s my cellphone!

Zoi: [Gives Kunzite a look of confusion] I mean I found the slide, it must have fallen through my shirt and got caught in my belt. See? [Stands and hikes up his shirt to his chest so Kunzite can see the slide stuck between his belt and his jeans.]

[Zoi unbuckles his belt to get the slide.]

Kunzite: Mr. Tomoe! Assign me a new lab partner at once! This one is impossible to work with!

Mr. Tomoe: Too bad for you. There aren’t any free chairs, so I guess you are stuck with him.

Kunzite: I don’t accept that!

Mr. Tomoe: Then I guess it’s too bad you aren’t the one in charge here. You will stay where you are. 

[Zoi gives Kunzite a startled look. He shudders when he notices Kunzite’s eyes are blue again.]

Mr. Tomoe: I think it is good that the two of you are lab partners. It will teach you some patience and humility. 

Motoki: [Raises his hand] Mr. Tomoe? I’m already good friends with Zoi, so I wouldn’t mind trading seats with Kunzite.

Mr. Tomoe: That’s very kind of you to volunteer, Motoki, but since Neffy O’Sama is your current lab partner, that would put two family members at the same table, and I can’t allow that.

Neffy: I have a better idea. [rubs his hands together] Why don’t I change seats with Kunzite, and Zoi can be my lab partner? I can tell from here he’s even ~more energetic~ than Motoki. I assure you, Mr Tomoe, I don’t have the same…qualms… my brother does. [Grins from ear to ear]

Kunzite: Don’t even think about it, Nephrite!

Neffy: [Leans back with his hands behind his head and winks at Kunzite] Oh, don’t worry. I’ll take good care of him. Or should I say: I’ll take care of him…for good. No sense in letting all that youthful energy go to waste.

Kunzite: Try it, Nephrite, and it will be the last thing you ever do.

Mr. Tomoe: Kunzite, are you quite finished being disruptive? Because other people would like to get on with their work.

Kunzite: [Puts on his coat] Don’t worry. I’m leaving.

Mr. Tomoe: Where do you think you’re going? Get back in your seat.

Kunzite: I just realized I’m supposed to be at a conference right now.

Mr. Tomoe: You are on thin ice mister—

[Kunzite leaves, slamming the door behind him. Zoi sighs and completes the assignment without him. The bell rings and Motoki is at Zoi’s desk. He scoops up Zoi’s books and carries them as he walks alongside Zoi.]

Motoki: That was awful. I’m sorry you got stuck with Kunzite O’Sama as a lab partner.

[Zoi just looks sad]

Motoki: He seemed so much friendlier at lunchtime. I wonder what his problem is?

[Zoi says nothing as Motoki walks him to the gym]

Motoki: [hand him his books] See you later, Zoi.

Zoi: um…sure…ok

[Zoi spends the rest of the schoolday in a haze of selfpity. As the final bell rings, he gets his jacket and gloves from his locker and waits in the icy parking lot for his father. He watches as most of his freshman classmates board the bus. As it pulls away his phone rings.]

Zoi: Hello, Dad.

Chief Midori: There was another incident at the conference. Same as before.

Zoi: Same conference or same incident?

Chief Midori: Both. This will take a while, so I want you to wait for me in the library.

Zoi: [Watches Motoki walk to his dark blue Crown Center van] Can I ask for a ride from my friend Motoki? He’s a senior and he’s got a van.

Chief Midori: Absolutely not.

Zoi: Oh, come on!

Chief Midori: No, Zoisite! Get in the library right now and wait for me!

Zoi: Damn it Dad! I don’t want to wait there! That might take hours! I could have been on my way home already if you’d just let me take the bus! [stamps his feet]

Chief Midori: Zoisite O. Midori! Don’t you sass me! Get your butt in the library and work on your homework until I get there!

[Zoi hangs up and paces the icy parking lot in a huff. He stops pacing when he notices Kunzite off in the distance, staring at him again. Zoi makes a face at him and he sees Kunzite’s mouth fall open in an expression of sheer horror. Zoi is so preoccupied with trying to interpret that expression that he doesn’t hear the high pitched screech behind him until it becomes painfully loud.]

[He turns around and sees Motoki’s blue van skidding with its tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly on the black ice directly toward him.]

[Impact is imminent. Zoi doesn’t even have time to blink. ]


	7. O’Sama Family Secrets

[Scene: The van is about to strike Zoi. Kunzite grabs hold of him and they vanish in a purple flash, just one second before the jarring crunch of the van hitting the row of cars behind them. 

A few onlookers scream. Zoi looks around and realizes he is suddenly several yards away from where he and Kunzite had been standing just an instant before.]

Zoi: [Turning to face Kunzite] How did you—

[He doesn’t have time to finish the sentence. Mokoti’s van has not stopped. It is ricocheting from the impact and is gliding right toward them again. Zoi tries to tighten his grip on Kunzite but Kunzite pushes him away.

Then to Zoi’s utter shock, Kunzite turns toward the van with his coat and hair billowing and whipping about. His eyes glow white and he levitates, arms out at his sides and his legs together, about fifteen feet from the ground. 

As the van approaches, Kunzite brings his arms forward and releases a blast of dark energy that causes to hood of Motoki’s van to crumple like paper and burst into flames. 

Zoi screams when he sees Motoki slumped over the steering wheel, his face streaked with blood, as flames lick the windshield of the burning van.] 

Zoi: Kunzite! Motoki’s trapped! We need to help him!

Kunzite: [pins Zoi to his side in an iron grip.] Leave him be. It’s too dangerous.

[Zoi gives Kunzite an imploring look, but to Zoi’s horror, Kunzite is watching the flames and is smirking with satisfaction.] 

Zoi: Motoki! [He wriggles free and runs to the van, intent on rescuing his friend.] 

[As soon as he gets about a yard of it, Kunzite bats him aside. The flames die completely, right before Kunzite tears the driver side door from its hinges with one hand and pulls the unconscious Motoki out to lie flat on the icy ground.]

[By now a huge crowd of students and adults has gathered, and they are screaming like bedlam. ]

Kunzite: [eyes glow white again] Attention people! Listen up! This is very important! None of you saw anything! You just got here! When you arrived, Motoki was already lying on the ground! Anyone who tells you differently is a sweat-stained glue-sniffing social-leper and should probably be avoided at all costs!

Crowd: …

Male voice: Dear God! There’s been an accident! 

Female voice: Oh, my gosh! Motoki looks hurt! Did anyone see what happened?

[The crowd murmurs they did not]

[Zoi is stares at the crowd in openmouthed disbelief]

[Kunzite saunters off and Zoi runs after Kunzite and shouts at him above the wail of sirens]

Zoi: What did you do? 

Kunzite: [Gives Zoi a look of bafflement] I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just got here. Same as you did. How should I know?

Zoi: You liar! We were both right here when it happened! I saw you! 

Kunzite: [ slightly flustered] …You did?

Zoi: [Hysterical] What’s going on? Why doesn’t anyone but me remember what happened? You were all the way over there– then one second later–What did you do to Motoki! 

Kunzite: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was standing right next to you the whole time. The van almost hit you, and I pulled you out of the way, just in the nick of time, but you slipped on the ice and hit your head–

Zoi: [Grabs Kunzite by the arms and tries to shake him] No! You’re lying! That’s not what happened! You weren’t anywhere near me until you materialized out of nowhere! How did you get here so fast? You were over there and you grabbed me and we were somewhere else! And then-

Kunzite: [pets his head] Easy there, Zoisite. I think you hit your head pretty hard.

Zoi: No! I didn’t! I–

[Kunzite catches Zoi as his eyes close and he crumples into his arms]

[A short time later…]

[Zoi wakes up in the ambulance. He’s strapped to a gurney and wearing a neck brace. He tries to sit up.]

Paramedic: Careful. You hit your head pretty hard.

Zoi: [sighs] So I’ve been told.

Paramedic: How are you feeling?

Zoi: Very weak, but completely uninjured.

Paramedic: [prods the top of Zoi’s head with his fingers] Does any of this feel tender?

Zoi: No.

Paramedic: [Walks around and shines a penlight in each of Zoi’s eyes] No sign of concussion, no bumps or contusions, no obvious injuries. We’ve taken some mobile x-rays to be sure, but I think you’re going to be just fine.

Zoi: [Looks overs at Motoki, who is all bloody and unconscious and being wrapped up like a mummy on the stretcher next to his] What about my friend? Is he going to be ok?

Paramedic: He’s fine. It just a broken arm and some minor cuts and dings. Once they put him in a cast and pull all the bits of glass from his cheek and hairline he should be ok. We’re more concerned about you at the moment.

Zoi: Oh, Why’s that?

Paramedic: You got hit by a van. Everyone watched as you were sent flying, headfirst, into the asphalt. Several witnesses said you got right back up, but you were hallucinating, right before you passed out.

Zoi: I was hallucinating?

Paramedic: That’s what they say.

Zoi: Oh. That actually makes sense. But you say there is no sign of injury?

Paramedic: None whatsoever. Not even a scrape. Your vitals are excellent. From the way the witnesses describe the accident, you should be street pizza, but if I didn’t know better, I’d say you merely fainted.

[The ambulance pulls up to the hospital. Kunzite gets out of the passenger seat of the ambulance and walks alongside Zoi’s stretcher as they wheel him and Motoki into the ER.

Nurse Eudial: [Unstraps him] Hello, young man. I’m Eudial. I’ll be your nurse. You’ll be in good hands. Dr. Metalia will be in to see you both shortly.

Zoi: [Sits up in a panic] Dr Metalia?

Nurse Eudial: Oh, yes. She’s the best doctor ever. You’ll love her.

[Dr. Metalia O’Sama slithers in on her serpent’s tail, which protrudes from the bottom of her labcoat where her legs should be. She has blue skin and green smoke instead of hair, and a black serpents tongue that darts in and out between black lips]

Metalia: Yessss…yesssss….little blond boyssss for me to feedssss on…My favoritesss! Harvessstsss their energiesss and ssssendsss them to the morgue… Kunzzzzite …I mussss eatssss their flessssh and chewsss on their bones…. Esssspeccccially the tiny one…

Zoi: *shrieks*

Nurse Eudial: Isn’t she a peach? She reminds me so much of my own grandma.

Kunzite: [places his hand on Dr. Metalia’s arm] Mother. May I have a word with you in private?

Metalia: [pulls her arm away] Feedsss now…talksss later!

Kunzite: Mother. It’s important.

[Metalia gives a hiss of reluctance and they leave. Nurse Eudial leaves a short time later.]

[Zoi waits until the coast is clear, then pulls off his neck brace, throws it across the room and runs to Motoki’s bedside]

Zoi: [shakes him] Motoki! Motoki! Get up!

Motoki: *groans*

Zoi: Motoki! Wake up, please. You have to help me, you’re the only person here I trust. I know I’m just imagining things, but if I’m not, then Kunzite’s mother is a goddamn naga!

Motoki: Zoi? [opens his eyes] Oh, Zoi, I’m so sorry… I thought I was going to kill you…

Zoi: It’s ok, Motoki. It was an accident.

Motoki: I was going too fast. I hit the ice all wrong…how did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then Kunzite appeared out of nowhere and grabbed you, and then you were both gone in a purple flash—

Zoi: [blinks] Kunzite appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me? You’re sure about that?

Motoki: [moans] I think so, then I could have sworn I saw him float fifteen feet in the air and hurl a bolt of black lightning at me, but I probably imagined that part…Is he ok?

Zoi: Motoki, listen to me. We have to get out of here. If we stay, that creepy flesh-eating doctor thing will eat us both. 

[Zoi tries to yank Motoki out of bed, but since Motoki is barely conscious, it’s a lost cause. Footsteps approach]

Zoi: Motoki. You mustn’t tell anyone what you just said to me. Especially not Kunzite, or Dr. O’Sama, or anyone who works here. If they ask you about the accident, tell them you can’t remember a damn thing. Please, Motoki. Not a word to anyone. This is very important.

Motoki: Um…ok, Zoi.

[Kunzite returns with nurse Eudial]

Nurse Eudial: Good news, Zoisite, your XRay looks good so you’re free to go home. Your father’s waiting for you in the waiting room, along with most the students from Hen Tie High.

Zoi: What about Motoki? I can’t just leave him here!

Nurse Eudial: I’m afraid he’s going to have to stay for a while to be fitted for a cast [turns to Motoki] Motoki, I’m sorry but Dr. O’Sama has been called away for a family emergency, so Dr. Mizuno will be taking over your care. She’s not quite as good as Dr. O’Sama but she’s got a pretty decent track record, so everything is going to be fine. 

[Zoi breathes a sigh of relief and Kunzite puts his hand on his shoulder and walks him out]

Kunzite: Your father will be very happy to see you. I ran into him in the corridor and he is completely out of his mind with worry about you.

Zoi: Kunzite, I’d like to speak with you alone for a minute.

Kunzite: What do you want?

Zoi: You owe me an explanation.

Kunzite: I saved your life. I don’t owe you anything.

Zoi: I want to know the truth. [bursts into angry tears] If you expect me to lie to everyone like some battered housewife from a Lifetime Channel made-for-TV movie, I’d like to know exactly what it is that I’m expected to cover up!

Kunzite: What do you think happened?

Zoi: I know what I saw! That van was going to crush us both—and it didn’t! Instead you floated off the ground and blasted it to pieces.

Kunzite: [Smiles] So, you think I can fly?

Zoi: *nods*

Kunzite: Nobody will believe you. You know that.

Zoi: I’m not going to tell anyone!

Kunzite: Then why does it matter?

Zoi: It matters to me!

Kunzite: Why can’t you just say ‘Thank you’ and get it over with?

Zoi: [fuming] Thank you.

Kunzite: You’re not going to let it go, are you?

Zoi: No.

Kunzite: In that case… I hope you like disappointment.

[Kunzite walks away, leaving Zoi standing alone with a sour expression on his face]


	8. Bella’s Even Denser

[Scene:  Zoi arrives in homeroom.  There is a single red rose on his desk with a note.]  

A ROSE IS A MIXTURE OF FLOWER AND THORNS. HOPE YOU’RE FEELING BETTER – YOUR SECRET ADMIRER

Zoi:  [To Umino]  Did you see who left this?

Umino:  I sure did.

Zoi:  Who was it?

Umino:  I’m not supposed to tell you, but I’ll give you a hint. His name starts with Mamoru and ends with Chiba.

[Zoi looks back at Mamoru who smiles and gives him a little wave.  Behind him, Naru is trying to comfort Usagi, who is weeping inconsolably into a box of Kleenex]

Usagi:  [from the back of the room] Motoki, my sweet angel…you are too good for this world!

[Zoi and Umino drop their voices down to whispers] 

Zoi:  Oh, no!  Did Motoki die?

Umino:  No.  Usagi is just being a crybaby as usual. He’s not in school today, so Usagi’s afraid he won’t be back in time for her to ask him to the Spring Dance that is coming up.  It’s Lady’s Choice and she’s been working up the nerve to ask him out all month.

Zoi:  Are you going?

Umino:  That depends on whether I get asked.  So I assume I will not.

[Zoi watches Umino, watching Naru, consoling Usagi.]

Zoi:  Want me to drop some hints to Naru?

Umino:  [sinks into his chair]  no…please don’t do that…

Zoi:  Don’t worry. I can be sneaky enough not to put you on the spot.  I’ll just talk you up a lot, and then make her think that if she asks you, you might not say no.

Umino:  I’d rather you didn’t.

Zoi:  Why not?

Umino:  Because it’s a lost cause.  She’s totally into Neffy O’Sama.

Zoi:  Do you really think any senior who spends that much time on his hair is gong to want to go to a dance with a freshman?  Even if she does ask him, you can catch her on the rebound.

Umino: …please…just don’t say anything to Naru…Unless— [smiles]

Zoi:  Unless what?

Umino:  Unless I can convince Usagi to ask you instead! Then Naru and I can tag along as your wingmen.

[Looks back at Usagi, who is blowing her nose in a dramatic fashion while Mamoru cringes]

Zoi:  No thanks. I don’t do dances.  I’m into guys, not girls, so I wouldn’t even know what to wear.  Besides, I can’t see Usagi asking me.  I don’t think I’m her type at all.

Umino:  If you’re not, you’re pretty much the only one here, boy or girl, who isn’t. Aside from yours truly, of course.

Zoi:  [Looks back to see Usagi and Mamoru squabbling] If things don’t work out with Motoki, she should go out with Mamoru.  They look really cute together.

Umino:  Ha, that will be the day!  Besides, YOU’RE the one he’s sending roses to.

Rei:  Mamoru gave you that rose? What the hell?  I dated him for five weeks solid and he never sent me flowers!

Umino:  Stalking isn’t dating, Rei.

Rei:  Oh, be quiet, you geek.

[The bell rings, they leave. Zoi finds an empty water bottle, fills it at the drinking fountain, and sticks the rose in it.  Kunzite walks up to Zoi as he’s putting the rose in his locker and getting out his books]

Kunzite:  Zoisite.

Zoi:  What?  Are you speaking to me again?

Kunzite:  No, not really.

Zoi:  Then what do you want?

Kunzite:  I’m sorry.  I’m being very rude.  I know. But it’s better this way, really.

Zoi:  I don’t know what you mean.

Kunzite:  It’s better if we’re not friends.  Trust me.

Zoi:  [gathers up his books and hugs them to his chest] It’s a shame you didn’t figure that out earlier.  You could have saved yourself a lot of regret.

Kunzite:  Regret?  Regret for what?

Zoi:  For not letting that stupid van squish me.

Kunzite:  You think I regret saving your life?

Zoi: I know you do.

Kunzite:  [chuckles] Don’t be such a drama queen.  

[Zoi flushes with anger. He gives Kunzite a death stare, which Kunzite seems to find amusing.]

Kunzite:  Sorry.  That was rude. Not saying it isn’t true.  But it was rude to say it anyway.

[Kunzite smirks at him and starts to walk away]

Zoi:  [Calls after him]  Oh, what’s the matter, Kunzite!  Did I just bust the needle on your GAYDAR!          

[In a flash Kunzite turns and pushes Zoisite by his lapels against the lockers]

Kunzite:  [snarling inches from his face] What the Hell is that supposed to mean?

[Zoisite is so scared he’s dropped his books, but he’s too angry to back down]

Zoi:  Oh, come off it!  I know exactly why you’ve been avoiding me.  It’s the same reason you can’t stand having me in your biology class  Don’t worry. You’re not the first big macho stud I’ve met who didn’t want a little sissy faggot for a lab partner!

[For a moment Kunzite just stands as still as a statue.  Then his face softens.]

Kunzite:  I don’t think of you as a little sissy faggot.

Zoi:  That’s a pity.  Because you’re wrong.

Kunzite: … [releases Zoi]… you’re gay?

Zoi:  *nods*

Kunzite:  I…didn’t know that…  [backing away]

Zoi:  Oh, right! I guess you’ve been sitting as far from me as you can for no apparent reason. Since you clearly don’t care at all what anyone thinks of you, I’m guessing you’re either afraid I’m going to lose control of my gay urges and leap your bones, or else you’re worried you’ll catch some gay disease by sitting too close to me. Well, don’t worry. I don’t have cooties.  I’m still a virgin.

[Kunzite backs some more with a look of horror.]

[Zoi smiles at Kunzite like David smiling at Goliath  as he curls a lock of hair around his finger]

Kunzite:  So. You really assume I’m the type of man who can tell if someone is gay just by looking at them?

Zoi: I assume you’re the type of man who likes to err on the side of caution. 

Kunzite:  So you think I’m a homophobe?

Zoi:  I know you are.

Kunzite:  You don’t know anything.  

[Kunzite gathers up Zoisite’s books, gently places them in his hands, and leaves]

[Scene:  Lunch:  Zoi joins up with Umino, Naru, and Usagi in the cafeteria.  It’s Taco Day and he’s pining for real Mexican food, so he brought money instead of packing a lunch.]  

[However he quickly learns there is no real Mexican food to be had in Hen Tie. So he just buys a can of ice tea.]

Zoi:  I’m not sure what those things were, but where I’m from, tacos aren’t served in a shell. And they certainly aren’t made with ground beef.

Rei:  Well la-dee-da.  So sorry our humble Hen Tie cuisine doesn’t meet with His Majesty’s approval.

Usagi:  [giggles] Oh, ignore her.  I think she fell off her broom this morning on the way to school.

Rei:  Haha.  Real mature, bun-head.

[Usagi sticks out her tongue at Rei who sticks out her tongue right back at her.]

Umino:  You seem to be in a better mood than you were this morning, Usagi.

Usagi: [Smiles] I called up my sweet Motoki, and he’s doing well.  He should be back school tomorrow.  He’s wearing a cast, so he promised me I can carry all his books for him.  

Zoi:  Did you ask him to the spring dance?

Usagi: [nods] I sure did, but he says he has to work that weekend.

Umino:  His family is making him work weekends with a broken arm?

Usagi:  They aren’t MAKING him work. What can I say?  My guy is an angel. [sighs happily] Always so quick with a kind word and a helping hand. [sighs sadly]  Now I just need to find another date.

Umino:  [Pushes Zoi forward] What about –

Zoi:  – Mamoru?

Usagi:  [makes a face]  Mamoru?  That stinkbomb? I wouldn’t ask him to a dance if he were the last boy on earth!  He’s crass, cruel, meanspirited, bossy, creepy, totally full of himself, and he dresses like he robbed some colorblind pimp.  I wouldn’t be caught dead at a dance with a guy like that.

Rei:  Then it wouldn’t bother you if I asked him?

Usagi.  Um…. No… why would I mind…? Go ahead and ask away…

Rei:  Good, I already did.

Usagi:  Huh! What? You asked Mamoru without telling me first?  What did he say?

Rei:  He said maybe.

Usagi:  [weeping] Oh, Rei!  How could you?  You broke the girl code! You’re only allowed to ask a guy I like if the answer’s going to be no!

Rei:  How did I break the girl code?  You’ve told me a hundred times you can’t stand him!

Usagi:  I can’t stand him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like him!

Zoi:  Then you should ask him out.  

Rei:  [nods] There’s still hope.  When I asked, he said he might go with me…if he doesn’t get asked out by a certainly golden-haired vixen he’s had his eye on for a while.

Usagi:  A golden-haired vixen?  That must be me!  Oh…but, Rei, I don’t want to poach your date.

Rei:  Hey, don’t worry.  I’ve already told him to go to hell.

Usagi:  Hurray! Then it’s settled.  Oh, Rei, you’re the best friend ever!  [Hugs her while Naru frowns] Excuse me everyone, I’m going to find Mamoru right now and ask him to the dance.  [composes her face into a thoughtful look]  I mean, it’s not like it’s a real date.  After all, he’s just Motoki’s best friend, so I’m kinda using him as a placeholder until my real boyfriend gets back.

Naru:  Just go, Usagi.  We’re not judging you.

[Usagi scampers off and the rest go to Umino’s usual table.  Zoi sneaks a peek at the O’Sama table and sees that Kunzite’s seat is conspicuously empty.  Neffy, Jeddy and Beryl are eating and talking with each other in the spots where they usually sit, but Kunzite is nowhere to be seen.]

[Zoi doesn’t know why that bothers him, but it does.]

Umino: [Whispers to Zoi] Kunzite’s staring at you again.

Zoi: Huh?  

Naru: I wonder why he is sitting alone today?

[Zoi turns to see Kunzite staring at him from an empty table across the cafeteria.  He beckons him over with his finger.]

Rei:  [Incredulous] He means you?

Zoi:  Maybe he just needs help with his biology homework. I’d better go see what he wants.

[Zoi get up and goes to the table and faces Kunzite from behind a chair, resting his hands on the back of it.]

Kunzite:  [smiles] Why don’t you sit with me today?

Zoi: [Hesitates, then sits with a great deal of trepidation] This is different.

Kunzite:  Well… I decided since I’m already going to hell, I might as well do a proper job of it.

Zoi:  I don’t have any idea what you mean.

Kunzite:  I know….[glaces of to the side]  I think your friends are looking at us.

[Zoi looks over and sees his friends have hidden behind a nearby potted tree. They are staring all goggle-eyed at him and Kunzite, but quickly duck behind the trunk when they see him looking at him.]

[Zoi keeps staring at them until they sigh and go back to their table.]

Kunzite: I’ve stolen you from them.

Zoi:  They’ll survive.

Kunzite:  I may not give you back.

[Zoi feels a lump of dread form in his throat]

Kunzite:  You look worried.

Zoi:  No…surprised actually…what brought this on?

Kunzite:  I’m getting tired of making myself stay away from you, so I’m giving up.

Zoi: Giving up?

Kunzite:  I’ve been trying my best to behave myself around you.  Then I asked myself…why? Why am I trying to be good, when it’s not part of my nature? I should just take what I want. After all, what’s stopping me? What’s keeping me from just dragging you off and doing whatever I want to you?  I will, you know.  Just as soon as I figure out why I haven’t done it already.

Zoi:  You lost me again.

Kunzite: I always say too much to you.  That’s one of the problems.

Zoi:  Don’t worry.  I don’t understand any of it.

Kunzite:  I’m counting on that.

Zoi:  So in plain English: are we friends now?

Kunzite:  [Incredulous] Friends?

Zoi:  Or not.

Kunzite:  I’m not a good friend for you to have.

Zoi:  You say that a lot.

Kunzite:  Only because you’re not listening.  If you’re smart, you’ll avoid me.

[Zoi stares at his can of ice tea.]

Kunzite: Aren’t you hungry?

Zoi:  No.  Aren’t you?

Kunzite: No. I’m not hungry.

[Zoi continues to stare at his drink.]

Kunzite: What are you thinking?

Zoi:  I’m trying to figure out what you are.

Kunzite: Are you having any luck with that?  

Zoi: No.

Kunzite: Tell me your theories.

Zoi:  I’m guessing you’re either an orphan from the Planet Krypton, or the future CEO of Stark Industries.

Kunzite:  You’re not even close.

Zoi:  I’ll figure it out eventually.

Kunzite:  I wish you wouldn’t try.

Zoi:  Because?

Kunzite:  Because what if I’m not a superhero?  What if I’m one of the other guys?

Zoi:  Oh…I see.

Kunzite: Do you?

Zoi:  You’re dangerous?

Kunzite: *nods*

Zoi: But not bad.  No. I don’t believe you’re bad.

Kunzite:  You’re wrong.

[They stare at each other for a while.  Then Kunzite snickers]

Zoi: What?

Kunzite:  Your boyfriend thinks he needs to come over here and rescue you.

Zoi:  I haven’t got a boyfriend.

Kunzite:  That’s what you think.  Your boyfriend thinks differently.

Zoi:  [flushes with anger] I can see it was a mistake coming over here. 

Kunzite:  You’ve got a bit of a temper, don’t you?

[Zoi pushes his chair back and rises to his feet]

 Zoi:  I’ll see you in biology class.

Kunzite: I’m not going to biology class.

Zoi:  Oh?

Kunzite:  Not today. [Rises from his seat and puts on his coat] It has nothing to do with you. I thought I should tell you that beforehand so you didn’t get the wrong idea.

Zoi:  Then why?

Kunzite:  Because I already know about the lab for today, and I don’t care to participate in it.

Zoi:  Mr. Tomoe is going to fail you if you keep skipping out of class like this.

Kunzite:  It’s lucky for him that doesn’t concern me the in the slightest. 

 [Kunzite leaves the cafeteria and Zoi walks back to his usual table and sits next to Umino and Mamoru]

Mamoru:  What did he want?

Zoi:  God only knows.

[Scene:  Later, in biology class.]

Mr Tomoe:  The Red Cross is having a blood drive so I thought you should all know your blood type.  I will be coming around with kits.  Once you get your kits, I want you all to carefully prick your finger with the lancet, apply a small drop of blood to each of the four prongs, then apply it to the card, like so.

[Zoi is not paying much attention.  Instead he’s doodling in his notebook.  He’s filled the margins with flowers and now he’s practicing his writing.

_Kunzite O’Sama._

_Zoisite O’Sama._

_Zoi O’Sama._

A substantial shadow approaches and Zoisite closes his notebook.  In spite of himself, He secretly hopes Kunzite reconsidered ditching the class, and is gladdened when he hears the chair next  to him scrape the floor. 

As the shadow takes a seat, Zoi fights off most of the traces of his elation before he looks up. His smile fade completely when he sees the person sitting next to him has long reddish-brown hair and a powder-blue sportscoat, and is giving him a roguish grin.

Neffy:  You cost me a lab partner.


	9. Neffy:1 Zoi: 0

[Scene: Biology class. Neffy is giving Zoi a charming smile, but Zoi can tell it’s fake. He’s taken a strong and immediate dislike to Neffy, so he focuses on opening the blood typing kit. Neffy opens his as well, but doesn’t take his eyes off Zoi.]

Neffy: My, what alluring green eyes you have. Has anyone told you they look like pools of emeralds?

Zoi: Um, no.

[Zoi pricks his finger until a dot of blood wells up then dabs it against the prongs before applying the prongs to the card]

Neffy: You look like you’ve done this before.

Zoi: I have.

Neffy: [pushes his card over to Zoi] Now do mine.

Zoi: No. That would be cheating. 

Neffy: So?

Zoi: So, if someone tells Mr. Tomoe, I might get expelled.

Neffy: Motoki would do it for me anyway.

Zoi: I’m not Motoki.

Neffy: I can see that.

Zoi: Sorry, I know you’re squeamish, but you’re just going to have to prick your finger like the rest of us.

Neffy: I’m afraid that would not work at all. You see, I don’t have a blood type.

Zoi: Everyone has a blood type.

Neffy: [picks up the lancet, slices open the tip of his finger and shows Zoi the trickle of green] Not everyone.

Zoi: Oh, my god! Your blood’s green. How are you still alive?

Neffy: Never mind. Just do my card.

Zoi: I think you should talk to Mr. Tomoe. I’m sure he’ll understand.

Neffy: No, I think you should do exactly what I say before I rob you of your free will.

Zoi: huh?

Neffy: Fine, have it your way… [Zoi shrieks as a soul shadow rises from Neffy and howls at Zoi with its big red eyes and mouth. 

Neffy: How are you seeing this?

[The shadow circles Zoi and then is absorbed back into Neffy.]

Neffy: What are you? Why didn’t that work…? Oh, well, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

[Zoi rises from his chair with the intention of fleeing, but Neffy touches his arm and an arc of energy appears, crossing over to Nephrite and causing both of them to glow.]

[Zoi slumps face first onto the table.]

Neffy: Damn you’re tasty. I can see why my brother likes you so much.

[Neffy grabs Zoi’s hand, jabs it hard with the lancet, and completes his lab. Then he raises his hand.]

Neffy: Mr. Tomoe, Zoi isn’t feeling well. Requesting permission to take him to the nurse’s office.

Tomoe: [looks at Zoi lying cheekdown on the desk with a blank expression on his face] Great, a fainter. There is one in every crowd. Permission granted.

[Neffy pulls Zoi’s arm over his shoulder, grabs his waist, and helps him out of the class.]

[Once outside he pushes him against the wall]

Neffy: Alone at last, my chickadee. Now I can start feeding in earnest.

[The arc reappears, and Zoi’s legs are giving out. He falls to one knee and Neffy drapes Zoi’s arm over his shoulder again and half carries toward the nurse’s office, laughing like a fiend while Zoi grows weaker with every step]

Zoi: …i…can’t…feel…my…legs

Neffy: [admires Zoi’s rapidly fading aura] Don’t worry, it’s not much further.

Zoi: Just let me sit for a minute, please?

[Neffy drops Zoi, who rolls onto his side into the snow and curls himself into a ball]

Neffy: I wish you could see yourself right now. Your face is almost as green as my blood is. 

[Neffy steps back and the arc of energy reappears between them. Zoi’s breathing is becoming labored and he closes his eyes. Neffy throws his head back and resumes his fiendish laughter. His laughter stops abruptly as a transparent black dome appears over Zoi.]

Neffy: Huh?

[The dome resembles a protection spell, except Neffy is still able to leech energy through it. He wonders what the point of a protective dome might be if it doesn’t stop his attack. Then it hits him.]

Neffy: Oh, shit.

[The blast sends Neffy flying. He hits the side of the cafeteria, leaving a sizable hole in the stucco before he collapses to the ground. Kunzite floats down and blasts him again for good measure, before vines resembling barbed wire snake out from the ground to pin Neffy in place.]

Neffy: [smiling at Kunzite] It was worth it!

Kunzite: [glances at Zoi’s still form in the snow] I tell you not to do something, then I turn my back, and you decide to do it anyway. Such insubordination cannot go unpunished.

Neffy: [still smiling] Oh, man. You’ve got to try some. It tastes like spiced wine and hot cherry pie.

[Kunzite stares at him]

Neffy: Don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t going to drain him completely without giving you a taste.

[Kunzite looks at Zoi, who hasn’t moved an inch]

Neffy: Ok, I totally was, but that wasn’t my intention in the beginning.

Kunzite: It seems you have put me in a very awkward position. I swore I’d kill you if you tried something like this, and I don’t want a reputation for making idle threats. However, Mother will be greatly displeased with me if I murder one of her children just because he tried to break one of my toys. [A pair of energy swords appears in his hands] I’m afraid you’re going to have to suggest a suitable compromise before I start cutting.

Neffy: [still smiling] Ah. Look at the poor little guy. Half buried in the snow and too weak to shiver. I wonder how long he can lie there like that before hypothermia sets in?

[Kunzite looks at Zoi and his face softens. Then he sees a rivlet of green near Neffy’s hand. The swords vanish.]

Kunzite: You’re already bleeding. I’m glad. It will make it far easier for you to swear a blood oath to protect Zoisite at all cost, even at the expense of your own safety.

Neffy: [his smile vanishes] No.

[Kunzite grabs Neffy’s bleeding hand, snapping the vines holding it in place, and uses the bloody finger to draw a symbol on Neffy’s forehead]

Kunzite: Say the words.

Neffy: Never.

[A knife made of energy appears in Kunzite’s hand]

Neffy: [laughs] What are you going to do with that? Kill me? Do it. Then go to Mother and explain how you diced me up for no good reason while I was having a snack.

[Kunzite smiles at Neffy and grabs a fist full of his hair and tugs it off to the side]

Neffy: [breaks into a sweat] Oh. Hell no.

Kunzite: I always did wonder what you’d look like as a bald man.

Neffy: No, not the hair! Please! Not the hair!

Kunzite: [smiles] Don’t worry. It’ll grow back. Eventually. 

Neffy: God damn it, Kunzite! This isn’t funny! Do you have any idea how many centuries it took to get it to flow like this?

Kunzite: Maybe Beryl can help you with her dark healing magic. After we show her what you look like with your head sheared pink.

[The knife descends]

Neffy: NOOO!!! STOP! DO IT AND I’LL KILL YOU! I MEAN IT!

Kunzite: And then do what? Go to Mother and explain how you killed one of her children over a haircut?

Neffy: FINE I’LL SAY THE WORDS! 

[Kunzite steps back as Neffy chants in a long forgotten language. The green symbol vanishes. Kunzite steps back and the vines release as he saunters over to Zoi.]

Neffy: [rises to his feet] You know what? I don’t even care. I’ll have enough fun watching you self-destruct as you make a sentimental fool of yourself. 

[Neffy laughs maniacally before he teleports away]


	10. Tuxedo Gamekiller

[Scene: Kunzite walks over to where Zoisite is lying curled up in the snow, more dead than alive. Kunzite kneels in the snow and gathers Zoi into his arms and brushes the snow from his face. He allows himself to admire how angelic Zoi looks when he’s sleeping, with his soft lips, delicate features, molten gold hair, and impossibly long eyelashes. Kunzite brushes the damp strands from Zoi’s face with his thumbs and holds him close. A band of energy appears between them, except instead of growing fainter, Zoi’s aura grows stronger. Kunzite stops as soon as Zoi’s breathing has become strong and steady.]

Kunzite: Zoisite. Can you hear me?

Zoi: No. Go away.

[Kunzite chuckles and rises to his feet, still holding Zoi in his arms like a sleepy toddler. Zoi’s eyes open. They are a different shade of green. Darker and cloudier, more malachite than emerald.]

Zoi: Put me down! 

Kunzite: [grins] You look awful.

Zoi: Put me back on the sidewalk!

[Kunzite ignores him and carries him like a baby into the nurse’s office.]

Nurse Kaolinite: Oh my.

Kunzite: He fainted in biology class. [gently places Zoi on a cot] He’s just a little weak. They are doing blood typing.

Nurse Kaolinite: [nods] There is always one. Just lie down for a moment, honey. It will pass.

Zoi: I know.

Nurse Kaolinite: Does this happen a lot?

Zoi: Never.

[Kunzite grabs a pillow and blanket from the linen closet and tucks Zoi in.]

Nurse Kaolinite: You can go back to class now, Kunzite.

Kunzite: I’m supposed to stay with him.

Nurse Kaolinite: I’ll get you some ice for your forehead, dear.

[Nurse Kaolinite leaves. Kunzite pulls up a chair and sits by Zoi’s bedside.]

Zoi: [turns on his side to smile weakly at him] You were right.

Kunzite: I usually am, but about what in particular this time?

Zoi: About ditching. That biology class sucks.

Kunzite: [smirks] You scared me for a minute there. A few more seconds and Nephrite would have been dragging off your dead body to bury it in the woods.

Zoi: Haha. I wish I had the strength to laugh.

Kunzite: Honestly, I’ve seen corpses with better color. I was concerned I might have to avenge your murder.

Zoi: Do I detect a hint of sibling rivalry?

Kunzite: [smiles] He absolutely loathes me.

Zoi: I guess that explains why he took off as soon as you got there. How did you see us? I thought you were ditching.

Kunzite: I was in my car listening to a CD.

[Nurse Kaolinite reenters with an icepack. By now Zoisite’s color has returned *]

[*including his eyecolor]

Nurse Kaolinite: Here you go, dear. You’re looking better.

Zoi: [Hands the compress back to the nurse.] Here, I don’t need this. I think I’m fine. 

[Zoi tries to rise, but the room spins, so he lies back down.]

Nurse Kaolinite: [hears the door to the reception area open] Oh, dear. It looks like we’ve got another one.

[Kunzite rises from his chair to make room for the new arrival. Mamoru walks in wearing gym clothes. He and Kunzite stare daggers at each other before Mamoru steals Kunzite’s chair. Kunzite turns his back on them and rests his hands on the sink.]

Mamoru: I’m just here to check up on Zoi. We’d like a moment alone, if you don’t mind.

[Zoi lies on his back and exhales. The chemistry between Kunzite and Zoi is undeniable and it’s annoying Mamoru to no end]

Nurse Kaolinite: Sure thing, I’ll be right outside. 

[She leaves. Kunzite doesn’t budge. Since Kunzite’s bigger than Mamoru, Mamoru decides to just ignore him.]

Mamoru: [takes one of Zoi’s hands in both of his] Hey there, buddy. I was afraid I might find you here.

Zoi: You’re missing class just to check up on me?

Mamoru: I got worried when you didn’t show up for gym class, so I faked an injury to come look for you. Had I known you weren’t feeling well, I would have brought you more roses.

[Kunzite clutches the edge of the sink and trembles with rage]

Zoi: Thank you, but I’m fine. Really.

Mamoru: Great. I’ll bring you back to class with me. Do you need my help getting ready for gym?

Kunzite: [growls] Try it and you’d just end up right back in here.

Zoi: Kunzite’s right. I probably need to stay here and rest. [he looks at Kunzite and blushes a little]

Mamoru: No, problem, Zoi, as long as you’re feeling well enough to keep our date next weekend.

Zoi: [mortified] Date? What date? I didn’t agree to any date!

Mamoru: Don’t you remember? Our beach date?

Zoi: [chuckling nervously] Oh, you mean the big informal get-together that Usagi’s hosting, that she’s inviting everyone to and that we both agreed to show up at. Sure, I said I was in. [steals a glance at Kunzite] I thought you meant a REAL date.

Mamoru: We’re all taking Motoki’s new van. We’re meeting at the Crown Center at ten.

Zoi: I’ll be there.

Mamoru: Great. I’m looking forward to it. [rises and heads for the door] 

Zoi: By the way, did Usagi ask you to the dance?

Mamoru: [stops and turns] She sure did.

Zoi: That’s great. You’ll have a lot of fun.

Mamoru: [breaks into a sweat with his hand on the back his head] Well….

Zoi: You said yes, didn’t you?

Mamoru: I didn’t say anything. I pretended I had to take a phonecall to get out of answering her.

Zoi: Why? Why would you do that?

Mamoru: I was wondering if…well… maybe you were planning on asking me.

[Kunzite turns his head]

Zoi: …Mamoru. It’s a Lady’s Choice dance.

Mamoru: So?

Zoi: I’m not a lady!

Mamoru: You’re more of a lady than I am.

Zoi: [goes red in the face] Mamoru. I think you should tell her yes.

Mamoru: Did you already ask someone? [Looks at Kunzite, who has turned back to the sink with a faint smirk on his face] 

Zoi: No! I didn’t ask anyone. I’m not going to the dance!

Mamoru: Why not?

Zoi: I’m ….um…going to take a bus to Seattle that day.

Mamoru: Can’t you go some other day?

Zoi: No! So you shouldn’t make Usagi wait any longer. That’s rude!

Mamoru: Yeah, you’re right. See you tomorrow.

[Mamoru leaves]

Zoi: I swear, it’s almost worth getting sick just to get out of gym class.

[Nurse Kaolinite returns]

Nurse Kaolinite: How are you doing, honey?

Kunzite: Zoisite has gym this hour and I don’t think he feels well enough. Actually, I think I should take him home now. Do you think you can excuse him from class?

Nurse Kaolinite: Do you need to be excused too, Kunzite?

Kunzite: No. 

Nurse Kaolinite: [fills out a form] Alright. It’s all taken care of. You feel better, Zoisite.

[Kunzite helps Zoi to his feet]

Kunzite: Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?

Zoi: [scowls at him] I’ll walk.


	11. Riding in cars with boys

[Scene: The Hen Tie High parking lot. Zoi walks slowly, with Kunzite hovering close by]

Zoi: So are you going to the beach? This Saturday, I mean.

Kunzite: Where are you all going exactly?

Zoi: Blackmoon Cove. 

[Kunzite narrows his eyes]

Kunzite: I really don’t think I was invited.

Zoi: I just invited you.

Kunzite: [frowns and looks away] I can’t…

[They walk to a shiny black convertible Maserati]

Zoi: Funny, I don’t recall seeing this car in the parking lot before now.

Kunzite: It’s new. Get in, Zoisite.

[Zoisite opens the door and slides into the passenger seat. He hopes his euphoria at being invited into Kunzite’s car isn’t too obvious as he tightens up his ponytail and tucks it into his shirt. Otherwise, he knows his hair will look like a tumbleweed by the end of the trip.]

[Kunzite starts up the car and the sound system spring to life with the bass blaring]

Sound system: “There must be some kind of way out of here/said the joker to the thief…”

Zoi: All along the Watchtower!

Kunzite: You know Jimi?

Zoi: Of course I know Jimi! The man is a god!

Kunzite: [smirks] Tell me something I don’t already know.

[The car takes off tearing up the streets of Hen Tie with the squealing of tires and electric guitar. Kunzite is paying absolutely no attention the speed limit, but Zoi doesn’t seem to mind.]

Kunzite: What is your mother like?

Zoi: She looks a lot like me, but she’s prettier.

[Kunzite gives him a dubious look]

Zoi: She’s also sort of flighty and a bit of a dreamer. In that regard I take after my father.

Kunzite: How old are you, Zoisite.

Zoi: I’m fifteen.

Kunzite: [under his breath] Jesus.

Zoi: What?

Kunzite: You’re still a child.

Zoi: I am not! Besides, my mother says I have an old soul. You don’t seem much like a senior in high school yourself.

[Zoi watches Kunzite driving in silence and notices how sleek and glossy his hair is. As they speed along, it whips behind him, but then falls right back into place, without so much as a split end or a tangle]

Kunzite: So what’s your new stepfather like?

Zoi: Young, handsome, broke, and irresponsible. He’s Italian, they met in Rome. She’s young for her age and I think he makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she’s crazy about him.

Kunzite: Do you approve?

Zoi: Does it matter? He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but he does make her happy.

Kunzite: That’s very generous of you… I wonder…

Zoi: What?

Kunzite: …If she would extend the same courtesy to you.

Zoi: I-I think so. But she’s my mother. That’s a little different.

Kunzite: What if the guy you hooked up with was really scary.

Zoi: What do you mean by scary? Multiple piercing and tattoos?

Kunzite: I suppose that’s one definition of scary.

Zoi: What’s your definition of scary?

Kunzite: I don’t have one.

[Zoi giggles behind his fingers. Kunzite smiles at him.]

Kunzite: Do you think I could be scary?

Zoi: Hmm…I think you could be, if you wanted to.

Kunzite: Are you frightened of me now?

Zoi: No.

Kunzite: …

Zoi: So are you going to tell me about your family now? It’s got to be a more interesting story than mine.

Kunzite: What do you want to know?

Zoi: You’re adopted?

Kunzite: Yes.

Zoi: What happened to your birth parents?

Kunzite: They died a very long time ago.

Zoi: I’m sorry.

Kunzite: I don’t remember them. Metalia is my mother now.

Zoi: And you love her?

Kunzite: Yes.

Zoi: You’re very lucky.

Kunzite: I know I am.

Zoi: And your brothers and sister?

Kunzite: That’s a bit more complicated.

[Kunzite stops outside Zoi’s front door]

Zoi: [unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs out] Thanks for the ride. I hope we can do this again some time.

Kunzite: You’d better call your father and let him know you were sent home from school so he doesn’t drive all the way there to pick you up.

Zoi: [Untucks his ponytail] Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s already heard about the biology incident. There are no secrets in Hen Tie.

[Kunzite smirks for only the briefest of instants]

Kunzite: Have fun at the beach. Good weather for sunbathing. [Gazes up at the ever present ceiling of dark clouds] Will you do something for me this weekend?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite: Stay away from the Black Moon Clan. They are a bunch of inbred freaks.

Zoi: Huh?

Kunzite: And don’t drink any alcohol. Especially not if some guy like Mamoru offers it to you. Same goes for pot. If anyone lights up a joint, walk away. If they take offense, or try to pressure you, get the hell out of there. Even if you have to call your father. “More for the rest of us” is the only normal response. And if Motoki offers everyone a ride home in his van, make sure he doesn’t drop you off last.

[Zoi just stands there. baffled, as Kunzite drives away]


	12. I'm really sorry, Minako, but someone has to be the mean girl

[Scene: Friday morning, after homeroom. Zoi and Umino are walking to their lockers]

Umino: So what did Kunzite want yesterday?

Zoi: I don’t know. He never really got to the point.

Umino: You know, I’ve never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird.

[They open their lockers and can’t help but overhear Rei talking with Naru and Mamoru. All of them have their backs to Zoi and Umino and don’t realize they are there.]

Rei: Look at them. It’s like a fricken Norman Rockwell painting. [Pointing off in the distance at Motoki, standing at his locker with his arm in a sling, while Usagi holds his books to her chest and sways from side to side as she gazes at him adoringly] Hey, Mamoru, doesn’t it bother you that Usagi only asked you out because Motoki has to work?

Mamoru: Not really. It’s not like she was my first choice either.

Rei: Hey, wait a minute. If she wasn’t your first choice, what does that make me?

Mamoru: Er…um… [puts his hand behind his head and breaks into a sweat]

[Fortunately he’s spared from answering by the arrival of a gorgeous blonde with shampoo commercial hair, wearing the latest designer labels straight from the London runway.]

Minako: Greeting and salutations, my fellow harlots, [Gives Rei and Naru air kisses] I’m back from my gig in Milan. Where’s my girl Usagi?

Rei: [Jerks her thumb in the direction of Usagi and Motoki] She’s off playing Mother Teresa with Motoki.

Minako: Oh, my gawd, that’s so sweet! I’m getting a sugar high just looking at it. [Lowers her voice] Have any of you strumpets seen Kunzite today?

[Zoi leans closer to his locker and pulls up the hood of his sweatshirt to cover his hair. Umino opens his mouth to ask something, but Zoi places his finger to his own lips. Umino  
takes the hint. He follows Zoi’s lead and they hide their faces behind the doors to their lockers.]

Rei: I can’t say I have, why do you ask?

Minako: I ask cuz he is looking HAWT!!! [fans herself with both hands and pants like a dog]

Rei: Geez, Minako, you haven’t been away THAT long.

Minako: Yes, I know… and this is Kunzite we are talking about, the guy is incapable of not looking hot, but I’m telling you, today he’s looking grade A extra choice!

Rei: Really? Because I saw him sitting with Zoi Midori at lunchtime yesterday, he still looked like the same old Kunzite to me.

Minako: Who’s Zoi Midori? [flips her hair] Oh, isn’t that the new boy? The skinny little wimp who faints at the sight of his own blood?

Rei: [nods] Yeah, that’s the one.

Minako: Ha. I thought so. What’s a Hottie Mc Hotster like Kunzite doing with that twerp?

Naru: I don’t know. But they both seemed pretty angry about something. [gives Rei a questioning look]

Rei: I have no idea, but he should just go and sit with Kunzite from now on.

[Zoi’s heart sinks as the girls all laugh.]

Mamoru: [annoyed] Zoi’s my friend. He sits with us.

Minako: Shhh… Get ready to feast your eyes ladies, because here he comes.

[Kunzite walks by, wearing dress shoes, slacks, pencil thin black leather shoulder suspenders, and a deep blue dress shirt with the top three buttons undone to showcase his rock-solid chest muscles. Mamoru sulks while Minako and her friends pivot their heads to watch him go by past, then continue to stare as he makes his way down the hall.]

Minako : [makes squeezing motion with both hands in the direction of Kunzite’s buns] Muy caliente! Mama like! Mama like!

Naru: Minako, you really should ask him to the Lady’s Choice Dance.

Rei: Absolutely. You two are perfect for each other.

Minako: Oh, I don’t know about that. I mean I do ok for myself, but he’s hot, he’s rich, and he’s built like a pornstar. What if he turns me down?

Rei: Minako, you’re a professional model. You’ve done makeup ads. Your face is on a billboard in Japan, for crying out loud! If anyone at this school has a shot at Kunzite, it’s you.

Minako: Oh, I don’t know about that. I think they just pick me when they need someone who looks like an average teenage girl.

Naru: You do not look like an average teenage girl.

Rei: [nods] You’re definitely better than average.

Minako: Oh, really? [Sidles in between Rei and Naru and flips her hair] Exactly how much better?

[Zoi slams closed his locker and walks in the opposite direction. Umino tags behind him.]

Zoi: I don’t really feel like eating in the cafeteria today.

Umino: [glances over his shoulder] Yeah, me neither.


	13. Motoki, Motoki, Motoki…

[Scene: biology class. The lecture has already started ten minutes earlier, but Kunzite is sitting alone. He is tapping his pencil on the desk and glancing at the empty chair next to him. Occasionally he glances at the door. Eventually, he narrows his eyes at Neffy, who just gives him a shrug]

[Five minutes later the door flies open. Kunzite looks, and Zoi comes running in, sweaty and out of breath.]

Zoi: Sorry I’m late Mr. Tomoe. We were in the media center in the library studying for a test, and we lost track of time.

Mr. Tomoe: [pulls out his roll sheet] Tardy and disruptive. Go take your seat, Zoi, while I make a note of this in your attendance record.

[Zoi goes to his seat and gives Kunzite a quick grin. Kunzite gives him the cold shoulder.]

[Later, Zoi and Kunzite leave class at the same time for once]

Kunzite: Where were you today?

Zoi: What do you mean? I’ve been here at school all day.

Kunzite: You weren’t in the cafeteria at lunch, and then you showed up fifteen minutes late to class.

Zoi: It sounds like you were worried.

Kunzite: I’m always worried.

Zoi: Like I said before, I was in the library with Umino. We have a big French test coming up so we were going over our flashcards. I guess we lost track of time.

Kunzite: You and Umino were off in the library talking to each other in French for nearly an hour?

Zoi: Correct.

Kunzite: I must be losing my mind.

Zoi: [looks at Kunzite] Why’s that?

Kunzite: Because that shouldn’t bother me nearly as much as it does.

Zoi: I take you are not a Francophile? [gives Kunzite a sly grin] Bonjour, Je m'appelle Zoi Midori. Je voudrais un café au lait , s'il vous plaît

Kunzite: [smiles] Stop that.

Motoki: Zoi. Can I have a word with you? [peers over each shoulder] In the faculty restroom?

Kunzite: [steps in front of Zoi] Why do you need to talk in the bathroom?

Motoki: [lowers his voice] I don’t want Usagi or any of her friends overhearing us.

[Kunzite holds open the door and the three of them walk in. Motoki looks at the empty bank of urinals, then looks under the stalls for shoes. Kunzite is watching Motoki like a hawk. Motoki stares at Kunzite for a moment, then shrugs.]

Zoi: What’s up, Motoki?

Motoki: I wanted to ask you something.

Zoi: What is it?

Motoki: Would you like to go with me to the Spring Dance?

[Zoi and Kunzite’s jaws drop]

Zoi: Motoki, it’s a Lady’s Choice dance.

Motoki: Yes, I know, but since neither of us is a girl, I thought it would be ok for me to ask you.

Zoi: [gobsmacked] …I thought you had to work that day.

Motoki: That’s just something I said to Usagi to let her down easy.

Zoi: *blinks*

Motoki: So how about it?

Zoi: Wouldn’t Usagi get upset if she sees you there with me?

Motoki: [shrugs] I’ll tell her that I got the day off at the last possible minute, and you’re the only person I could find on such short notice.

Zoi: …I thought you liked her.

Motoki: I do like her. It’s just that my girlfriend made me promise her I wouldn’t go to any school dances with other girls. But she said nothing about other guys.

Zoi: …your girlfriend? Which girlfriend might that be?

Motoki: The one I live with.

[Zoi is going red in the face. Kunzite is just kicking back and enjoying the show]

Zoi: I take it she doesn’t go to this school?

Motoki: She’s already in college.

Zoi: This just gets better and better… Just so I’m clear: you have a live-in girlfriend, who goes to college, so you want to go to the dance with me instead of Usagi?

Motoki: [nods] Yes, exactly. It’s not like they’ll let me bring a twenty-eight year old.

[Zoi flushes. Kunzite has to cover his face with both hands to hide his laughter.]

Motoki: So how about it?

[Zoi punches Motoki in his good shoulder]

Motoki: Ow, what did you do that for?

Zoi: [so angry he can hardly speak] That was for Usagi! Because…you’re…already in an adult relationship…with a grown woman…and you’re letting Usagi carry your books around!

Motoki: Oh, don’t worry, I already told my girlfriend all about the Usagi situation, and she’s fine with it.

Zoi: Clearly, nobody has told Usagi!

Motoki: Why should anyone tell Usagi? It’s not like I’m in a real relationship with her.

Zoi: I don’t think Usagi realizes that!

Motoki: Oh, come on. Usagi’s like a sister to me. Besides, she’s too young for me. [chuckles] It’s not like I’m some pervert who goes around dating fifteen year old freshmen.

Zoi: I’m a fifteen year old freshman!

Motoki: Yes, but for us it would be strictly platonic. A boys’ night out. I wouldn’t be looking to score with you.

Zoi: [facepalms]…I…really…thought you were a nice guy, Motoki.

Motoki: [confused by Zoi’s outburst] I am a nice guy. So does this mean you aren’t going with me to the Spring Dance?

Zoi: No!

Motoki: Why not?

Zoi: I’m taking a bus to Seattle that day!

Motoki: That’s cool. [heads out the door] We still have prom.


	14. Oh yes she did

[Scene: Zoi leaves the bathroom and heads for the door of the building to go to gym. Kunzite falls into step beside him.]

Kunzite: I was wondering, if, a week from Saturday. You know. The day of the spring dance—

Zoi: Are you trying to be funny?

Kunzite: Will you please allow me to finish?

[Kunzite opens the door and they both exit and cut through the parking lot on the way to the gym]

Kunzite: You said you were going to be in Seattle that day so I was wondering if you wanted a ride.

Zoi: [comes to a complete stop and looks at Kunzite] What?

Kunzite: Do you want a ride to Seattle?

Zoi: With who?

Kunzite: Myself, obviously.

[Zoisite is stunned]

Zoi: Why?

Kunzite: I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and to be honest, I really don’t like the idea of you going there by yourself.

Zoi: I’m fairly sure I can get there on my own, thank you very much for your concern.

Kunzite: You getting there is not the problem. I’m more worried about you making it back.

Zoi: I don’t see how that is any of your business.

Kunzite: I’d rather not see you on the back of a milk carton.

Zoi: Honestly, Kunzite. I can’t keep up with you. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend.

Kunzite: I said it was better if we weren’t friends. Not that I didn’t want to be.

Zoi: Oh, thanks, now all that’s cleared up.

Kunzite: Will you go with me to Seattle?

Zoi: *nods*

Kunzite: You really should stay away from me. [pats him on the shoulder and starts in the opposite direction] I’ll see you in class.

[Zoi smiles a little as he resumes walking to the gym, but within a few steps, he encounters a tall blonde in black leather motorcycle gear chatting up Michiru, who looks like a movie-starlet with teal colored hair and a violin case]

Haruka: Hey, Goldilocks. Wait up. There’s something I want to ask you.

[Zoi walks over and Haruka closes the distance between them. Kunzite instinctive does an about-face when he notices some tall blond fellow in tight black leather chatting with   
Zoi. He nonchalantly wanders over to where Michiru is, but relaxes when he sees the guy Zoi’s talking to is actually Haruka.]

Zoi: Hey, Haruka. What’s up?

Haruka: [stands very close to Zoi] You, me, the spring dance, how ‘bout it?

Zoi: [rolls his eyes and heaves a here-we-go-again sigh] I thought it was lady’s choice?

Haruka: Well, yeah, that’s why I’m asking. I’ll even put on a dress for you and everything.

Zoi: …? [his gaze droops down to the two subtle lumps in the front of her leather jacket before his eyes widen in shock and he rushes to resume eye contact] You’re a girl?!?

Haruka: Yep. 100% all-natural female dyke. But you’re one of the few boys I can fantasize about without wanting to vomit. [tilts Zoi’s chin up and smiles at him] So, what do you say, kitten?

[For a minute Zoi just stands there, too stunned to speak. Then a faint blush appears on his cheeks.]

[The scene fades to watercolor pastels and an instrumental version of “Love is a Many Splendored Thing” plays somewhere in the background.]

[Cut to Kunzite and Michiru who are standing there with their mouths wide open, looking angry enough to kill someone. They stare at one another in outrage, before looking back at Zoi and Haruka in outrage.]

[The scene they are watching has not changed, except a stray wind has carried in a current of rose petals.]

[Then a record needle scratches and the scene returns to normal.]

Zoi: [clearly traumatized] Thank you for asking me, but I’m going to be in Seattle that day.

Haruka: [winks] Maybe next time.

Zoi: Sure…

[Zoi walks away looking shellshocked. Then he stops suddenly and gives a cringe and a shudder before go off to gym.]

[Michiru gives Haruka an angry look before shaking her head from side to side and walking off in a huff.]

Haruka: What?

[Kunzite smirks briefly knowing all is right in the world. Then resumes his usual stoic expression as he heads back to the classrooms. On the way he encounters Minako and Rei.]

Minako: Hello, Kunzite, I was wondering if—

Kunzite: [Doesn’t even slow down] The answer is no.

[Minako watches him leave and smiles]

Minako: The man is so hot, I’m not even mad at him.


	15. Blackmoon Cove

[scene: The Midori household. Zoi is packing up a pile of sandwiches for the beach party. Despite the recent snow, the weather is warm that day, nearly 80, so he just wears a t-shirt and jeans.]

Chief Midori: Ready to leave?

Zoi: Almost…. Dad, is Blackmoon Cove in a bad part of town?

Chief Midori: No, Blackmoon Cove is by far the safest neighborhood in Hen Tie. Why do you ask?

Zoi: Have you heard of a group called the Black Moon Clan?

Chief Midori: No– why?

Zoi: I told someone at school I was going to Blackmoon Cove today, and he told me I should stay away from the Black Moon Clan. From the way he was talking it sounded like they’re the Manson Family, or a bunch of sex crazed mutants out of “Deliverance” or something.

Chief Midori: There’s nobody like that at Blackmoon Cove. It’s very high end. Most of it is owned by the Blackmoon family, the original founders of Hen Tie, and they are extremely wealthy. Mind you, they used to be robber barons, and Judge Blackmoon is about as corrupt as they come, but he’s moved to the capital and his son Demande Blackmoon has taken charge of the family estate, and he runs a pretty clean ship. The new generation is rather mellow. That’s not say that they don’t have their share of delinquents. Rubeus and Esmeraude in particular. But it’s usual rich kid rowdiness: vandalism, shoplifting, public intoxication and indecent exposure…

Zoi: So you haven’t had any reports of anything scary or violent happening at Blackmoon Cove?

Chief Midori: Nothing at all. It’s a very nice neighborhood. Demande used to be a hellraiser in highschool, but then he went to college and discovered girls and that mellowed him out a lot. With his looks and his money, he has no trouble getting them.

Zoi: Oh, that’s good to know. My friend must have been talking about something else.

[Later: At Crown Center. A huge crowd of kids has showed up for the trip. Umino falls into step beside him. Zoi has brought a bag of sandwiches and a beach chair. Umino has brought fried shrimp sandwiches and two beach chairs. They load their sandwiches into one of the coolers. Rei and Minako have showed up wearing minidresses, sun hats, and stripper heels. They are each carrying a tackle box.]

Zoi: I didn’t know we were going fishing.

Umino: We aren’t. Those are their makeup kits.

[Zoi laughs, until Minako and Rei give him the stink eye and he realizes it wasn’t a joke.]

Mamoru: Zoi! You came! I told you it would be sunny today, didn’t I?

Zoi: [looks up at the sky, which is a hazy light gray instead of it’s usually black tungsten hue] Sure.

Mamoru: We’re just waiting for Ami and Makoto [frowns] unless you invited someone else?

Zoi: [smiles at him] Nope.

[Mamoru’s frown turns upside down]

Motoki: It’s going to be a tight fit getting everyone in the van. Zoi, you can have shotgun.

Usagi: I want shotgun!

Rei: Yeah, if it’s tight back here you should give shotgun to the girl with the big fat ass.

Usagi: Hey!

[They ride up the coast, which is filled with lush green pine forests, white capped gray waves, and sheer cliffs. The van is so packed Usagi had to wedge herself between Motoki and Zoi. Zoi is glad he has the window seat. The beach is covered with white driftwood and round stones instead of sand. At the top of the hill is an enormous Cape Cod style mansion, which Zoi assumes must belong to the Blackmoon family. It is the size of a shopping mall and there are no other houses around for miles.]  
[Motoki pulls into a dirt lot at the base of the hill. Everyone gets out and gathers driftwood for the bonfire. Once it’s built, Zoi sets up his chair on the rocks at the edge of the fire.]

Mamoru: Zoi, have you ever seen a driftwood fire?

Zoi: No.

Mamoru: You’ll like this then—watch the colors.

[Motoki starts the bonfire with a lighter and blue and green flames appear.]

Zoi: It’s blue.

Mamoru: The salt does it. [Sits down next to Zoi.]

[Usagi comes over and sits next to Mamoru and starts talking to him. Umino sets up his two chairs on the other side of Zoi and then sits in the one closer to him.]

Naru: [comes over and points to Umino’s empty chair] Is anyone sitting here?

Umino: No. It’s all yours. I brought that chair just for you.

Naru: Thanks. [picks up the chair and carries it to where Rei and Minako are sitting.]

[Umino sighs]

Minako: [sits on the hem of her dress to cover her behind] Rei, why didn’t you make me change out of this hoochie skirt? I am literally freezing my tail off.

Rei: I’m sure if Kunzite were here he would let you borrow his coat.

Minako: Oh, my god. Can you imagine? I would literally die!

Umino: Literally? Then I guess it’s too bad the O’Sama boys don’t come to Blackmoon Cove.

[Naru gives him a death stare, but Minako and Rei just nod in agreement.]

Zoi: Why don’t the O’Sama boys come here? 

Rei: They just don’t.

Zoi: Oh, if it’s a secret, I won’t tell anyone. I’m just curious.

Umino: Who knows?

Zoi: Is there a restraining order or something? 

[The girls ignore him. Mamoru walks to the cooler and comes back with an armload of four types of drinks and six types of sandwiches for Usagi and Zoi]

Mamoru: I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I brought back one of everything.

Usagi: Aw, that’s so sweet. [Takes the whole bundle] But you should have grabbed some for yourself too.

Mamoru: You are joking, right?

Ami: Would anyone like to come with me to explore the tide pools? We can see how many different types of aquatic sealife we can catalog by kingdom, phylum, class, order, genus, and species.

Umino: Sounds like fun. I’m in.

Naru: Me too. Minako? Rei? Are you coming?

Minako: In these shoes?

Rei: [looks down at her own heels] Not likely.

Zoi: [stands] Good enough for me. I’m in.

[Mamoru, Usagi, and Motoki rise as well. They all walk to the tide pools and count anemones, crabs, starfish and eels, until Mamoru holds one hand out in front of him.]

Mamoru: You feel that?

Usagi: What?

Maroru: It’s raining.

[Sure enough, they are pelted with fat raindrops as a sudden cloudburst deluges them with ice cold rain.]

Usagi: [wails] Let’s get out of here!

[The group rushes back to the base camp. By the time they reach the van, inside of which Minako and Rei have taken refuge from the weather, the group is soaked to the skin in ice cold rain water.]

Motoki: [looks forlornly at the tires, which are mired in thick pools of mud] I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere for a while. 

Mamoru: You could put it into gear and the rest of us could give it a push.

Motoki: Shakes his head. It’s not safe. The roads are too slick and the rain is coming down too hard and fast for the wipers to clear. There is no way I’m steering a vanful of people through the cliffs in this weather. Even if I didn’t have one arm in a sling.

Rei: Great. So either we can all cram ourselves into the van and stew in each other’s B.O. for the next god knows how many hours. Or we can stand in this freezing cold monsoon until we drown like rats. I’m not sure which I’d prefer, but right now, the cliffs aren’t sounding all that bad.

Naru: There is another option. [Points in the direction of the enormous mansion built high up in the cliffs] We can go up to the Blackmoon compound and see if they’ll offer us shelter from the storm.

Minako: Except we’re dripping wet and we look like shit. [Looks at her dripping foundation and her panda-eye makeup in a compact] If Demande Blackmoon sees me like this he’ll never let me into the grotto.

Zoi: What’s the grotto?

Umino: You’ve never heard of the grotto? Even I’ve heard of the grotto.

Rei: It’s only the eighth wonder of the world.

Mamoru: Rumor has it, there is a secret tunnel built in the mansion that leads to a private grotto fed by a mineral spring. The door has a retinal scanner, so only Demande Blackmoon can open it.

Minako: It’s not just a rumor, I’ve seen the door. Demande invited me to a few of his mansion parties once my modeling career took off, but I still haven’t been to the grotto. 

Motoki: He’s only showed it to three beautiful young women outside his immediate family, and they’ve all confirmed it is the most amazing place this side of heaven.

Usagi: I heard the ceiling is made of crystals that magnify the light and when it filters in it forms rainbows.

Ami: I hear there are flowers, birds, and butterflies there that don’t exist anywhere else in nature.

Umino: I hear there is statuary in there, imported from Italy, that dates back to Greece and Roman time.

Naru: I’ve heard there’s even an original Michelangelo in there, and it’s been in the Blackmoon family for centuries.

Motoki: Rumor has it the place is so vast, you could spend three whole days exploring it and not see everything.

Mamoru: Shall we go?

Motoki: [sighs] I don’t see that we have any choice.

[Zoi tails behind the others as they wind their way up the rain slicked steps carved right into the cliffs. Taken by itself, Kunzite’s warnings to be careful could be dismissed as idle chatter. Especially after his father assured him there was nothing to worry about. Finding out Kunzite never comes there himself? That strikes Zoi as just a wee bit ominous.]  
[Yet like Motoki said, there isn’t any other option]


	16. Madness Takes Its Toll

[Scene: The group had reached the landing leading up to the mansion. The rain is still pouring down just as hard as before. If anything, it’s gotten worse.]

[Rei giggles as she clutches the remains of her beach hat over her wet hair and looks at Usagi’s soaking pigtails and her dripping wet face. She grins.]

Rei: Usagi, you soggy.

Usagi: Oh, Shut up.

[Mamoru notices Zoi’s tee is plastered to his tiny frame. He has taken out his hairtie and is slightly bluish and shaking like a leaf]

Mamoru: [puts an arm around him] You ok buddy?

[Zoi just nods his head as he continues to shiver.]

Minako: Stop milking it. It’s not that cold.

Umino: Back off. He’s from Arizona. This is like ten below zero where he’s from.

[They arrive at the front door of the mansion and Motoki gives it a ring. The door opens to a crimson haired man with a crescent moon tattoo on his forehead. He’s wearing a vest and harem pants]

Rubeus: What do you townies think you’re doing here? 

Motoki: Please, sir, we were down on the beach and we were caught in the storm. We just need some shelter until the rain stops.

Esmeraude: [from inside] That voice. Is that Motoki from Biology class? [peeks her head out the door] It issss! [laughs insanely] And I see he brought his sorry band of loser friends with him. Hahaha, you all look retarded!

Rei: Are you going to let us in or not?

Rubeus: This is private property. We could have you arrested. Or, better yet, shot.

Usagi: [starts bawling] That’s so mean! How can you just stand there in your nice dry mansion and watch us get soaked to death? Let us in!

Demande: [From inside the house] Rubeus. Esmeraude What is going on out there?

[Esmeraude and Rubeus turn around and step to one side. Past them, the group can see a huge monitor with the image of a handsome young man with shaggy white hair, a white   
and blue Hawaiian shirt, and Italian sunglasses sitting on high backed leather chair and holding a glass of red wine.

Esmeraude : There are a bunch of retarded kids from my school here.

Demande: Well, don’t be inhumane, let them in, make them feel welcome, and bring them over to the Rivera Room so I can meet them.

Esmeraude : [snarls] At once, my prince.

Demande: And Rubeus, be sure to turn on the driers in the hallway. We don’t want them to catch their deaths on the way over here.

[Rubeus snarls and flips a switch. Strong sheets of warm air blast directly down on them, drying out their hair and clothing with each step. As they walk, the girls all talk about how sweet, charming, and handsome Demande Blackmoon is]

Umino: [Whispers to Zoi] Don’t you think Demande Blackmoon looks a lot like Kunzite?

Zoi: [scoffs] I think he wishes he looked a lot like Kunzite.

[After a few minutes they reach a huge chamber with a double staircase leading up to the upper levels.The walls are painted with frescoes and the ceiling is painted to look like the sky on a summer day. The floor is covered with several inches of a fine white sand and tropical plants are everywhere. Most everyone is wearing swimsuits and lounging on chaises under the sun lamps.

Demande Blackmoon watches over the scene from a high backed white leather chair on a raised dais. He is wearing long white swimtrunks, beach sandals, and a matching Hawaiian shirt. His brother Saffir sit on an ottoman near his feet. Both brothers have the now familiar crescent moon tattoos on their foreheads]

[The newly dried schoolmates stand in two rows facing the dais, girls in front, boys in back]

Demande: [His gaze sweeps across them. Welcome to Blackmoon Manor. I apologize for the rude way you were greeted by my cousins and hope you will not hold it agai– [When he comes to Usagi he stops as if spellbound] Oh, my. Who is this vision of loveliness I see before me?

[Usagi giggles and blushes as Demande removes his sunglasses, gazing right at her with his bewitching periwinkle colored eyes. Mamoru takes note of this and scowls.]

Demande: Never before have I beheld such beauty. I wouldn’t have even dreamt it possible. You…

[points at Usagi, who points to herself with a questioning smile] 

Demande: Yes, you, the one with the enchanting blue eyes and the flaxen pigtails, what is your name?

Usagi: [still giggling] It’s Usagi.

Demande: Usagi, could you be a lamb and move off to the side a bit. I want to get a good look at the boy behind you.

[Usagi frowns with indignation as she steps aside to reveal Zoi, whose tee is still stiff against his body and whose hair has has lost its curl and is hanging glossy and straight as a result of the driers]

[Demande rises from his chair saunters over to Zoi. He flashes a brilliant smile and looks over Zoi appreciatively.]

Demande: This is miraculous. You are clearly a boy, yet you are prettier than any girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. You must be a fairy changling, since someone this lovely could hardly be human. Your face is divine, your body, ethereal.

Esmeraude: [Looks angry enough to bite through steel] I don’t know if I’d go that far.

Demande: I just did [turns to Zoi] You’re Zoi Midori, aren’t you?

Zoi: You’ve heard of me?

Demande: Word travels. Especially around here. I’m Demande Blackmoon. [holds out his hand and they shake] Would you like some wine?

Zoi: I don’t drink.

Demande: Good. More for the rest of us. This is my younger brother Saffir, and all these other beauties you see before you are my cousins, near and far. You have biology class with my first cousin Esmeraude. [puts his arm around Zoi’s shoulder in a brotherly way and leads him away from the group] So how do you like life in Hen Tie?

Zoi: It’s ok.

Demand: That good, huh? Let’s see what I can do to liven things up for you. You want to see someplace truly amazing?

Minako: Oh, my gawd. Someone tell me that Demande Blackmoon will not raise the velvet rope so that runt can crawl into the grotto.

[Demande leads Zoi over to a door and stands in front of it, while a beam of light appears at eye level. The door opens with a clang]

[Rei and Minako, stare at each other in shock. Then start screaming, biting their nails, and then waving their arms around like fangirls]

Rei and Minako: Oh my God! He’s going to the grotto! He’s going to the grotto! Someone in my gang got into the grotto! [They both run over and kowtow to Zoi] We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

Minako: Ha! One of my very best friends got invited into the grotto. I can’t wait to inform all the stuck up bitches at the modeling agency!

Rei: Take your time in there! Tell us everything! We need to know every detail!

Minako: Leave nothing out! No matter how stupid! We need to rub some seriously snooty skank noses in this!

[Zoi just stares back at them like a deer in the headlights. He has a feeling Kunzite wouldn’t approve of this, not one bit. He considers backing out, until Esmeralde snarls at them and Saffir rises from his ottoman with a look of fury on his face.]

Esmeraude: No way! No effing way!

Demande: Cousin Esmeraude, I’d like it if you went up to your room until you can manage to be civil.

[Esmeraude leaves]

Saffir: Brother, you said it was my turn in the grotto.

Demande: Saffir, behave yourself, we have guests.

Saffir: [balls up his fists and goes red in the face] But it’s my turn. You promised. I’ve been waiting for three weeks now. This isn’t fair.

Demande: [walks over to Saffir to comfort him] Saffir. Look at me. You’re my brother. I can take you into the grotto any time I want. Zoi doesn’t live here. If I don’t show it to him today, he has to come all the way back here. That might be very inconvenient for him, don’t you think?

Saffir: *sulks* 

Demande: I’ll let you play in there all you want first thing tomorrow morning. First, I want to show it to Zoi. Is that ok?

Saffir: *sulks*

Demande: Can I have a hug?

[Gives Demande a stiff armed hug then sinks back onto his ottoman with his face buried in his hands]

Saffir: [mutters] You broke your promise. It was supposed to be my turn.

[Demande goes back to Zoi and Zoi relaxes. After all, if Demande’s own brother is throwing a temper tantrum about having to wait a few hours to get into the grotto, it must be completely innocent and truly extraordinary, like something out of Willy Wonka] 

Demande: Rubeus, go whip up a few pitchers of blended drinks for our new friends. And cook up some appetizers as well. And keep them coming. Even if the rain stops, you’re all welcome to stay as long as you’d like. In fact, I insist you all stay for dinner. We always cook enough to feed an army and tonight is prime rib night. If we aren’t back beforehand, be sure to save a couple places for us at the middle of the table. I’m sure Zoi will want to talk your ears off about all the wonderful things he discovers when the two of us get back.

Demande: Ready?

[Zoi nods]  
Demande: [pulls the vault door closed behind them, revealing a stone corridor carved directly out of the stone] What you’re about to see will change your life, I swear it.


	17. Bandai American Horror Story

[scene: A stone tunnel, built into the cliffs. There is lighting built directly into the walls activated by motion sensors.]

Zoi: So, do you come into town much?

Demande: Not if I can help it.

Zoi: A bit of a feud with the locals?

Demande: [looks surprised then give Zoi a smile] Now why would you ask me such a thing?

Zoi: I’ve heard a rumor that Dr. Metalia and her family are forbidden from coming to Blackmoon Cove. I wondered if maybe there was some bad blood between you.

Demande: Metalia is welcome to come here as much as she wants. It’s her children that have to stay away.

Zoi: Why is that?

Demande: I’m not supposed to say anything about that.

Zoi: I can keep a secret. [Gives Demande one of his patented kawaiiI looks]

[Demande raises one eyebrow and smirks]

Demande: I really shouldn’t say anything about that, but once you see how amazing the grotto is you won’t remember anything about this conversation anyway. Do you like scary stories?

Zoi: Sure.

Demande: Do you know where my people came from? I mean originally?

Zoi: Not really.

Demand: As you are no doubt aware, most people believe there are nine planets in our solar system. There was actually a tenth planet. That was where my people originally came from. It was called Nemesis.

Zoi: So you’re saying you’re a space alien?

Demande: Something like that. Though my people colonized this city while your ancestors were still living in trees, so I’d say I’m more of a native than you are. Before that, Nemesis was ruled by a lesser god of chaos called the Death Phantom. When the planet broke into pieces, the Death Phantom gathered his most devout worshipers and brought them to this planet, at the invitation of the Chaos Goddess Metalia. 

Zoi: The goddess’s name was Metalia?

Demande: [nods] My people were told they could depend upon her mercy. Metalia had no mercy. She invited us as guests, but then gave us away as slaves and pets to her   
children. Metalia’s children were cruel beyond measure. They had been handpicked for their savagery by Metalia herself from the several extinct races of mankind that existed before recorded history, and she imbued them with her dark powers. The daughter’s name was Beryl. She was to serve as Metalia’s oracle. The sons were Kunzite, Tanzanite, Nephrite, and Jadeite. 

[Zoi smiles. Now he knows Demand is just messing with him.]

Demande: They were her generals, and were known in some parts as the Four Horsemen. All five were coldblooded killers. They killed for food, they killed for sport. They killed out of rage, they killed out of boredom. Often they killed just to pass the time. 

The children of Metalia are murderous, even to their own kind. Tanzanite was Metalia’s favorite, so the others, led by Kunzite, found a way to tear him apart in their jealousy. She made countless attempts to create another son to replace Tanzanite, but each of those newborns were culled by the others before they could reach their full potential.  
In time, word of Metalia’s reign of terror reached beyond this world, and a White Queen of Order arrived from the heavens to eliminate Metalia and her children. My ancestors saw their chance to win their freedom. We offered this queen whatever assistance she requested, and she took my people under her protection.

She gave us all the moon mark you see on our foreheads. It appears at birth on all pureblooded children of Nemesis and was intended to protect us from Metalia and her children. My people gladly threw off the yokes of our enslavers, and helped their enemies in any way we could.

[Demande sighs dramatically]

Demande: However, my people quickly learned that this White Queen was arrogant. For all her talk of love, mercy, beauty, and goodness, she looked upon my people with repugnance and disdain. She told us to assimilate and adopt the customs of her own people. We could not. We worshiped death, and we were tainted by chaos. She forbade polygamy, adultery, and incest. We required it. Procreation had to be between siblings and cousins in order to keep our bloodlines pure.  
Hence, it quickly became clear to everyone there was no room for abominations like us in her perfect Utopia. She treated us worse than outcasts, declaring that the old ways made us outlaws, and therefore barring us from her palaces, refusing our rights to employment and property, and denying us charity in the hopes our bloodlines would die and we’d simply become extinct.

My ancestors soon learned it is easier to live as slaves than as untouchables. They broke their oaths and went back to Metalia. They betrayed the White Queen, allowing her to be defeated and killed. When the White Queen died, the moon on our foreheads turned black and served no purpose except as a mark of our treachery against the White Queen we are to bear for all times.

Legend has it Metalia surprised my people by showing them her favor at last. After all, she is a goddess of chaos, and the conduct of my people was chaotic in the extreme. She adopted my people as her stepchildren and rewarded our double-dealing by reactivating the White Queen’s protection spells against her own children, and by giving us this land as our sanctuary. 

So, you see, there is a covenant in place. So long as we do not knowingly and willfully attack one of Metalia’s children, they can never attack us, and not a one of them can step foot in Blackmoon Cove, not as long as there is even a single full-blooded member of the Black Moon clan still living.

Zoi: I suppose now you’re going to tell me the O’Sama family members are also direct descendants of the characters in this story?

Demande: No, they are the same ones.

[Zoi swallows hard]

Demande: [smiles] You have goosebumps.

Zoi: You’re a good storyteller.

Demande: Pretty crazy stuff, though isn’t it? [gives Zoi a sly wink] See why my father doesn’t want me to tell anyone?

Zoi: [gives him a sly smile right back] Don’t worry, I won’t give you away.

Demande: [chuckles] I think I violated a treaty.

Zoi: [winks] I’ll take it to the grave.

Demande: Oh yes you will.

[Zoi’s smile vanishes and he shivers with sudden anxiety.]

Demande: So you must think we’re a bunch of crazy cult members now? [his words are playful, but his tone is ominous]

Zoi: [swallows to keep the fear from his voice] No, I think you are good at telling scary stories though. See, I still have goosebumps.

Demande: [strokes his arm] Very nice.

[Zoi didn’t care for that, but they’ve finally reached to door to the grotto. There is another retina scanner which flashes across Demande’s eyes before the door opens with a clang.]

Demande: Beyond lies Shangri-La. [opens the door just enough to allow Zoi to squeeze in] Prepare to have your mind blown.

[Zoi steps in and his eyes go wide with horror]

Zoi: What the hell is this?

[The grotto is not at all as anyone has described it to him. There is a mineral spring, that much is true, as a murky bubbling pool about ten feet in diameter occupies the center of the chamber. The rest of it is a dank cave, about twenty by twenty, with a single casement window with iron bars blocking it as an exit. Off in one corner is a yoga mat on top of an air mattress, with a roll of condoms and a jug of lube next to it. But that’s not even as alarming as the only other piece of furniture in the opposite corner. Namely a kingsize bed surrounded by video equipment.]

[Zoi turns to leave, but Demande closes the door behind them with a clang.]

Demande: “Welcome to my parlor,” said the spider to the fly.


	18. Zoi: 1 Demande: 0

[Scene: Demande Blackmoon’s private grotto. Which isn’t nearly as wonderful as he wants you to think it is.]

Zoi: Open that door right now, or I will pull your guts out of your belly and use them to strangle you with!

Demande: I honestly don’t understand what you’re getting so upset about. [Stares into Zoi’s eyes as the crescent moon on his forehead rotates like the second hand on a clock]   
This is the most magnificent place you’ve ever seen. No matter what you’ve seen before, or what you’ve been told, it wasn’t nearly enough to prepare you for the beauty and splendor of the paradise you see before you. Just look at all the flowers, the waterfalls, the veins of precious gemstones embedded in the walls –

Zoi: What are you talking about? This place is nothing but a sleazy sex dungeon! And how the hell is that thing on your forehead moving?

Demande: [Taken aback] You can see that?

Zoi: Yes, I can see that!! 

Demande: [smiles nervously] You’re obviously imagining things. I think you’re just stressed out. We should go for a swim. 

[Demande walks over and dips his hand in the pool]

Demande: The water in this spring is as warm as bathwater. I’ll tell you what. I’ll race you to the other side of the pool and if you win, you can leave right now.

Zoi: I don’t have a swimsuit.

Demande: [smiles] That’s ok.

Zoi: No it isn’t!

Demande: If it makes you more comfortable, I’ll take mine off too.

Zoi: How would that make me more comfortable!

Demande: [chuckles] You’re a little firecracker, aren’t you? I never did like firecrackers. 

Zoi: Open that door right now or we’re going to have a problem!

Demande: But I haven’t even shown you around yet.

Zoi: I’ve seen enough!

Demande: [Leans against the wall with his arms crossed and smirks] You haven’t seen anything yet.

Zoi: [crosses his arms in front of his chest] Are you aware my father is chief of police?

Demande: Are you aware my father is a judge?

Zoi: Yes, but does your father keep a loaded gun on his nightstand?

Demande: [smiles] You’re not going to tell your father about this, are you?

Zoi: I have to! He’ll want to know why I stole his gun and used it to kill you with!

[Demande’s smile vanishes. He approaches Zoi while Zoi backs away. The moon stops moving and a third eye opens in the middle of his forehead. A beam of light shoots out and   
hits Zoi in the eyes.]

Demande: Give yourself up. You’re in my power now. You are intensely attracted to me. You think you might even be a little in love with me. You want nothing more than to please me and allow me to please you.

Zoi: *shrieks* You have three eyes! You’re a damn triclopes!

Demande: [Frowns] Why aren’t my powers of persuasion working?

Zoi: I don’t know but you’d better open that door right now or you’re going to wish you had a fourth eye so you can find all your teeth!

Demande: [sighs as his third eye vanishes] Fine. Except this puts me in a bit of an awkward situation. You see, I’ve never not scored when I brought someone into my grotto–

Zoi: You bring your own brother in here!

Demande: Like I’ve said, I’ve never not scored when I’ve brought someone in here, and I don’t want to ruin my perfect record. So how about I just give you a quick no-strings attached BJ and we’ll call it a day?

Zoi: Absolutely not!

Demande: Oh come on. What hotblooded highschool boy turns down an offer like that?

Zoi: Forget it! I’m saving myself!

Demande: For what? A rainy day? Look outside.

Zoi: No… for… my boyfriend! He’s big and he’s buff and he’d kick both of our asses if he knew I came in here with you!

Demande: [chuckles] Oh, come on. You don’t have a boyfriend. I see how the others look at you.

Zoi: How do the others look at me?

Demande: Like you don’t have a boyfriend.

Zoi: Um…they… don’t know about him… he’s still in the closet!

Demande: Really? Why isn’t he here?

Zoi: He…couldn’t make it…

Demande: Right. So you’re dating some closeted homosexual, who is extremely violent and jealous, and you haven’t put out for him yet, but he’s not over here keeping an eye on you. That makes no sense. Unless… [worried frown] It’s not one of the O’Sama boys, is it?

[Zoi gasps involuntarily and breaks into a sweat.]

Demande: It is, isn’t it! I knew it! You’re dating Jeddy O’Sama! [laughs] You know, I always did have my suspicions about that guy, after all, he’s being chased around by a hot piece like Thetis and he seems to care not at all.

Zoi: Um…right… so, uh, you’re not going to tell anyone, are you?

Demande: Oh, course not. [sighs] Oh, for heaven’s sakes. That explains why my powers of mind control don’t work on you. You should have said that to begin with. [opens the door and ushers Zoi through] We’d better head back.

[Zoi wastes no time in getting out the door while Demande follows after him.] 

Demande: And to think, I nearly bagged one of the OSama boy’s kills. Not that he’d be able to do anything about it, but still. No sense in poking at a caged grizzly. You do know they’re Shitennou, don’t you?

Zoi: Um… no. I don’t even know what that means.

Demande: Demons. Demigods. Energy vampires. I’m not even sure exactly, but one thing I do know. It means that if he ever gets around to tapping it, you’re probably not going to survive the ride.


	19. Strange Dreams

[Scene:  Blackmoon Manor.  Zoi emerges from the passage and his friends watch as he keeps walking toward the front door.

Zoi:  We’re leaving!

Mamoru:  What happened?

[Zoi looks at the sea of faces, the Blackmoon’s outnumbering the non-Blackmoons by about fifteen to one.]

Zoi:  Nothing…nothing at all.  [but shoots Mamoru a look to indicate he’ll tell them in the van.]

Demande:  [Beckons with one finger] Come on, Saffir.  I guess today is your lucky day.

[Saffir rises from his ottoman and scampers into the passage]

Demande:  Oh, and Rubeus, be sure to throw all the gatecrashers out and tell them not to come back until their friend develops some manners.

[There are a few moans and mutters of protest as the gang leave the manor.  Fortunately, the rain has slowed to a light drizzle.  Once the gang pushes the van out of the mud, Zoi climbs into the back, ignoring Motoki and Usagi’s invitations to ride shotgun.]

Umino:  So what happened back there?

[Zoi waits until they are a good distance from the manor before answering.]

Zoi:  Don’t ever go in the grotto.

Minako:  Why?

Zoi:  It’s not a nice place.

Minako: But one of my very best friends told me it’s fantastic.

Zoi:  Your friend probably got drugged.

[Everyone but Motoki stares at Zoi.]

Usagi:  …Are you saying he tried something with you?

Zoi:  Yes.

[Everyone is thrown forward as Motoki slams on the brakes.

Mamoru:  Turn the van around!  We’re going back there!

Zoi:  To do what?  There’s ten of us versus about one hundred and fifty of them.  And the biggest guy we have has a broken arm. If we go back there screaming for a fight, we’ll all be killed.

Usagi:  Fine, I’ll call the police.

Zoi:  And tell them what?  Nothing he did was technically illegal.  

Usagi:  Huh?

Zoi:  His father is a judge so he knows how to stay just two millimeters within the right side off the law.

Naru:  So he didn’t actually do anything?

Zoi:  He locked me in a room, and made it pretty clear what he wanted.  When I told him I wasn’t interested, he backed down….  Only he didn’t back down right away.

Motoki: Mamoru’s right. We need to go back there and do something.

Zoi:  Anything you do will just make things worse.  I wouldn’t have said anything, but you need to warn everyone you know not to go in there.

[Long silence]

Rei:  I think Zoi’s lying.

Zoi: Why would I lie about something like this?

Rei:  To get attention.

Zoi:  You think I don’t get enough attention already?

Minako:  I believe him.

[Zoi is taken aback since Minako is the last person he expect to stick up for him]

Minako:  I’ve been in the business long enough to know the truth when I hear it.  And I’ve been invited to enough business dinners with directors that turned out to have absolutely nothing to do with either business or dinner to kick myself for not seeing this coming.

Zoi: [smiles at her] Thanks.

Minako:  [pats his shoulder] No problem, squirt.

[Zoi returns home to an empty house since his dad is working.  He finds a German Techno CD his stepfather gave him for Christmas and cranks it up full blast.  He lies in bed and stares up at the ceiling.]

[Eventually he drifts off to sleep.  He dreams he has to run through a dark forest.  He’s not sure why.  Here is a strange glow approaching.  All he knows is that if he doesn’t escape whatever is glowing, he will be in terrible danger.]

As he circles away from the glow, Demande Blackmoon jumps out from behind a tree and grabs his wrist.]

Demande:  This way!  [He tries to pull Zoi deeper into the woods, away from the approaching glow.]

Zoi:  [struggling to free himself from Demande’s grasp] Let go of me, you pervert!

Demande:  Run, Zoi! He’s coming for you.  You have to run! He’ll destroy you!

Mamoru:  [From another direction] This way, Zoi!  

[Zoi looks and Mamoru is wearing a tuxedo and a white mask. He is still trying to free himself from Demande’s grip.  Demande is still trying to pull him into the woods.

[Zoi is overcome with rage.  There are long icicles that have formed in the trees around him and he snaps one off and uses it to stab Demande deep in the collarbone.  Demande releases Zoi, clutching his shoulder and screaming in agony, before falling to the ground where he lays twitching.  Zoi backs away, but he smiles and feels an odd thrill.]

Mamoru:  Zoi, run! It’s too late!  He’s here!

[Kunzite steps out of the trees.  He is wearing a military style uniform, with a fluttering cape.  His face is hidden in shadows but his hair is faintly glowing, his eyes shine white and dangerous.  He beckons for Zoi to come to him.]

Kunzite:  [smiles a demonic smile, revealing fangs] Trust me.

[His tone implies he shouldn’t be trusted at all, but Zoi runs toward Kunzite as fast as he can. As he runs, his clothing morphs into a military uniform, somewhat similar to what Kunzite is wearing, but without a cape, and with green piping instead of light blue.]

[Demande Blackmoon screams in terror]

Mamoru:  No!  [Pulls out a red rose and hurls it at Zoi.  Zoi stretches out his hand and the rose explodes like confetti in midair, showering the area in petals.]

[Zoi wakes with a gasp. He looks at the alarm clock.  It reads 5:30. Zoi turns on his side, puts a pillow over his head and tries to go back to sleep. ]

[Eventually he gives up and starts the shower on the absolute coldest setting.  Once he’s showered and dressed, he goes to his computer, brings up Google and types in a single word: Shitennou.]

[There’s a lot of links. Most of them horrifying.]

[But then he finds another link]

> ## The Four Heavenly Kings
> 
> They are the protectors of the world and fighters of evil, each able to command a legion of supernatural creatures to protect the dharma.

[Zoi smiles with relief. How evil could Kunzite be if he protects the teachings of Buddha? ]

[Assuming Demande Blackmoon wasn’t just feeding him a bunch of bull, which is the most probable explanation.]

[His father still isn’t back, so he sits on the back porch with a bowl or cereal.]

Zoi:  [Looks up at the blue sky] Clouds, snow, hot, cold, rain, sun:  I give up.

[After he eats he surveys the forest that surrounds the back of the house.  He sees a path that looks similar to the start of the path he saw in his dream and decides to follow it.  

The more he walks the more familiar the trail becomes. When he reaches the spot where Kunzite appeared, he looks around but doesn’t see anything but forest.  The area feels empty.]

Zoi:  Kunzite?

[Nothing]

[No sign of him.  Not even a trace he was ever there.]

[Zoi realizes he’s being foolish.  He turns around and goes home.]

 


	20. Blue skies

[Monday. Zoi has arrived early so he is sitting at a bench outside the classroom.  The sky is still blue and the sun is beating down on him.  Normally he likes that, but today he just finds it unsettling. Mamoru comes and sits next to Zoi.]

Mamoru:  Hey, Zoi.

Zoi:  Hey, Mamoru.

[A breeze has blown a lock of Zoi’s hair across his eyes.  Mamoru catches it and tucks it back behind his ear]

Mamoru:  I’ve never noticed how your hair glows.  It’s like copper wire.

Zoi:  Only in the sun.

Mamoru:  Great day isn’t it?

Zoi:  My kind of day.

Mamoru: What did you do yesterday?

Zoi:  I mostly worked on my English essay.

Mamoru:  Oh yeah–that’s due Thursday, isn’t it.

Zoi:  Wednesday, I think.

Mamoru:  Wednesday?  That’s not good….What are you writing yours on?

Zoi:  Homophobia and sexism in pop culture, specifically how commonly female characters in non-romance genres serve only to prove that the male characters are not gay.

Mamoru: Huh… I guess I’d better get to work on that tonight.  I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out.

Zoi: [frowns] Really, Mamoru?

Mamoru:  Well, we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later.

Zoi:  Mamoru…I don’t think that would be a very good idea.

Mamoru: Why?

Zoi:  I am not really in a dating mood right now.  And besides, [looks around and lowers his voice] I think that would hurt Usagi’s feelings.

Mamoru:  [startled] Usagi?

Zoi: Really, Mamoru? Are you that blind?

Mamoru:  Usagi hates me.

Zoi:  She asked you to the dance, didn’t she?

Mamoru:  She said it was because Motoki couldn’t make it, and she wouldn’t be caught dead with me otherwise.

Zoi:  Gee, I wonder why?  You think it might have anything to do with how you act like a complete and utter jerk whenever she’s nearby?

Mamoru:  Yeah, well–

Zoi: Have you ever smiled at her?  Or paid her a compliment? Or said anything kind to her at all?  Or are you too worried she’ll break your heart if you give her an opportunity to reject you for no reason at all?

Mamoru: …oh. [ponders this carefully]

Zoi:  [gathers his books] It’s time for class.

[Lunch. Zoi is walking with Umino to the cafeteria.  Zoi has mixed emotions, not only about seeing Kunzite, but all the O’Sama’s for that matter, in light of his recent Google research.  The closer he get the cafeteria, the more his fear intensifies.   Would they be able to smell his fear, he wonders.   What if Kunzite wanted him to come sit with him again?]

[Zoi and Umino enter the cafeteria and Zoi feels a shiver of panic when he sees the O’Sama table is completely empty.  He scans the cafeteria to see if they changed tables but there is no sign of them anywhere. Zoi feels desolate.]

Mamoru:  [Slides in next to Usagi, who is slicing Motoki’s food for him]  Hello, Usagi, you’re looking lovely this morning.

Usagi:  [suspicious] What’s that supposed to be mean?

Mamoru:  It means you look pretty.  Not that you don’t always look pretty, but I thought it bore mentioning.

Usagi:  You’re being weird.  What brought this on?

Mamoru:  Oh, nothing.  I realize I’ve been acting like a complete jerk and I’ve decided to grow up a little.  I’m really looking forward to the dance next weekend.

Usagi: Really?  

Mamoru: [nods]  Don’t you dare dance with anyone else.  I’m sure all the other boys will die of jealousy when they see I’m with the prettiest girl there.

[Usagi smiles and gives Mamoru her complete attention, while Motoki is completely forgotten.]

[Zoi is feeling glum. He also has big plans for next Saturday, but the O’Sama family’s unexplained absence is causing him to worry. He sits with his friends and eats, taking comfort in the fact that Mamoru is actually being sweet to Usagi for once, and Usagi seems rather euphoric about it.  But his eyes keep searching for Kunzite, and Kunzite is nowhere to be found.]

Usagi:  …so Zoi, are you in?

Zoi:  Huh?  [wasn’t paying attention]

Usagi:  You’re going shopping with us tomorrow night, aren’t you? Naru’s mom is driving us and we’re going for Italian food afterwards.

Zoi:  [still not paying much attention] Sure.

Usagi:  Cool.

[Zoi goes to biology class and of course Kunzite’s seat remains empty. He wants to believe Kunzite’s simply late, but of course the whole family was missing at lunch, and Neffy’s seat remains empty as well.  He’s getting no sense of their presence. He’s starting to think they’ve left town, and he worries they might not be back.]

[That night Zoi’s dad is working and he’s channel surfing during dinner to take his mind off his loneliness.  He flips through a bunch of channels, but then hears the name Kunzite in passing so he surfs back a few channels.]

TV:  –always an attractive option, if you’re looking for something regal and exotic, nothing beats the rare and lustrous beauty of Kunzite.

Zoi:  That’s for sure.

TV: However, it is a notorious hard gem to work with.  All though they are as hard as quartz, the crystals are extremely brittle, which makes Kunzite incredibly fragile.  Not only that, the color will it fade in the sunlight. Gemcutters need to be very careful during the faceting process since they’ve been known to completely fall to pieces if the wrong type of pressure is applied.

[Zoi turns off the TV. He doesn’t want to hear that sort of thing.]


	21. Man’s inhumanity to man

[Scene:  the drive to school.  The sky is blue but the clouds are starting to roll in again.  Zoi wasn’t certain how he should dress so he wore a tee-shirt under his one thick jacket.]

Zoi:  You’ve been working a lot of hours lately, dad.  I hardly ever see you anymore.

Chief Midori:  I’ve been busy.  There is a hate group coming into town today.  They call themselves the Defenders of Morality.  They hold their annual meeting here.  

Zoi: The Defenders of Morality?

Chief Midori: They pretend they promote family values, but really it’s about inflicting great bodily harm on anyone who doesn’t fit their standard of decency.

Zoi:  And what is their standard of decency?

Chief Midori:  Let’s just say they probably get calls from the Taliban advising them to tone it down a little.  

Zoi:  That bad?

Chief Midori:  Last year they beat up six kids your age: three girls in miniskirts, one girl in spaghetti straps, and two sixteen year old boys who were walking together.  They weren’t gay, mind you.  They were just walking together.  And by beat up, I mean put in the hospital with broken bones and internal injuries.

Zoi: [shudders] Geez!

Chief Midori:  I really have to find these guys and lock them up for the good of mankind. To be honest, I’ve been really worried about leaving you home alone.  Those monsters would take one look at that Lady Godiva hair of yours and… [shudders]  I want you to promise that when you go downtown tonight you won’t wander off, or allow any of the girls wander away from the group.

Zoi:  Wait…what?  Who said anything about me going downtown tonight?

Chief Midori:  [confused]  Naru’s mother.  She said you’re going to help the girls pick out dresses for the big dance this weekend.  

Zoi:  Huh?  Why would I want to do something like that?  

Chief Midori:  You know, giving them constructive criticism…

Zoi:  That sounds like the worst hell on earth!  Why would I agree to go dress shopping?  I’m not even going to the dance, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t wear a dress.

Chief Midori: According to Naru’s mother, you agreed to go along with Naru and Usagi. You’re meeting up with the rest of the gang at a boutique and she’s going to take you out for Italian food in that same strip mall afterwards.

Zoi: …? [groans with his face in his palm]  Oh, that’s right.  I did agree to go shopping with them.

Chief Midori:  Then what are you complaining about?

Zoi:  [face still in his palm] I wasn’t paying close enough attention to realize what I was getting myself into.

Chief Midori:  As someone who was married for nearly ten years, let me give you a bit of friendly advice: never agree to something just to trick a girl into thinking you’re paying attention.  It always ends up like this.  

Zoi:  Thanks dad.

Chief Midori:  Promise me you’ll keep an eye on those girls, and you won’t go wandering off by yourself.

Zoi:  Sure dad.  No problem.

[Later at the strip mall. Usagi, Naru, Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako are all trying on formal dresses.  Zoi sitting on a chair with a pile of purses on his lap and waiting for the nightmare to end.  He’s in a really foul mood, especially, since Kunzite and his siblings weren’t in school again.  It’s cloudy, but not cold, so Zoi has left his jacket in the car.]

Usagi:  [admiring a pink prom dress in a threeway mirror] So what are the dances like in Arizona?

Zoi: I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been to one.

Usagi:  Never?

Naru:  [in a teal dress] Didn’t you ever go with a boyfriend or something?

Zoi:  I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything close.  I didn’t go out much.

Makoto: [also in pink] Why not?

Zoi:  Well for one thing, nobody asked me out.

Usagi:  Huh?

Zoi:  My dating pool is quite a bit smaller than yours, and Arizona is a red state after all.  

Ami: [in blue] Lots of boys ask you out here.

Usagi:  And you keep telling them no.

Rei: [in red] And you don’t go around asking out other boys.

Minako:  [in orange] Except for Motoki.

Zoi:  Excuse me?  What did you say?

[The girls all look at him]

Minako: Motoki told Usagi he has to take you to prom.

Zoi: [in stunned disbelief] He said what?

Rei:  Ha. [slaps Usagi’s arm] I told you Motoki was full of it.

Usagi:  A few days ago, I asked Motoki if he’d go to the prom with me, and he said he’d already agreed to take you instead.  He said you came up to him asked him if he would go to the prom with you, since you didn’t want to show up without a date, and he felt he had to say yes, since he almost killed you with his van.

Zoi:  I think I need to hit him with a truck.  Just so we can say we’re even.

Rei:  If that’s why he’s really doing this.  I think he’s secretly gay.

Makoto:  You think all the men are secretly gay.

Rei:  Has it ever been disproven?

[Minako approaches Zoi with a green dress with gold beads and sequins]

Minako:  Seriously, Zoi.  You have to try this on.

Zoi:  Get that thing away from me.

Rei:  Wait [pulls a tube of lipstick from her purse] I’ve got just the shade of lipstick to go with it.

[Rei turns to reveal it’s cherry red and Zoi slaps it out of her hand]

Rei:  Hey!  That was Dior!

Zoi:  It’s still Dior. Only now with extra lint.

Minako:  Don’t be grumpy, Zoi.  I’ll help you find shoes.  What size do you wear?

Zoi:  Extra wide.  Just like your ass.

[Minako drops the dress and flees into the fitting room.

Rei:  [laughs]  Oh, she’s going to need some ointment for that burn!

[A short time later, several of the girls have made their selections and are being rung up. Naru sits by Zoi and tries on a pair of heels]

Zoi:  Naru?

Naru:  Yes?

Zoi:  [tries to sound casual] Is it normal for… the O’Sama’s to be out of school a lot?

Naru:  Yes, I think Metalia has some sort of ‘Doctors without Borders’ thing going, so when the weather is good, she tends to pack up her kids and leave town without notice.

Zoi: Oh.

Ami: [walks over with an armload of shopping bags]  There’s a bookstore nearby.  I want to check it out.

Zoi:  I’d better come with you.  [partly because of his father’s warnings and partly out of desperation to escape the boutique]  

Makoto:  Me too. This isn’t a good neighborhood.

Naru:  I’ll come too.

Usagi:  Not me. I’m starving. I’ll meet you back at the restaurant.

[Rei and Minako decide to stay behind as well]

[The rest of the gang walk toward the bookstore, but it quickly becomes clear this isn’t what they are looking for.  The sign says ‘XXX Adults Only’ and the men passing in and out don’t look all that literate.]

Makoto:  Ick. Let’s head back.

[The others nod, but then Zoi catches a glimpse of a black convertible Maserati in the Trader Joe’s parking lot a few blocks away. His heart skips a beat.]

Zoi:  [under his breath] You son of a bitch.  [After all, what are the odds of there being two black convertible Maserati’s in a town the size of Hen Tie?]

Ami:  What was that, Zoi?

Zoi:  Nothing.  You girls head back.  I’ll catch up with you at the restaurant.

[Zoi breaks into a sprint. The car is a few blocks away and he wants to catch up with Kunzite before he has a chance to drive off. He’s in such a rush he accidently bumps the arm of one of a group of middle aged men in polyester suits and slicked back hair.]

Zoi:  Sorry.

[The ringleader takes a halfstep toward him.  Zoi instinctively backs away and the others laugh and circle around him.  He shivers.   It’s getting dark and he doesn’t know his way around. He’s cold since his jacket is in Naru’s mother’s car and the men are all giving him menacing looks. Zoi turns to walk away, but a couple of the men block his path.]

Ringleader:  Hey, boys, it looks like we caught ourselves a goldfish.

[By now, it’s pretty obvious to Zoi he is in serious trouble.  The only path open to him is a long blind alleyway filled with feral cats and chainlink fences topped with barbed wire between warehouses with large bay doors padlocked for the night.  If he retreats that way he’s certain he’ll be badly hurt, and possibly killed, but there is nowhere else for him to go]

[Then a glimmer of hope appears as a small door opens at the end of the alley as a little old lady in hair rollers, a bathrobe and slippers puts out a dish of milk and pours out a bowl of cat food. ]

[Zoi smiles triumphantly at the gang of thugs and races into the alley toward the open door.]

[The woman is finished pouring out the cat food and is turning back to the door.  Zoi shouts to get her attention.]

Zoi:  Wait!

[The woman sees Zoi running, and the men lurking behind him, and bolts inside. Shutting Zoi out.]

[For a moment Zoi just stands there, staring incredulously at the closed door.  He tries the door but of course it’s locked.]

Zoi:  Are you kidding me?

[Zoi beats and kicks the door, screaming out a stream of profanity and death threats.  Not just at the old lady but also at the twenty cats he imagines she has living with her]

[The men enter the alley slowly]

Thug:  Should we go get him?

Ringleader: Let’s let him tire himself out first.

[A shadow falls across the alley and the men turn to see a man with silvery hair, dusky skin, startlingly light blue eyes, and a long coat standing at the mouth of the alley.  He is looking fairly angry.]

Ringleader:  Beat it.  This is a private party.

Kunzite: In that case you shouldn’t have invited my boyfriend.

Ringleader: Your boyfriend? What are you, some kind of queer?

Kunzite: *nods*

Ringleader: I don’t know who you are, boy, but this is going to be your last day on earth.

Kunzite: [A pair of energy blades appear in his hands] Funny.  I was about to say the same to you.


	22. Sometimes a breadstick is just a breadstick

[scene: the alleyway. Zoi is still trying to get the door open, but his legs are giving out as he’s starting to realize he’s completely doomed. He feels a figure approaching and mentally prepares himself for the worst.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite.

[Zoi turns, afraid to trust his ears.  Kunzite is standing behind him, his face a mask of pure fury. But Zoi is so overwrought he runs at him, and grabs hold of his coat.]

Zoi:  [bursts into tears] Where have you been!  You can’t just leave like that and not tell anyone where you are going!

[Kunzite just stands there, completely at a loss.  Then he puts his arm behind Zoi’s back and pulls him closer, but his face is still grave and his eyes are still blazing silver.]

[Zoi finishes crying then looks up at Kunzite.]

Zoi: Are you ok?

Kunzite:  No.

[Zoi just stands there and looks up at him with concern]

Kunzite:  Zoisite.

Zoi:  Yes?

Kunzite: Are you alright?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite:  Distract me, please.

Zoi:  I’m sorry, what?

Kunzite: Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down.

Zoi: Um, I need to borrow a truck so I can use it to run down Motoki.

Kunzite:  Why?

Zoi:  He’s telling everyone he’s my date for prom, and he’s claiming he has to do it because he almost killed me with his van. I figure if I run over him with a truck, it should make everything right again, in one way or another… Better?

Kunzite: Not really.

[Kunzite closes his eyes and just stands there.]

Zoi:  What’s wrong?

Kunzite:  Sometimes I have a problem with my temper.  But I’ve gotten rid of the creatures that wanted to hurt you and that should be enough. At least that what I’m trying to tell myself.

Zoi:  Oh.  

[Zoi hazards a peek down the alley.  Sure enough, there is no sign of the men who were harassing him.  Just a scattering of ashes and a smell like burnt porkchops. Kunzite takes hold of his face and makes him look away.]

Kunzite:  Your friends must be getting worried. Come on.

Zoi:  Where are we going?

Kunzite:  I’m taking you to dinner.

[They leave the alley and walk toward the restaurant, but Zoi breaks into a run when he sees Naru and Usagi milling around aimlessly, windowshopping in their skimpy outfits, not paying much attention to their surroundings.]

Zoi:  Oh, no.  Usagi! Naru! We’d better catch up with them before those homicidal maniacs do.

[The girls turn and come running with pronounced relief on their faces, but it turns to surprise when they see he’s with Kunzite.]

Usagi:  [looks worried sick]  Where have you been?

Zoi:  Um…I got lost.  And then I ran into Kunzite.

Kunzite:  Would it be alright if I joined you?

Usagi:  Er…sure.

Naru:  Actually, Zoi, we already ate while we were waiting. Sorry.

Zoi:  I wasn’t gone for very long.

Naru:  You have to eat fast whenever Usagi is around.

Zoi:  [smiles] That’s fine, I’m not hungry.

Kunzite:  I think you should eat something.  Do you mind if I drive Zoisite home tonight?  That way you don’t have to wait around while he eats.

Naru:  Uh, no problem, I guess…  [gives Zoi a questioning look to make sure he’s alright with this arrangement.]

[Zoi winks at her]

Usagi: [gets a pervy look on her face as she grabs Naru’s arm and pulls her away] Ok, see you tomorrow. Zoi… Kunzite.

[Zoi watches as they go off together to the car.  They wave goodbye and Zoi waves back.]

Zoi:  [To Kunzite] Honestly.  I’m not hungry.

Kunzite:  Humor me.

[Kunzite brings Zoi into the restaurant.  The hostess is checking out Kunzite.]

Hostess:  A table for two?

[She gathers up a couple of menus and leads them to a large booth along the far wall where most of the patrons are dining. Zoi is about to sit but Kunzite shakes his head.]

Kunzite:  Perhaps something more private?

Hostess: [surprised] Sure.  Leads them to a café table with a white linen tablecloth and a rose in the bud vase.]  How’s this?

Kunzite: [smiles] Perfect.

Hostess:  Um, your server will be right out.

[They sit and Zoi watches her leave]

Zoi:  You shouldn’t do that to people. It’s hardly fair.

Kunzite: What?

Zoi:  Dazzle them like that.  She’s probably hyperventilating in the kitchen.

[Kunzite has no idea what he means]

Zoi:  Oh, come on, you have to know the effect you have on people.

Kunzite:  I dazzle people?

Zoi:  You haven’t noticed?  Do you think everyone gets their way this easily?

Kunzite:  Do I dazzle you?

Zoi:  Frequently.

Mimete: [To Kunzite] Hello, my name is Mimete and I’ll be your server tonight.  What can I get you to drink?

[Kunzite looks at Zoi]

Zoi:  I’ll have an ice tea?

Kunzite:  Two ice teas.

Mimete:  I’ll be right back with that.

[Kunzite stares at Zoi]

Zoi:  what?

Kunzite: How are you feeling?

Zoi:  I’m fine.

Kunzite:  You don’t feel sick, dizzy, cold…?

Zoi:  Should I?

Kunzite: [smiles] Actually, I’m waiting for you to go into shock.

Zoi:  I don’t think that will happen.  I’ve always been good at putting a harness on my terror. Whenever I get really scared I tend to make the adrenaline work to my advantage.

Kunzite:  Just the same, I’ll feel better when you have some food in you.

[The waitress reappears with the drinks and a basket of breadsticks]

Mimete:  [To Kunzite] Are you ready to order?

Kunzite:  Zoisite?

[Opens the menu and looks at the daily special]

Zoi:  I’ll have the Fettuccine Alfredo.

Kunzite:  I’ll have the wild mushroom ravioli with grilled lobster claw.

Zoi: That does sound good.

Kunzite:  Change his order.  We’ll both have that.

Mimete:  It’s be right out.  [Leaves]

Kunzite: Drink.

[Zoi sips on his ice tea, until it is finished, then Kunzite pushes the second glass toward him.]

Zoi:  Thanks.  [shivers]

Kunzite:  Are you cold?

Zoi:  It’s just the drink.

Kunzite:  Don’t you have a jacket?

Zoi: Yes…Oh, I left it in Naru’s mother’s car.

[Kunzite takes off his coat, leaving him in his partially unbuttoned shirt underneath. Zoi can’t help but ogle his chest a bit as Kunzite hands him the coat.]

Zoi:  Thanks.  [He pulls his arms into the coat, which fits him like a cloak, of course.  The coat smells like Kunzite.]

Kunzite:  You look good in black.   It brings out the radiant color of your hair and eyes.

[Zoi looks down and blushes]

[Kunzite pushes the basket of breadsticks to him]

Zoi:  Really.  I’m not going into shock.

Kunzite:  You should.  A normal person would.  You don’t even look shaken.

Zoi:  I feel very safe with you.

Kunzite: [frowns] This is more complicated than I’d planned.

[Zoi picks up a breadstick and nibbles on the end.]

Zoi:  Usually you’re in a better mood when your eyes are lighter.

Kunite:  What?

Zoi:  You’re always crabbier when your eyes are blue.  I have a theory about that.

Kunzite:  More theories?

Zoi:  Mm-hm.  [chews on the breadstick]

Kunzite: I hope you’re more creative this time, or are you still stealing from comic books?

Zoi:  Well no, I didn’t get it from a comic book, but I didn’t come up with it on my own either.

Kunzite: And?

Mimete: [places the dishes in front of them] Can I get you anything else?

Kunzite:  A coffee.  Black.  And more ice tea would be nice.

Mimete: Sure. [leaves]

Kunzite:  You were saying?

Zoi: I’ll tell you in the car.  If…

Kunzite:  There are conditions?

Zoi:  I do have a few questions, of course.

Kunzite:  Of course.

[Mimete brings the drinks and leaves again]

Kunzite:  [picks up his coffee] Well go ahead.

Zoi:  Question one. Why are you in Downtown Hen Tie?

Kunzite:  Next.

Zoi:  But that’s the easiest one.

Kunzite:  Next.

[Zoi looks away from Kunzite and eats for a while.]

Zoi:  Hypothetically speaking, is mind control possible, and could someone be immune to it?

Kunzite:  You’re speaking hypothetically?

Zoi:  What do you think?

Kunzite:  It would be an awfully strange coincidence if you were.

[They sit in silence]

Zoi: You can trust me, you know. [Touches the back of Kunzite’s hand with his fingertip, but Kunzite moves his hand away.]

Kunzite:  I don’t know that I have a choice anymore.  I underestimated you.  You’re far more observant than I could have anticipated.

Zoi:  I thought you were always right?

Kunzite:  I used to be.  I was wrong about you on one other thing as well.   I used to think you were a magnet for trouble.  Now I see you are a magnet for evil.  If there is anything evil in a ten mile radius it will invariably find you.

Zoi:  And you put yourself in that category?

Kunzite:  Unequivocally.

[Zoi touches the back of Kunzite’s hand with his fingertip.  Kunzite moves his hand away.]

Zoi:  That’s twice now.

Kunzite:  Let’s not try for three, okay?

[Zoi frowns, and looks away, crestfallen.  They eat in silence for a while. Then Kunzite shrugs and smiles.]

Kunzite:  [Leans forward] I came to Downtown Hen Tie to look for you.  I’ve never wanted to keep anyone alive before. I never thought it would be this much trouble. But it’s probably just because it’s you.

Zoi: Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and you’ve been interfering with fate?  

Kunzite:  That wasn’t the first time.  Your number was up the moment I saw you.

[Zoi goes white in the face]

Kunzite:  You remember?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite:  And yet here you sit.

Zoi: Yes, here I sit. Because of you…because you decided to come looking for me today.

[Kunzite stares at Zoi with no expression on his face.  Eventually Zoi looks away and finishes his dinner in silence]

Kunzite:  Are you ready to go home?

Zoi:  I’m ready to leave.

Mimete:  [To Kunzite] How are we doing?

Kunzite: We’re ready for the check, thank you.

Mimete: Sure.  Here you go.

Kunzite:  [Hands her a bill without taking his eyes off Zoi.]  No change.

Mimete:  You have a nice evening.

[Kunzite walks out, standing very close to Zoi, without looking in her direction.]


	23. Outed

[Scene:  Kunzite’s car.  Kunzite’s driving, Zoi is inhaling Kunzite’s coat when Kunzite is not looking.]

Zoi:  How does it work, the mind control thing?  Can you control anyone’s mind, anywhere?  How do you do it?  Can the rest of your family—

Kunzite:  You ask a lot of questions.

[Zoi waits]

Kunzite:  Mind control is simple.  Humans are incredibly easy to manipulate.  Just look at anything insanely popular and you’ll see there is not much too it, other than mankind’s unwillingness to be left out of the herd.

Zoi: Why doesn’t it work on me?

Kunzite:  I don’t know. The only guess I have is that your mind doesn’t work way the rest of theirs do.  Like your thoughts are on AM and it only works on FM.

Zoi:  My mind doesn’t work right?  I’m a freak?

Kunzite:  [narrows his eyes at him] I’m able to control most people like they are puppets and you are worried that  _you’re_ the freak?  Don’t worry, it’s just a theory.

Zoi:  [looks at the speedometer]  Geez! Slow down!

Kunzite: [without slowing down]  What’s wrong.

Zoi: You’re going 100 mph!

Kunzite: [runs a red light] Relax, Zoisite.

Zoi:  *shrieks* Are you trying to kill us?

Kunzite:  We’re not going to crash.

Zoi:  Why are you in such a hurry?

Kunzite: [smiles at him] I always drive like this.

Zoi:  Keep your eyes on the road!

Kunzite:  I’ve never been in an accident, Zoisite.

Zoi:  I’m more afraid we’ll get pulled over!

Kunzite: [grins] You’re afraid I’ll get a ticket?  

Zoi:  I’m afraid that if my dad catches us together like this I’ll be grounded until I’m 90!

Kunzite: [frowns slows down to 80 mph] Happy?

Zoi:  Almost.

Kunzite:  I hate driving slow.

Zoi:  This is slow?

Kunzite:  enough on the commentary on my driving.  I’m still waiting for your latest theory.

Zoi: …

Kunzite:  I won’t laugh.

Zoi:  I’m more afraid you’ll be angry with me.

Kunzite:  Is it that bad?

Zoi:  Pretty much, yeah.

Kunzite: Go ahead.

Zoi:  [sighs] I don’t know how to start.

Kunzite: Why don’t you start at the beginning.  You said you didn’t come up with this on your own.

Zoi: No.

Kunzite: What got you started?  A book, a movie?

Zoi:  No it was Saturday, at the beach. I got stranded with an old friend of yours—Demande Blackmoon.

[Kunzite gives Zoi a confused look]

Zoi:  We had to take shelter from a storm.  He told me some stories, trying to scare me, I think.  He told me one…

Kunzite:  Go on.

Zoi: …about the Shitennou.

Kunzite: [grips the wheel] And you immediately thought about me?

Zoi: No.  He…mentioned your family.

[Kunzite just stares at the road ahead of him in silence.

Zoi:  I think he intended to wipe all memories of that conversation from my mind afterward.  He didn’t know his powers wouldn’t work on me.  Otherwise I don’t think I could have tricked it out of him.

Kunzite:  [laughs] Tricked him how?

Zoi:  I tried flirting.  It worked a little better than I thought.

Kunzite:  I would have liked to have seen that.  And you accuse me of dazzling people.  Poor Demande Blackmoon.  What did you do then?

Zoi:  I did some research on the Internet.

Kunzite:  [casual in tone] And did that convince you?

Zoi: [notices that although Kunzite appears to be calm, his hands are clamped into the steering wheel] No.  Nothing fit.  Most of it was kind of silly. And then…

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  I decided it didn’t matter.

Kunzite: [loses his composure] It didn’t matter?

Zoi: No. It doesn’t matter to me what you are.

Kunzite: [appalled] You don’t care if I’m a monster?  If I’m not human?

Zoi: No.

[Kunzite’s face is bleak and cold]

Zoi:  You’re angry. I shouldn’t have said anything.

Kunzite:  No.  I’d rather know what you’re thinking.  Even if what you’re thinking is insane.

Zoi:  So I’m wrong again?

Kunzite:  No, that’s not what I’m referring to:  “It doesn’t matter”!

Zoi:  So I’m right?

Kunzite: Does it matter?

Zoi:  [takes a deep breath] Not really.  But I am curious.

Kunzite: What are you curious about.

Zoi:  How old are you?

Kunzite:  According to my driver’s license I’m eighteen.

Zoi:  And how long have you been eighteen?

Kunzite:  A while.

Zoi:  Ok…do you sleep?

Kunzite:  When I want to…

Zoi:  In a bed?

Kunzite: You’re not asking me the more important question.

Zoi: Which one is that?

Kunzite:  Aren’t you concerned about my diet?

Zoi:  Oh, that.  Well, Demande mentioned something about that…

Kunzite:  What did he say?

Zoi:  He said it would be fatal… for me… to get too close to you.

[Kunzite stares ahead]

Zoi: Is he right?

Kunzite:  The Blackmoons have a long memory.

Zoi:  I take it that’s a yes?

Kunzite: [shakes his head] No. But that doesn’t mean you can let your guard down around me.

Zoi: I don’t understand.

Kunzite:  It’s a mistake for you to allow yourself to be alone with me.

Zoi:  This…is a mistake?

Kunzite:  A very dangerous one.

[They ride in silence, then Zoi looks at Kunzite]

Zoi:  Tell me more.

Kunzite:  What more do you want to know?

Zoi:  Do you go around killing people?

Kunzite: Not often. Only because in these days of video and mass media we’re trying to keep from attracting attention.  It’s easier for us to sponge energy from a roomful of living hosts. It’s never enough, but it keeps the evil impulses at bay. Most of the time.

Zoi: Is it difficult now?

Kunzite: Yes.

Zoi:  But you’re not hungry now.

Kunzite:  Why do you say that?

Zoi: Because your eyes are silver. I told you I have a theory. I notice people are crabbier when they hungry.

Kunzite:  You are observant, aren’t you?

Zoi:  You were feeding this weekend?  Weren’t you?

Kunzite:  No.  I was off fighting a war.  I fed when I got back.  I wanted to see you, but it’s a lot easier being around you when I’m not hungry.

Zoi: Why did you want to see me?

Kunzite: It makes me…anxious…to be away from you.  I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you.  And after what happened tonight, I was surprised you made it through the weekend, unmolested.

Zoi: …

Kunzite: It was a really long three days.  Nephrite knew it and he was really getting on my nerves.  We just got back this morning.

Zoi:  [remember the clouds rolling in and Naru’s words about their frequent absences] So let me guess, your mother has to leave town whenever the sun comes out.

Kunzite:  You have it backwards. The sun only comes out whenever my mother is not in town.

[Zoi ponders this]

Zoi:  You might have called me when you were away.

Kunzite: I knew you were alive.

Zoi: But I didn’t know you were!  I…

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  I didn’t like it.  Not seeing you.  It makes me anxious too!  [blushes]

[Kunzite looks at him with a pained expression on his face.]

Kunzite:  Ah, this is wrong.

Zoi:  What did I say?

Kunzite:  Don’t you see, Zoisite. It’s one thing for me to make myself so miserable, but it’s quite another for you to be so involved.  I don’t want to hear that you feel that way.  It’s wrong.  It’s not safe. I’m dangerous, Zoisite, please grasp that.

Zoi: No!

Kunzite: I’m serious.

Zoi:  So am I.  It doesn’t matter what you are.  It’s too late!

Kunzite: Never say that.

[Zoi closes his eyes as his tears begin to fall.]

Kunzite:  Are you crying?

Zoi: [sniffles] No.

[Kunzite reaches over to wipe his face, but stops himself just in time]

[They arrive at Zoi’s house. The lights are on inside.  Kunzite stops the car but then doesn’t move.]

Zoi:  Will I see you tomorrow?

Kunzite:  [smiles] I’ll save you a seat at lunch.

[Zoi smiles as he takes off Kunzite’s coat]

Kunzite:  you can keep it.  You don’t have a jacket for tomorrow.

Zoi:  [hands him the coat]  I don’t want to have to explain it to my father.

Kunzite: [smiles and takes the coat]  Oh, right.

[Zoi opens the door slowly, trying to prolong the moment]

Kunzite:  Zoisite.

Zoi:  Yes?

Kunzite:  Will you promise me something?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite:  Don’t go into the woods alone.  I’m not the only dangerous thing out there.

Zoi: Whatever you say.

Kunzite:  See you tomorrow.

Zoi: [sighs] Tomorrow then.

Kunzite: Zoisite? [leans close with his face very close to Zoi’s and strokes his hair and whispers]  Sleep well.

[Zoi blinks, thoroughly dazed. Kunzite leans away.  Zoi staggers from the car and he thinks he hears Kunzite chuckling.  Kunzite waits until Zoi is inside before driving away.]


	24. Inquiring Minds Want to Know

[scene:  The Midori household.  Chief Midori is watching the game while Zoi comes in, slightly dazed.]

Chief Midori: Zoi?

Zoi:  Yeah, dad, it’s me.

Chief Midori:  You’re home early.

Zoi:  I am?

Chief Midori:  It’s not even nine yet.  Did you and the girls have fun?

Zoi: [still dazed] Yeah—it was a lot of fun looking at dresses.

Chief Midori: [concerned because he doesn’t detect any sarcasm]  Are you alright?

Zoi:  I’m just tired.  I did a lot of walking.

Chief Midori:  Well, maybe you should go lie down.

Zoi:  I’m just going to call Naru first.

Chief Midori:  Weren’t you just with her?

Zoi:  Yes, but I left my jacket in her mother’s car.  I want to make sure she brings it tomorrow.

Chief Midori:  Give them a chance to get home first.

Zoi:  Right.

[He jumps as his phone rings]

Zoi:  Hello?

Naru: Zoi?

Zoi:  Hey, I was just getting ready to call you.

Naru:  You made it home?

Zoi:  You sound surprised.  

Naru:  We just got back ourselves.  How did you have time to eat?

Zoi: [remembers Kunzite’s crazy driving]  I left my jacket in your mother’s car. Could you bring it to me tomorrow?

Naru: Sure—

Usagi:  [replaces Naru’s voice on the phone]  Oh, my god. Tell us what happened with you and Kunzite!

Zoi:  Um… tomorrow, ok?

Usagi:  Oh, is your dad there?

Zoi:  Yeah, that’s right.

Usagi:  Ok…talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

Zoi:  Bye, Usagi.

[The next morning, it’s icy cold outside.  Zoi dresses and looks for his jacket, then remembers he doesn’t have it.  He puts on a sweater and his army jacket and hopes it’s enough.  He walks downstairs.]

Zoi:  Dad?  [He searches but it’s clear his father has already left for work.  He figures he’ll have to hurry to catch the bus.]

[He goes outside and Kunzite is standing in the driveway, with his arms crossed, leaning against his Maserati]

Kunzite:  You father got called away, so I agreed to give you a ride to school this morning.

Zoi:  [narrows his eyes] Mr. Overprotective asked the king of the badboys to drive me to school in his fancy new sportcar?  

[Kunzite smiles and nods]

Zoi: You messed with his mind, didn’t you?

Kunzite:  I see you’re finally coming to your senses.

Zoi:  [sad] I just don’t want anyone messing up my dad.

Kunzite:  Fine.  It won’t happen again.  [Takes off his coat and holds it out to Zoi.]  Here, I don’t want you to get sick or something.

Zoi:  I’m not quite that delicate.  [puts on the coat anyway]

Kunzite:   Aren’t you?

[They get in the car and for a while they travel in silence as Kunzite drives to school and Zoi sniffs his coat.]

Kunzite:  What? No twenty questions today?

Zoi: Don’t my questions bother you?

Kunzite:  Not as much as your reactions do.

Zoi: Do I react that badly?

Kunzite:  No, that’s the problem.  You’re taking all this a bit too well.

[They drive to school and Kunzite pulls into the lot next to a red Ferrari.]

Zoi:  Whose is this?

Kunzite:  Nephrite’s.  Ostentatious isn’t it?

[They get out and meet at the front of the car.]

Zoi:  Shouldn’t you be trying to blend in?

Kunzite:  We all like to drive fast.

Zoi:  Figures.

[Behind them Usagi rises behind a park bench, staring back and forth from Zoi to Kunzite.  She tried to duck before they see her but she’s not fast enough.  Over her arm is Zoi’s jacket.]

Kunzite:  [polite] Good morning, Usagi.

Usagi:  Er…hi.  [stares at how Kunzite’s coat hangs on Zoi’s tiny frame]  We saw you from the bus stop and Naru wanted me to give you this…[holds out the jacket]… I guess I’ll you see you in class?

Zoi:  [Takes his jacket]  Yeah, I’ll see you then.

[Usagi ducks back down behind the bench and tiptoes away]

Zoi:  [Removes Kunzite’s coat and replaces it with his own jacket] Great, now the whole school is going to want to know what’s going on between the two of us.

Kunzite:  So what are you going to tell them?

Zoi:  I could use a little help.  I don’t know what’s really going on, so if you don’t give me something plausible, everyone is just going to assume that you’re gay and that we are secretly dating.

Kunzite:  Hmmm… I suppose you can tell them I am, and we are. [catches a stray lock of Zoi’s hair and tucks it back into place] That is, if you don’t mind.

Zoi:  [Weak in the knees] I don’t mind.

Kunzite:  [smiles and walks away] I’ll see you at lunch.

[Zoi turns and notices several people are staring at him.  He blushes deep red and walks to class.]

[Later, after class, Usagi and her girlfriends mob Zoi in the hall.]

Usagi:  Tell us everything!

Zoi:  [mortified] What do you want to know.

Rei:  What happened last night?

Zoi:  He bought me dinner and then he took me home.

Rei:  And to think, this whole time Minako’s been barking up the wrong tree.

Minako: [smiles and nods] Well if I can’t have him, I’m glad he’s with one of my very best friends, so we all mack on him vicariously.

Naru:  How did you get home so fast?

Zoi:  He drives like a maniac.  It was terrifying.

Rei: Was it like a date? Did you tell him to meet you there?

Zoi:  No – I was very surprised to see him there.

Minako:  [dubious]  But he drove you to school today?

Zoi:  Yes – that was a surprise, too.  He noticed I didn’t have a jacket last night.

Minako:  Right.  He meets you for dinner last night…

Rei: …and you show up for school the next morning in his car, wearing his coat.  

Minako:  You know what that looks like don’t you?

Zoi:  Um…no.

Rei:  It looks like *someone* didn’t make it back to his own bed last night.

Minako and Rei:  [sing] Walk of shame, walk of shame.

Zoi:  [appalled] No… it’s not like that.                                                    

Minako:  Did he kiss you?

Zoi:  [annoyed] No.

Usagi:  Are you going out again?

Zoi:  He’s giving me a lift to Seattle next Saturday so I don’t have to take a bus.  Does that count?

Minako:  [starry eyed]  Oh, yes.

Zoi:  Well, then yes.

*SQUEEEEEEE!*

Minako:  Do you think, this Saturday…?  

Zoi:  …What?

[Minako and Rei hold hands, put their faces close together and make kissing sounds]

Zoi:  [frowns] I really doubt it.

Usagi: What did you talk about?

Zoi:  I don’t know.  A lot of stuff.

Minako:  [whimpers and clutches her books]  Please, Zoi.  This is Kunzite we’re talking about.  I need details!

Zoi:  [catty] Well, you should have seen the waitress flirting with him. It was over the top.  But he didn’t pay attention to her at all.

Usagi:  That’s a good sign.  Was she pretty?

Zoi:  Very.  And probably nineteen or twenty.

Usagi:  Even better.  He must like you.

Zoi:  I hope so, but it’s hard to tell.  He’s so cryptic.

Naru: [mumbles] I don’t see how you’re brave enough to be alone with him.

Zoi:  Huh? Why?

Naru:  He’s so…intimidating.  I wouldn’t know what to say to him.

Zoi:  [nods] I do have a problem staying coherent around him.

Minako:  Well, duh!  He is unbelievably gorgeous!

Zoi: [sighs] There’s more to him than that.

Minako:  Huh?  What more can there be?

Zoi:  I don’t know how to explain it… but he’s even more incredible than he looks.

Minako:  Is that even possible?

Usagi:  [Gives Zoi a come hither look] So you like him, huh?

Zoi:  Yes.

Usagi:  I mean you really, really like him.

Zoi: [blushing] yes.

Usagi:  [pervy faced] How much do you like him?

Zoi: [looks down] Too much. More than he likes me.

[The girls sigh sadly and give him wistful looks as they all break off to go to class]

 


	25. A change of plans

[Scene: French class. Zoi is watching the clock, counting the minutes to lunch.]

Umino: [wistful] You’re not sitting with us today, are you?

Zoi:  I don’t think so.

[The bell ring and Kunzite is waiting outside, leaning against the wall.  Umino rolls his eyes.]

Umino:  Catch you later, Zoi.  

[Zoi waves and Umino takes off]

Kunzite:  Hello.

Zoi:  Hi.  

[For a moment they just stand there, holding their books and staring into each others eyes.  Then Kunzite leads Zoi to the cafeteria.  As soon as they get there, everyone turns and stares.]

[They sit at a table and Kunzite places two bento boxes on the table, seemingly out of nowhere.]

Kunzite:  So the waitress was pretty, huh?

Zoi:  You really didn’t notice?

Kunzite:  I wasn’t looking at the waitress.

Zoi: Poor girl.

[Zoi eats his bento with a smile, but then notices Kunzite is giving him a troubled look]

Kunzite:  Something you told Usagi… well, it bothers me.  Do you truly believe you care more for me than I care for you?

Zoi:  Yes, I really think that.

Kunzite:  You’re wrong.

[Zoi puts down his chopsticks]

Zoi:  You can’t know that.

Kunzite:  What makes you think I don’t care more than you do?

Zoi:  Well aside from the obvious, sometimes…I get the sense you are always trying to say goodbye to me.

Kunzite: Perceptive.  That’s exactly why you are wrong, though. [Give Zoi a piercing look] What do you mean by “the obvious”?

Zoi:  Well look at me.  I’m pathetic.  My skin is pasty, my hair is unmanageable, I have no discernible muscle definition…. And look at you…  [Waves his hand in Kunzite’s direction]  I still can’t understand why you waste your time with me.

Kunzite:  You don’t see yourself very clearly, you know.  You are the most beautiful thing to walk the earth in over fifty thousand years.

Zoi:  [blushes and averts his eyes] I don’t believe it…

Kunzite:  Trust me just this once.  You are the opposite of pathetic.

Zoi:  [frowns] But I’m not the one saying goodbye.

Kunzite:  Don’t you see, that proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it—if leaving is the right thing to do, then I hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.

Zoi: And you don’t think I would do the same?

Kunzite:  You’d never have to make the choice.  [smiles]  Of course, keeping you safe is starting to feel like a full time job that requires my constant presence.

Zoi:  [grins] No one has tried to kill me today.

Kunzite:  Yet.

Zoi:  [nods] Yet.

Kunzite:  I have another question for you.  Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get away from all your admirers?

[Zoi’s grin widens.]

Zoi:  You were there, what do you think?

Kunzite:  [give him a coy smile] If I’d asked you, would you have turned *me* down?

Zoi:  Probably not.  But I would have cancelled later.  Faked an illness or a sprained ankle or something.

Kunzite: Why would you do that?

Zoi:  You’ve never seen me in gym class, I guess.  Let’s just say I’m not much of a dancer.

Kunzite:  That wouldn’t be a problem.  It’s all about who leads.  

[Zoi blushes again]

Kunzite:  But you never told me, are you resolved on going to Seattle, or would you mind doing something different.

Zoi:  I’m open to alternatives.

Kunzite:  I’m thinking we might go hiking…to somewhere a bit more private.

Kunzite: Is it someplace far away and secluded?

Kunzite:  Oh, yes.

Zoi:  Then I do have a really big favor to ask.

Kunzite:  Which is?

Zoi:  I need to drive us there.

Kunzite:   [taken aback] Huh?

Zoi:  I have my permit.

Kunzite: [still taken aback] Why do you need to drive us there?

Zoi:  Because I promised my father I’d never let an older guy drive me out to a secluded spot.

Kunzite: …

Zoi:  And also because your driving frightens me.

Kunzite:  Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.  [shakes his head]  Don’t you want to tell your father you’re spending the day with me?

Zoi:  With my dad, less is always more.  Where are we going, anyway?

Kunzite: Someplace where the weather is nice, and where we can stay out of the public eye.

Zoi:  You mean I’ll get to bask in the sun?

Kunzite:  Yes. That’s the whole idea. But…if you don’t want to be alone with me, I’d rather you didn’t go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size.

Zoi:  Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle, just in terms of population.   In physical size—

Kunzite:  Yes, but your number wasn’t up in Phoenix.  So I’d rather you stayed near me.

Zoi:  As it happens, I don’t mind being alone with you.

Kunzite:  I know.  [sighs] You should tell your father, though.

Zoi:  Why in the world would I do that?

Kunzite:  [narrows his eyes] To give me some small incentive to bring you back.

Zoi:  [goes pale] I…think I’ll take my chances.

[Kunzite looks angry]

Zoi:  Let’s talk about something else.

Kunzite:  Like what?

Zoi:  You said you were off fighting a war this weekend. You mean like with the IRS?

Kunzite:  Something a little scarier than the IRS.

Zoi:  I hear there is nothing scarier than the IRS.

Kunzite:  You’ve never seen me fight.

Zoi: [smiles] You fight like a bear?

Kunzite:  Jadeite fights like a bear, I’m more like a lion. Or so they tell me.  A lion that uses weapons.

Zoi:  [smiles] Is that something I’ll get to see.

Kunzite:  Absolutely not!

Zoi:  Too scary for me?

Kunzite:  If it were that, I’d take you out tonight.  You could use a healthy dose of fear.  Nothing could be more beneficial for you.

Zoi:  Then why?

Kunzite:  [rises from his chair]  Later, we’re going to be late.

[Looks around the cafeteria and sees it is indeed clearing out]

Zoi:  Later, then…I won’t forget.


	26. Tuxedo Trashtalker

[Scene: biology class. Zoi and Kunzite take their seats, but instead of scooting his chair away, Kunzite is sitting so close to Zoi their arms are touching.  Neffy takes note of this and chuckles under his breath.]

Mr. Tomoe:  For the rest of the week we’ll be watching a video. Can someone get the lights please?

[The lights go off and the room is plunged into pitch darkness, except for a small area illuminated by the video screen.  Some of the students use the cover of darkness to catch up on their sleep.]

[Zoi can’t sleep, of course, since he’s hyper aware of Kunzite’s skin brushing against his.  It’s filling the air with electricity, which only intensifies as Kunzite presses closer to him.  Zoi crosses his arms over his chest to resist the urge to reach out and touch Kunzite’s thigh.]

[The opening credits appear in white.  Zoi uses the scant amount of light to stare at Kunzite’s face, and he sees Kunzite is already staring right at him.  Zoi looks away quickly and Kunzite smiles fondly.  Zoi bites his finger since he’s afraid the other kids in the class can hear his rapid breathing.  The impulse to touch Kunzite is maddening.  Then he fights a gasp as he feels Kunzite’s hand on his knee.]

[He can’t see anything, but he still has the sense that Kunzite is still smiling at him.]

[A few minutes into the video, Kunzite removes his hand from Zoi’s knee, and wraps his arms around Zoi’s waist and pulls him closer, tucking Zoi against the hollow at the side of his body.

[Zoi nestles there with his eyes closed and his hand on Kunzite’s chest, while Kunzite strokes his hair. If Zoi was paying any attention to the video up until this point, it doesn’t matter since he has forgotten there even is a video, and he has no idea what it is about.]

[Zoi spends most of the video tucked up against Kunzite.  Kunzite releases him five minutes before the end of the class to give Zoi a chance to regain his composure before the lights come back on. When they do, Neffy is staring right at Zoi and Kunzite.]

Neffy:  Well, that was interesting.  In a sickening sort of way.

Mr. Tomoe:  Neffy, perhaps you’d like to enlighten the rest of the class as to what you found so objectionable about the presentation?

Neffy: [scoffs] You don’t even want to know.

[The class files out but Zoi remains in his seat.]

Kunzite: [stands and holds out his hand to Zoi] Shall we?

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  Class is over.

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  It’s time for you to go to gym class.

Zoi: [dazed]  Oh. Right. Gym class.

[Zoi rises from his chair and walks out of the room like a sleepwalker, with Kunzite at his side. Kunzite escorts him all the way to the gym]

[Kunzite stands outside the entrance with him, holding his hand, and then brushes the length of Zoi’s cheekbone with his fingertips before walking away.]

[Zoi walks into the locker room, all lightheaded and wobbly.]

[A short time later… the boys in Zoi’s gym class are sitting in the bleachers.]

Boys’ Coach:  We’re going to do something a little different today. We’re going to have a little tournament. Two on two.  Basketball.  The winners each get these tiny plastic trophies and a twenty dollar gift card for food and drinks at the Crown Center Café.

Mamoru:  [To Zoi] I need to win that.  I’m taking Usagi out to the Crown after the dance, and that girl knows how to put away food.

Zoi: Huh?

Mamoru:  [Looks at Zoi’s blank expression] Are you ok?

Umino:  I think his brain is busted.

Boys’ coach:  Just to keep things interesting, let’s start with the weakest link and work our way up.  Zoi Midori.  Get over here.

[Zoi rises like a zombie and the coach hands him a ball.  Zoi looks at it like he’s never seen one before.]

Boys’ coach:  Zoi, pick a teammate.

[Almost all of the other boys scoot back, but Zoi doesn’t seem to notice.  He just stands there staring down at the ball in a daze. Mamoru rises.]

Umino: [whispers] I thought you said you needed to win?

Mamoru:  [whispers back] Who said anything about not winning?  

[Mamoru walks over and stands next to Zoi.  Comprehension slowly dawns on Zoi.]

Zoi:  You don’t have to do this, you know.

Mamoru: Don’t worry. I’ll keep out of your way.

[The whistle blows and the first match starts.  The other team is no challenge for Mamoru, but since Zoi has no athletic ability, all he manages to do is trip and bang the top of his head into the pole for the hoop the first time Mamoru passes the ball to him.]

Zoi:  [lying on the floor] Ow.  

Mamoru:   [puts his hands on his knees and looks down at him] Are you ok?

Zoi:  Sure.  [At least the pain has focused his thoughts again.]

[Mamoru stretches out his hand to help Zoi up and then walks him to the edge of the court.]

Mamoru:  Why don’t you stand here and let me take care of this?

[Zoi watches with admiration as Mamoru blazes down the court, singlehandedly taking down team after team.  At first it’s easy, but the more athletic boys know he’ll be fatigued by the time their turn comes.  However, Mamoru, is still going strong up until the end, sinking shots from both close and far and banking the ball against the walls when blocked to compensate for his lack of help from Zoi.  Never the less, when they are declared the winning team, he comes over and gives Zoi a high five.]

[As they stay behind to collect their prizes, Zoi has a newfound admiration for Mamoru.  Zoi hands his gift certificate over to Mamoru, since after all, he did nothing to earn it. Mamoru makes a halfhearted attempt to hand it back, but ends up keeping it.]

[They walk over to the locker room and change back into their street clothes.]

Mamoru:  So.  You and Kunzite, huh?

[Zoi’s mood sours at the bitterness in Mamoru’s voice.]

Mamoru:  I don’t like it.

Zoi:  [tartly] You don’t have to like it.

Mamoru:  Yes, well as your friend I have a right to be concerned.  He doesn’t strike me as the type who fully grasps the idea of mutual consent.

Zoi:  [giggles at the contrast between the seriousness of Mamoru’s tone vs. the absurdity of what he’s saying] Oh, for heaven’s sakes.  

Mamoru:  He’s probably plotting your date rape as we speak.

Zoi: [aghast] I hate to burst your bubble, but I’ve been in a dark alley with him, and nothing happened.

Mamoru:  Yet. I don’t like the way he keeps staring at you.  He looks at you like…like you’re something good to eat.

[Zoi bursts into a fit of giggles]

Mamrou:  Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?  You won’t think it’s funny when he has you tied up in his basement.

[Zoi laughs harder]

Mamoru: Seriously, as soon as you go home, you should go on the internet and see if he’s registered as a sex offender somewhere.

Zoi:  [Wipes tears of mirth from his eyes]  Ok, seriously. Enough about me.  How are things going with you and Usagi?

Mamoru:  Don’t change the subject! I’m trying to hold an intervention here!

[Zoi doubles over with laughter]

Zoi:  Please, I can’t finish getting dressed unless you stop making me laugh like this.

Mamoru:  Fine, it’s your life, but when you’re in the crisis center don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Zoi:  [Finishes dressing and closes his locker]   I’ll see you tomorrow.

Mamoru:  [pessimistic] I certainly hope so.

[Zoi bursts into laughter again and waves goodbye to Mamoru as he leaves the gym.  Then laughs harder when he sees Kunzite in the parking lot. His laughter stops when he sees Kunzite looking at Mamoru like he wants to murder him.]

[Kunzite and Mamoru stare each other down before Mamoru walks away.]

Zoi:  Hi.

Kunzite:  [still looking at Mamoru] Hello.  How was gym class?

Zoi:  Fine.

Kunzite:  Really?  [Zoi follows Kunzite’s gaze and sees Mamoru is still watching them from a distance. Mamoru turns and walks away. Kunzite continues to stare with a look of pure hate.]

Zoi:  What?

Kunzite:  Chiba is really getting on my nerves.

[Zoi thinks it’s an odd coincidence that Kunzite is so upset with Mamoru after all the things Mamoru just said.]  

[Then it occurs to him it might not be a coincidence at all.]

Zoi:  You were spying on me, weren’t you?

Kunzite:  [smiles at him] How is your head?

Zoi: [gasps] You’re unbelievable!  

[Zoi shakes his head in disgust and walks off in a huff] .

 


	27. Shocking admissions

[Zoi storms across the parking lot with his arms crossed and his nose in the air. Kunzite easily keeps up with Zoi.]

Zoi:  Go away. I don’t like you anymore.

Kunzite:  What?  [grins with feigned innocence]  You were the one who mentioned how I’d never seen you in gym class.

Zoi: [snarls] What you just did was ten different types of wrong!

Kunzite: [still grins] Are you angry at me?

Zoi:  Definitely!

Kunzite:  Will you forgive me if I apologize?

Zoi:  Maybe… if you mean it.  And if you promise not to do it again!

[Zoi looks to Kunzite for an apology, but Kunzite just smiles wolfishly. Zoi gasps and walks faster.]

Kunzite:  [sighs sadly]  I’m very sorry I upset you…but in terms of invading your privacy…I’ve already done far worse.

Zoi:  [stops, wide-eyed]  You’ve seen me naked?

Kunzite: Certainly not. That would be torture.  But I’ve done something just as bad, if not worse.

Zoi:  I can’t even begin to imagine…

Kunzite:  I’ve been inside your bedroom.

Zoi:  Oh?  [cringes as he tries to remember the state and quantity of socks and underwear on his floor] Why?  

Kunzite:  [lowers his eyes sheepishly] I used to come up to your bed and watch you while you were sleeping.

Zoi:  [smiles] Ah. Actually, that’s kinda sweet.

Kunzite:  No it isn’t.  It appears you have a very erotic dreamlife.

Zoi:  [turns red]  I talk in my sleep?

Kunzite:  [nods vigorously]  You do more than talk.

Zoi:  [mortified]  Oh dear.  [walks in a daze]

Kunzite: I liked to watch. It took all my willpower to keep my hands off you when you were like that… Are you starting to comprehend what a monster I am?

[Zoi ponders this]

Zoi:  But you did keep your hands off me.

Kunzite:  [narrows his eyes] Really, Zoisite?  You think I deserve credit for that?

[Zoi thinks of what he would do if the situation were reversed, and fights to hide his smile as he climbs into Kunzite’s car.  Kunzite seems a little taken aback, but climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the car.]

Zoi: You said you were going to tell me why I can’t watch you fight.

Kunzite:  I tend to get carried away with bloodlust.  The very thought of you being there… while I’m fighting…

Zoi:  That would be bad?

Kunzite: Extremely.  I get to the point where I can’t tell friend from foe.

Zoi:  But you said you fight alongside your siblings.

Kunzite:  Your point being?

Zoi:  If what you said is true, wouldn’t that be dangerous for them?

Kunzite:  [ponders this]  They’re still alive, aren’t they?

Zoi:  So you trust them to take care of themselves?

Kunzite:  [shrugs] Honestly, I never gave it much thought.  If something happens, it happens. [grins]  Mother would be upset, of course, but it’s not like I’d do anything to them on purpose.

Zoi:  [knowing Neffy as he does, he nods with sympathy]  Sometimes I’m glad I’m an only child.

[Kunzite pulls up outside Zoi’s house.  Zoi just sits there and looks at him.]  

Kunzite: I think you’d better go inside.

Zoi:  Oh right.

Kunzite:  And Zoisite.  [smiles] Next time it’s my turn to ask the questions.


	28. Foreboding

[Scene:  The breakfast table at the Midori household.  Chief Midori is having fried eggs.  Zoi is eating a bowl of cereal.]

Chief Midori:  About this Saturday…

Zoi:  Yes, Dad?

Chief Midori:  Are you still going to Seattle?

Zoi:  [munches his cereal] That was the plan.

Chief Midori:  And you’re sure you can’t make it back in time for the dance?

Zoi:  [glares] I’m not going to the dance, Dad.

Chief Midori:  Didn’t anyone ask you?

Zoi:  It’s ladies’ choice.

Chief Midori: Oh.  Maybe if you asked Mamoru Chiba… He likes you, you know.  He’s a good kid and people tell me he goes around talking about how great you are.

Zoi:  Dad. No.  He’s taking my friend Usagi.

Chief Midori:  Ok, just trying to help.

[Leaves for work.  Zoi leaves when he hears Kunzite pull up]

Kunzite:  Good morning, how are you today?

Zoi:  Good, thank you.

Kunzite:  You look tired.

Zoi:  I couldn’t sleep.

Kunzite:    Me neither.

[Zoi gets in the car]

Zoi:  So what did you do last night?

Kunzite:  Not a chance.  It’s my turn to ask the questions.

Zoi:  Oh, that’s right. What do you want to know?

Kunzite:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Zoi:  [ponders this]  A botanist, I suppose.

Kunzite:  Why a botanist?

Zoi:  I like flowers.  They are my favorite thing in the world.

Kunzite:  What sorts of flowers.

Zoi:  All sorts of flowers.

Kunzite:  What’s your favorite color?

Zoi:  It varies from day to day.

Kunzite:  What’s your favorite color today?

Zoi:  [looks at Kunzite’s eyes]  Silver, with just a hint of blue.

Kunzite:  I don’t think there are any flowers that color.

Zoi: [smiles as he toys with a lock of his own hair]  Are you thinking of bringing me flowers?

Kunzite:  [smiles back] You’ll see.  What’s your favorite color of flowers?

Zoi:  I’ll take whatever I can get.

[The questions continue throughout the day (favorite foods, favorite movies, favorite travel destinations, favorite types of architecture, what he misses about Phoenix, etc…) until biology class starts.  Zoisite blushes as he sees Mr. Tomoe load the DVD.]

Mr. Tomoe:  Can someone get the lights?

Neffy:  [groans] Not this again.

[No sooner do the lights go off then Kunzite pulls Zoi close again.  The proximity is making Zoi lightheaded and dizzy.  After a few minutes of this, he’s afraid he’s going to fall out of his chair.]  

[Kunzite seems to realize this since he turns and scoops up Zoi and places him across his lap and cuddles him in his arms like a baby.]

[Zoi’s grateful the room is pitch black.  His face is burning and he’s certain it’s completely scarlet.  He rests his face against Kunzite’s chest and Kunzite holds him in an embrace. Zoi can hear Kunzite’s heart  beating, slow and steady. He’s certain his own heart is racing. He feels a restless craving to caress Kunzite’s face, to pull it down for a long passionate kiss.  He only goes as far as nuzzling Kunzite’s chest with his cheek, and Kunzite strokes his curls and gives him a long, light kiss on the top of the head.]

[Zoi still has no idea what the video is about, but he hopes it will never end.]

[This time Kunzite gives Zoi twice as long to regain his composure, which Zoi finds mildly disappointing, yet completely necessary.  When the lights come on, Neffy is staring at them again.  Only now, as well as sickened, he’s slightly alarmed.]

Mr. Tomoe:  So, Neffy, is the presentation any more to your liking today?

Neffy:  [shaken] To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure what to make of it.

Mr. Tomoe:    How do you mean?

Neffy:  I…don’t get it.  I don’t get it at all.

[A few students chuckle nervously, since Neffy’s not known to be this dense.]

Mr. Tomoe:  If you can explain you confusion, perhaps we can enlighten you.

Neffy:  I’ve consulted the stars, and they tell me there’s a Greek tragedy in the making.  The lamb will slaughtered, the mighty will fall, hate conquers love, brothers will kill brothers, and all that good stuff. So much blood will be spilled it will form a river.  I thought some of it would be mine so I checked again and those same stars tell me this is a mild cautionary tale for me at and worst and a farcical comedy at best. Why?  I ask you.  What’s it all about?

Mr. Tomoe: Neffy, you’re not making any sense.  Do you need to see a nurse?

Neffy:  I don’t think a nurse is going to be much help at this point.

[Class is dismissed.]

Zoi:  [whispers to Kunzite] What was Neffy talking about?

Kunzite:  [shrugs] Who know?  Nephrite and his stars don’t know anything.  Otherwise, he’d be first among the kings, and I’ve have been dead a long time ago.

[Gym class goes too slowly. Mamoru initially seems happy to see Zoi, but then is cold toward him.  Zoi is a bit saddened by that, but mostly he looks forward to seeing Kunzite again.]

[On the car ride home, Kunzite asks more questions.  Finally he pulls up to the house and parks in a somewhat secluded spot surrounded by trees.  Kunzite gets out and comes around to open the car door for Zoi and hold him close.]

Zoi: Are you done with the questions.

Kunzite:  Not even close.  But you’d better go inside soon, unless you want to explain to your father you’ll be with me this Saturday.

Zoi:  Thanks but no thanks.  So it’s my turn to ask the questions tomorrow, then?

Kunzite:  Certainly not. I’m not done.

Zoi:  What more is there?

Kunzite: You’ll find out tomorrow.

[Kunzite tightens his arms around him, and Zoi’s heart is racing, especially as Kunzite leans closer, with his head tilted to one side.]

[Then his expression changes and he pulls away as if distracted by something approaching from behind them.]

Kunzite:  Not good.

Zoi:  What is?

[Kunzite’s jaw is tense, his eyes unsettled. Zoi is alarmed to see Kunzite so stressed.]

Kunzite: Another complication…I’m sorry to abandon you like this, but it’ll be a lot safer for you if I’m not here.

[With that Kunzite vanishes in a purple flash.  Zoi turns, but the car is no longer there.]

[There is a crunch of gravel as a white Bentley with tinted windows pulls up in the Midori driveway. Zoi has never seen that car before and wonders who would be visiting his father at such an hour in such a vehicle.   His heart catches in his chest as he drives side door opens and Demande Blackmoon exits the car, wearing a white suit and sunglasses.  He stares right at Zoi as he walks around to the passenger side door and opens it for a heavyset middle aged man with a crystal topped walking stick. This man also has a black moon on his forehead.]

Demande:  [sultry voiced] Hello, Zoi.


	29. Say it ain’t so

[Scene: Zoi enters the house. Demande Blackmoon is sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, drinking a glass of wine.  Chief Midori and the other man are sitting at the dining table drinking scotch and watching a game on the TV.  The heavyset man is smoking a cigar.  The TV is on too loud, way louder than Zoi is used to.]

Chief Midori:  [troubled]  Zoi, you’re home.

Zoi:  Yes. I do live here.

Chief Midori:  [He keeps his eyes fixed on the TV]  You probably don’t remember the Blackmoons, since the last time they were here you were still in diapers. This is the Honorable Judge Willem T. Blackmoon and his oldest son Demande.

Demande:  [smiles warmly at Zoi] We’ve had the pleasure.                             

Justice Blackmoon: [Rises and advances on Zoi with his arms outstretched]  Is that little Zoi-zoi?  My, you’ve gotten big since last time I saw you.  Come over here and give your Uncle Billy a hug.  [Zoi shrieks as his behind is pinched]   Ummm… now there’s a fine set of southern hemispheres you’ve got there. [pats Zoi’s bottom]  I take it one of your ancestors spiked some premium African rum into the old Midori punchbowl?

Demande: Oh, behave yourself, you old perv. [To Zoi]  Honestly.  I can’t take him anywhere anymore.  I think it’s the Alzheimer’s.

[Zoi’s father has kept his eyes on the TV the whole time.  It appears he saw nothing, but he is looking oddly apprehensive.]

Chief Midori:  Zoi why don’t you go in the kitchen and fix dinner. [To the Blackmoons] Are you hungry?

Demande: We ate just before we came here.

Zoi:  [Isn’t hungry either] How about you, Dad?

Chief Midori:  Sure.

[Zoi goes into the kitchen. He wants to hide in his room as soon as he can, so decides to make his father a grilled cheese sandwich. He gets out some bread, cheese, butter and a tomato.  As he slices up the tomato, a pair of hands appear on either side of him on the counter.

Demande:  So how are things?

Zoi:  Pretty good.  Seeing as how you’re about to back away because I’ve got a knife in my hand.

Demande:  [smiles and moves to Zoi’s side]  Oh, don’t be like that.  I missed you, you know.  When my father told me he was coming over here, I was anxious to see you again.

Zoi:  I can’t see why.  I think I’ve made it clear you don’t interest me in the slightest.

Demande:  You’re different.  A novelty. I like that about you.  Do you have any idea how tedious it is having to screw the same forty people over and over again?

Zoi:  You realize normal people don’t have those problems, don’t you?

Demande: [sniffs Zoi’s hair] So how about it?  Want to sneak up to your room and play seven minutes in heaven?

Zoi:  [Gives Demande a dirty look before he goes to the cabinet for the panini press]  Forget it. I’ve got a boyfriend.  And unlike you, I’m the type that mates for life.

Demande:  I understand. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just send me some nude selfies and I’ll take it from there.

Zoi:  I see you get your charm from your father.  I guess the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

[For a moment Demande just stands there and watches Zoi make sandwiches]

Demande:  Your boyfriend has a nice car.  

Zoi: You saw it? 

Demande:  I saw everything.

[Zoi’s now worried about what the judge and his father are talking about in the living room.]

Demande: I thought you said you were dating Jeddy O’Sama?

Zoi:  I never said anything like that. You just assumed it.

Demande:  [Thinks about this]  True.  I’m glad to see you’re into the silver foxes.  Your boyfriend looks just like me.

Zoi:  He doesn’t look anything like you.  He’s regal and masculine.  You’re just a pig.

Demande: Oh, come. I could grow my hair out, put on a bit of spray tan, then we could double team you and you wouldn’t know who is coming and who’s going.  [Gives Zoi a threatening smile] Does your father know how much you like to make out with big gray-haired guys with sports cars?

Zoi:  Does your father know how much you like to talk about the planet Nemesis?

Demande: [smile vanishes] Did you just threaten me?

Zoi:  I don’t know. Under the wrong circumstances I might be, but I’m guessing we both know how to keep our mouths shut.

Demande:  …

Zoi:  Could you hand me a plate?  They are in the cupboard over the sink.

Demande:  [gets Zoi a plate] So, who is he?

Zoi: [Taken aback] …You don’t know.

Demande:  I told you.  I don’t come into town much.  I just know he’s not Jeddy O’Sama, since my cousin Em tells me Jeddy has short blond hair.

[Zoi doesn’t know what to say.  On the one hand, he wants to lie.  On the other hand, Kunzite’s looks are distinctive enough that Demande will uncover the truth soon enough.  Zoi decides the only safe course of action is to simply not answer.]

Zoi:  I’d better bring my dad his sandwich before it gets cold.

[Demande follow Zoi into the living room as he carries out the food to his father.  Chief Zoi is counting out money in an envelope filled with cash.]

Zoi:  [Sets down the plate to keep from dropping it] Dad?

[When Chief Midori sees Zoi he goes red in the face and shoves the envelope into his pocket.]

Chief Midori:  Zoi, this isn’t what it looks like!

Zoi:  [stunned] What does it look like?

[Chief Midori slumps his shoulders and averts his eyes.  Justice Blackmoon gives Zoi an involuntarily outraged look, like he had just walked in on them in bed.]

[Zoi still has no idea what is happening, but he’s terrified.  He looks at Demande who pats him on the shoulder.]

Demande:  Don’t worry.  We aren’t buying you, if that’s what you are afraid of.

[Suddenly it all clicks: The too loud TV, his father not looking him in the eye, him sending Zoi to the kitchen, the envelope full of cash…]

Zoi:  [backs away]  No, you’re not buying me.  You’re just buying my dad.

Chief Midori:  [shamefaces]  Zoisite.

Zoi:  No, it’s ok, Dad…  I’m cool with it…  You just go on and collect all that money…  [raises his shaky fist to cheer] Hooray, Dad, way to build up my college fund.

[He turns and walks away. As soon as he’s out of sight he runs up to his room, pulls drawers from his dresser and hurls them across the room before he sink onto his bed, crying.]

[After a while his father comes in]

Chief Midori:  Zoi?

Zoi:  Go away!  I hate you!

Chief Midori:  There’s something you need to understand. Justice Blackmoon owns this city and everyone in it.  What good will it do if I arrest someone, when he has the power to just put them back on the street?  That money you saw, it’s just a formality.  It doesn’t change anything.  If I didn’t take his money, he would have gotten rid of me, and found someone who would. At least I can do some good here.

Zoi:  Is this why you became a cop in the first place?  To collect bribes and kickbacks?  How are you any better than the criminals you arrest?

[Chief Midori just stands there in silence.  Then he sighs.]

Chief Midori:  You’re right.  You’re absolutely right.  

Zoi:  How long as this been going on?

Chief Midori:  A long time.  A very long time. I’m going to give back all the money.

Zoi:  Are you out of your mind?  They’ll kill you! [Thinks about this] No, they still have a use for you. They’ll kill me!

Chief Midori:  So what should I do?

Zoi:  I don’t think you have much choice!  I guess you’ll have to remain a dirty cop until the day you retire!

Chief Midori:  [On the verge of tears]  I’m sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.  I don’t even remember what happened the first time. All I know is they came here once to talk to me and the next thing I know there was ten grand in my pocket.  I should have given it back.  I should have given it all back.

Zoi:  [remembers the mind tricks the people in the town play and how he’s the only one who seems unaffected.  He gets up and gives his father a hug.]  It’s okay, Dad.  It’s the way of the world.  I don’t really hate you.  I was just mad.  I’m over it now.

Chief Midori:  [hold his son close] No, it’s not okay.  How can you say that?

[Zoi smiles an evil smile, because from now on, his father has no right to expect him to be a good boy.]


	30. Alibis and Insecurities

[Scene:  Friday morning.  Zoi after a full night’s sleep, Zoi is in a good mood since his big date with Kunzite’s only a day away.  He rushes out the door as soon as he hears Kunzite drive up and gets in the car as quickly as he can so he can look at him.  Kunzite grins at him and Zoi’s breath catches in his throat.  Kunzite’s eyes are blue and he is more beautiful than an angel.]

Kunzite: How did you sleep?

Zoi:  Fine.  How was your night?

Kunzite:  Pleasant.

Zoi:  Can I ask what you did?

Kunzite:  No.  Today is still mine.  

Zoi:  Oh, right.

Kunzite: Tell me more about your mother.

Zoi:  [his mood sours a little]  Like what?  We’re not that close.

Kunzite:  You’re not that close to your own mother?  Didn’t she raise you for the last fifteen years?

Zoi:  Yes, but she’s always made me tell people I’m her brother because she doesn’t want anyone knowing she’s old enough to have a child my age.

Kunzite:  What are her hobbies?

Zoi:  Shopping…makeup…nail polish…travel…purses…botox…collagen…spa visits…cocktails…

Kunzite:  She sounds vapid.

Zoi:  Let’s just say she’s got about twenty eight by tens of herself hanging on the walls and about three pictures of me in little frames.

Kunzite:  What’s the best date you ever went on?

Zoi:  Does the dinner we had at the Italian restaurant count?

Kunzite:  No.

Zoi:  Then I’ve never been on a date.

Kunzite:  You’ve never been on a date?  Not even in Phoenix?

Zoi:  No.

Kunzite:  Wasn’t there anyone you liked?

Zoi:  Not in Phoenix.

[Kunzite drives in silence for a while]

Kunzite:  I’ve arranged for your father to pick you up today.

Zoi:  Why?

Kunzite:  Because I’m leaving with Beryl after lunch.

Zoi:  You won’t be in Biology class today?

Kunzite:  Let’s just say, there is not enough energy in all of Hen Tie for me to get through the rest of that video without doing something I’ll regret.

Zoi:  So where are you going?

Kunzite: Hunting.  Being this close to you and having to restrain myself makes me use up a lot of energy. The closer I get to you, the more I burn. If I’m going to be alone with you for hours on end tomorrow, I’m going to take whatever precautions I can.

Zoi:  Precautions against what?

[Kunzite gives Zoi a menacing look, which turns morose as he focuses on the road again.]

Kunzite:  You can always cancel you know.

Zoi:  No.  I can’t.

Kunzite:  [sighs] Perhaps you’re right.

Zoi:  What time will I see you tomorrow?

Kunzite:  That depends.  It’s Saturday.  Don’t you want to sleep in?

Zoi:  No.

[Kunzite grins]

Kunzite:  Same time as usual then. Will your father be there?

Zoi:  No, he’s going fishing tomorrow.

Kunzite: And if you don’t come home, what will he think?

Zoi:  I have no idea.  What are you hunting today?

Kunzite:  Whatever we happen to find.  Fortunately we won’t be anywhere near here.

Zoi:  Why are you going with Beryl?

Kunzite:  Beryl’s the most…supportive.

Zoi:  And the others?  What are they?

Kunzite:  Inept, for the most part.

[Thinks of the death stares the other O’Sama’s give him in the cafeteria]

Zoi:  They don’t like me.

Kunzite:  They’re confused by my feelings for you.

Zoi:  So am I, for that matter.

Kunzite:  I told you, you don’t see yourself clearly at all. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever known. You fascinate me.  On the one hand, they know they’ve finally found a weakness they can use against me….  On the other hand, it’s a double edged sword.

Zoi:  How so?

Kunzite:  I’m a dangerous animal to corner. There used to be four kings, you know. Until one of them gave me an excuse to kill him. Fortunately, the other two were just bright enough not to need a second lesson.

Zoi:  So they are afraid of you?

Kunzite:  Not only that, they’re worried that if I get carried away and… when… I take this too far, they’ll be… inconvenienced…

Zoi:  Inconvenienced?  

Kunzite:  You see…it will be inconvenient for more than just me after… having spent so much time with you… so publicly, things… end badly.

[Zoi looks at Kunzite, and is surprised to see Kunzite looking heartbroken and anguished.  Zoi reaches out his hand to comfort him, and Kunzite gives him a warning look, which softens into a fond smile at his touch.]

Kunzite:  You have no idea what you do to me.

[Kunzite drives in silence until they near the school parking lot.] 

Zoi:  Are we still having lunch together today?

Kunzite:  Most definitely.

[Zoi walks to homeroom and sits next to Umino]

Umino:  So, are you going to the dance with Kunzite tomorrow?

Zoi: No, I’m not going to the dance at all.

Umino:  What are you doing then?

Rei:  Get with the program.  Kunzite’s driving him to Seattle.  Some BFF you are, dork.

Umino:  [alarmed] Kunzite’s driving you all the way to Seattle? What’s going to happen if he starts having car trouble?

Rei:  [evil chuckle] I think we all know what’s going to happen to Zoi when Kunzite starts having car trouble. Am I right Usagi?

[Zoi turns and sees Usagi standing close by, with her hand to her ear.]

Usagi:  [sweating as she puts her arms behind her back and smiles innocently] What was that?  I wasn’t paying any attention.

[Zoi remembers Kunzite’s concern that something bad might happen and that he might get in trouble for it, so Zoi is regretting making their weekend plans such common knowledge.]

Zoi:  [sighs] Actually, Kunzite cancelled on me. We’re not going to Seattle, after all.  I have to study for trig or I’m going to fail.

Usagi:  Is Kunzite helping you study?

Zoi:  Kunzite isn’t helping me study.  He’s going away somewhere for the weekend.

Umino:  You know, you can come to the dance with me if you want. I don’t have a date either.  We could all hang out as a group – that would be cool.  [Looks around for Naru to try to get her to agree, but she’s back in her seat. He sighs.]

Zoi:  I’m not going to dance.

Umino:  Fine.  Just offering.

[At long last lunch rolls around.  Zoi sits down at his and Kunzite’s table but Kunzite is not there.  Zoi’s starting to feel jilted, but a minute or so later, Kunzite arrives.  He sits across from Zoi and pulls a couple of large foil wrapped paper plates from a bag. Zoi smells steak, lime, and cilantro.]

Zoi:  Is that what I think it is?

Kunzite:  Probably.

[Zoi tears away the foil to reveal a carne asada burrito with a side of Spanish rice and a side of refried beans topped with crumbled Mexican cheese.]

Zoi:  Where did you get this?

Kunzite:  Your favorite taco stand in Arizona.

Zoi:  When?

Kunzite: About two minutes ago.

Zoi:  Oh my god, I must be dreaming.  

[Zoi bites into the burrito and it’s still piping hot.  He savors the salty taste of marinated skirt steak and real guacamole. It seems like forever since he tasted anything that wonderful.]

Kunzite:  Sorry I’m late, but there was a line.

[Zoi puts it down after two bites and buries his face in his hands.]

Kunzite: Are you ok?

Zoi:  I’m…a little emotional right now.

Kunzite: [smiles]  If I knew it would have this effect on you, I would have shown up with a truckload of these last week.

[Near the end of lunch Beryl approaches and taps Kunzite on the shoulder with one of her long nails. Zoi has never seen her up close before and is awestruck the femme-fatale perfection of her blood red hair, her vamp makeup, her wasp-waisted hourglass figure, showcased to perfection in her skintight designer dress. ]

Beryl:  [Her bloodorange eyes gleaming with dismissive scorn at Zoi] Hello, Kunzite.  

Kunzite:  Beryl, Zoisite.  Zoisite, Beryl.

Beryl:  [ice cold] Hello Zoisite.  It is nice to finally meet you.

Zoi:  Hi, Beryl.  It’s just Zoi.

[But Beryl is no longer paying any attention to Zoi.]

Beryl:  Are you ready to go, Kunzite?

[Kunzite rises and Zoi can’t help but notice how perfect they look together.  They both look like supermodels: well over six feet tall, with idealized, statuesque builds, and striking coloration.  As he studies them, he realizes that to him, the two of them embody the ideal of male and female beauty. And he doesn’t look like either one of them.]

Zoi: Should I say “have fun” or is that wrong sentiment?

Kunzite: No, “have fun” works as well as anything.

Zoi: Have fun, then.

Kunzite:  I’ll try.  And you try to be safe, please.

Zoi:  Safe in Hen Tie, what a challenge.

Kunzite:  For you it’s a challenge.  Promise.

Zoi:  I promise I’ll try to stay safe.  I’ll do the laundry tonight.  That ought to be fraught with peril.

Kunzite:  Don’t fall in.

[Beryl laughs with cruel contempt.]

Zoi:  I’ll do my best.  See you tomorrow.

[Kunzite starts to walk away with Beryl, but notices the sorrow in Zoi’s eyes]

Kunzite:  It seems like a long time to you, doesn’t it?

[Zoi nods glumly]

Kunzite:  [brushes his cheekbone with his fingers]  I’ll be there in the morning.

[They walk away in perfect grace, with Beryl’s hand on Kunzite’s arm.  Zoi’s glad he finished his food already.  He feels bitter. He can’t shake the feeling that these two are more than brother and sister.  And if they aren’t, they should be.]

[When biology class rolls around, Zoi’s glad the room is pitch black.  Just so nobody can see how miserable he is.  In gym, Mamoru is talking to him again, and he finds he is grateful. He’s starting to wonder if maybe his father is on to something. After all, it makes a lot more sense for him to be with a kid like Mamoru than a handsome god like Kunzite.]

[Zoi waits until he’s in his father’s squad car before he bursts into tears.  Within a few seconds he’s wracked with gasping sobs.]

Chief Midori:  What’s wrong?  Why are you crying?

Zoi:  I’m crying because I look like a twelve year old girl!

Chief Midori:  No you don’t.  You look like an eighteen year old girl.  

Zoi:  *loud wailing sobs*

Chief Midori:  Boy!  I meant boy! You look like an eighteen year old boy!  Though if you wanted to look less like a girl you might think of chopping off that ponytail. Not a lot of boys have long gold tresses down to their waist.

Zoi:  That’s easy for you to say.  You’re not stick thin and you don’t have curls.  My hair grows up, not down.  If I cut my hair short, I’ll look like an orange lollipop.

Chief Midori: *laughs*

Zoi:  It’s not funny.

Chief Midori: It is. A little.

Zoi:  I’m never going to get a hot boyfriend.  I don’t have muscles, I don’t have breasts.  I look completely genderless.  What decent guy would want to go out with an “it” like me?

[Zoi continues crying. Chief Midori sighs.]

Chief Midori:  As your father, I hoped never to have this conversation with you, but you’re not an it.

Zoi:  I’m not?

Chief Midori:  You’ve got a lean, graceful, older adolescent swimmer’s body.  I think you’re what referred to in the gay vernacular as a “twink” which is probably the most sought after body type by gay men….

Zoi:  Really?

Chief Midori:  …and girls under the age of twenty.

Zoi:  [giggles] Who cares about them?

Chief Midori: Why do you think I have to keep you on such a short leash?  It’s not because I don’t trust you.  It’s the rest of this city I don’t trust.

Zoi:  Thanks Dad.

Chief Midori:  [Sighs] Feeling better?

Zoi:  *nods*  

Chief Midori: Good.  Let’s never have this talk again.

 


	31. Show me the magic

[Scene:  The day of Zoi’s date with Kunzite.  Zoi wakes. It’s still dark out, but he wonders if it’s close to 7:00.  He looks at the alarm clock.  It says 4:30.]  

[Close enough.  Zoi gets out of bed and gets ready.]

[He’s not sure what to wear, he knows he’s going hiking, allegedly someplace sunny, but it’s too early to tell what the weather is going to be like.  He finally decides on a pair of nice jeans, a tank top, and a long cottony sweater that falls to his hips.  He checks himself over from the front and the back to make sure he looks ok, before he goes downstairs.]

[Chief Midori is packing up his fishing gear.]

Chief Midori:  You’re up early.  Want a ride to the bus station?

Zoi:  I’m not going to Seattle.  I decided to wait until Umino can come with me.

Chief Midori:  Oh, okay.  Do you want me to stay home with you?

Zoi:  No, Dad, don’t change your plans. I’ve got a million things to do… homework, laundry…I need to go to the library and the grocery store. I’ll be in and out all day.  You have fun.

Chief Midori:  Are you sure?

Zoi:  Absolutely, Dad.

Chief Midori:  You sure are easy to live with.

Zoi:  I could say the same thing about you.

[Chief Midori leaves and Zoi drinks a cup of strong coffee so he can do the laundry and clean the house as quickly as he can, to make it look like he stayed home all day.  His mind vacillates between anticipation and terror at the thought of seeing Kunzite.  The more he thinks about it, the more he’s afraid he will lose his nerve when Kunzite shows up and hide until Kunzite leaves.  He keeps looking out the window to see if Kunzite will arrive early.]

[Then there is a knock on the door, and Zoi comes running.  His earlier anxiety completely forgotten.]

Kunzite:  Good morning.

Zoi:  Good morning.  

Kunzite: We match.

[Zoi sees Kunzite is also wearing jeans and a loose gray sweater.  Zoi slips out the door, locking it behind, and they walk to the car. Kunzite walks toward the driver side, but Zoi puts out at hand to stop him.]

Zoi:  We made a deal.

[Kunzite hands him the keys, and Zoi gets into the driver’s seat, while Kunzite gets in the passenger side. Zoi puts on his seatbelt, and Kunzite puts his on to, but with a bit of amusement.]

Zoi:  …How do I start this?

[Kunzite guides him through starting the car and putting it in reverse. Then demonstrates the patience of a saint as it rolls down the driveway.]

Zoi:  [staring straight ahead] Where to?

Kunzite:  Turn left…. Now keep going straight…You know, the speed limit is thirty five.

Zoi:  [afraid to take his eyes off the road] How fast am I going?

Kunzite:  Seven.

Zoi:  It feels like I’m going a lot faster than that.

Kunzite:  No it doesn’t. [smiles]  Do you plan to make it there before nightfall?

Zoi:  Better safe than sorry.

Kunzite:  Give it some gas.  At the speed you’re going, I can get out and walk away *before* there’s an accident.

[Zoi drives a little faster until the needle is on the thirty-five.  He’s convinced the car is going to self-destruct at that speed.]

Zoi:  My brain isn’t fast enough for this.

Kunzite:  Don’t worry.  The other drivers can see you, you know.  And even if they can’t, I have ways of avoiding them.  Make a right…. Your other right…Now keep driving until the pavement ends.

Zoi:  [When he parks he realizes they’ve only gone about two miles. He gets out at a hilly area with a muddy trail and few sparse trees]   This is the hiking trail we’re going on?  

Kunzite:  There are caves here.  I thought we might go exploring.  Is that a problem?

Zoi:  [Looks at the dingy landscape and then up at the steel gray sky in disappointment] We’re still in Hen Tie.  I thought you said we’d be going somewhere far away, where the weather is nicer.

Kunzite:  [Gives him a sly smile] And is that what you told your father?

Zoi:  No.

Kunzite:  Where does he think you are right now?

Zoi:  Home. Doing laundry.

Kunzite: Well, at least Usagi and her friends know we’re together, even if they think we’re in Seattle.

Zoi:  Actually, I told them you cancelled on me—which is true.

Kunzite: [His smile is replaced by a look of horror, then anger]  So no one knows you’re with me?

Zoi: That depends, I assume you told Beryl.

Kunzite:  Beryl is not going to try to save you!

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  Zoisite.  I’m a murderer!  My every impulse is that of a heartless killer!  Do you really hate this city so much you’ve become suicidal?

Zoi:  You said it might cause trouble for you…us being together publicly.

Kunzite:  So if your father pulls your naked body out of a shallow grave next week, you’re worried *I* might get in trouble?

Zoi:  Yes.

Kunzite:  [shakes his head]  Jesus Christ.  [hikes down the trail and beckon for Zoi to follow.]  This way.

[Kunzite walks ahead, totally infuriated.  Zoi follows after him.]  

[This date isn’t turning out to be anywhere near as magical as Zoi hoped it would be. Still any day that he gets to be with Kunzite is better than the best days when he doesn’t.  He rushes to keep pace with Kunzite’s long strides.]

[Kunzite turns with a look of annoyance, which softens involuntarily into a fond smile.  He paused to let Zoi catch up with him, then puts his arm around him and kisses him on the temple.]

Kunzite: You show an alarming lack of regard for your own safety.  I only hope you’re not this foolhearty when I’m not around.

Zoi:  Don’t worry, I’m only a fool for you.

Kunzite:  This way.  [Kunzite turns off the trail toward a slope leading up into the hills.]

Zoi:  [uneasy] No trail?

Kunzite:  We’re taking the road less traveled.  Or should I say the road untraveled.

Zoi:  What road?

Kunzite:  We can’t be followed.

Zoi:  [looks up the slope leading to the caves, which seems a bit too steep and unstable in places]  I’m not a good hiker.

Kunzite:  I can be patient.

Zoi:  You’d better lead the way.

[It turns out it’s not as hard as Zoi thinks.  The path is mostly flat, and in the more steep parts, Kunzite reaches out and hold him by the elbow to help him along.  Releasing him instantly when the way is clear. Zoi’s heart races each time at his touch.  By the time they reach a level plateau, Zoi is dripping with sweat.  The light sweater he’s wearing is starting to feel like an army blanket.]

Zoi:  Are we there yet?

Kunzite:  Nearly.  Do you see the darkness of that cave ahead?

Zoi:  Um, should I?

[As Zoi looks up he takes off his sweater and knots it around his waist, and fans out his tank top to get some air]

Kunzite:  One of the caves should appear darker than the others.

Zoi:  They all look the same to me.

Kunzite:  It may be a bit soon for your eyes.

[Zoi looks down at himself and is embarrassed that the tank top he has on is a bit too big and pretty flimsy.  He wore it for comfort, but now he feels underdressed. He hazards a glance as Kunzite to gauge his level of disapproval.

[Kunzite’s also taken off his sweater and is completely barechested. Zoi takes one look at Kunzite’s dark, well-muscled, sweaty chest and his brain shuts off with pure animal lust.]

Kunzite: [misinterprets his tortured expression.] What’s wrong?

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  Are you ok?

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  Do you want to go home?

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  [takes hold of Zoi’s elbow] I’ll take you home.

Zoi:  What?  No!

[They continue on. After a few yards Zoi can finally see what Kunzite is talking about.  One of the caves appears to be filled with an inky black vortex.  It makes a soft roaring sound like a jet engine. Zoi instinctively backs away from it, but Kunzite takes him by the hand and leans him right into it.]

[They emerge in another place.]  

[The first thing Zoi notices is now deep blue and clear the sky is, he’s never seen a sky that blue before.  The sunlight is so intense the air seems golden. They’re standing in a meadow filled with wildflowers: violets, daisies, wild roses, buttercups, morning glories, snapdragons, lilies of the valley, and even some flowers Zoi has never seen before.   The flowers and soft grasses are swaying in the breeze. There are no signs of civilization, utility poles, no roads, no houses.  Instead they are penned in by mountain that rise so high that the tops are capped with snow, which melts midway down to form waterfalls, that spill down the lush green slopes below.  There are deer drinking from a lake in the distance filled with exotic water fowl.]

[Zoi just stands there with his mouth hanging open]

Kunzite:  Not bad for a first date, huh?


	32. Blame Stephenie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...seriously, I wrote literally none of the dialogue after the asterisk

 [Zoi reaches the edge of the pool which is lined with fringes of ferns.  The creatures here have not learned to be shy of humans.  He studies the flowers for several minutes before he remembers that not everyone is as obsessed with flowers as he is.]

[He spins around and sees Kunzite, sunbathing on a patch of clover and watching him with cautious eyes.]

[Zoi comes over and sits crosslegged next to him, the magnificence of Kunzite’s body makes even the beauty of the meadow pale in comparison.]

Zoi:  I hope this is not too boring for you.  

Kunzite: Boring?

Zoi:  I’m not keeping you from a hockey game or anything?

Kunzite: I’m far from bored right now.  It just so happens I’m a great admirer of natural beauty.  

[He reaches up and pulls the elastic band from Zoi’s hair runs his fingers through his hair so that it falls forward, framing his face.]

Kunzite:  The sun will be setting soon, it will be truly magnificent.

Zoi: I take it we’re in Eastern Europe right now?

Kunzite [smiles] How do you figure that?

Zoi:  Judging from the sky, as well as the flora and fauna, we’re still on earth, however the time difference suggests we’re on the other side of it, and yet it is still springtime, so we must be north of the equator.

Kunzite:  Clever boy.

[Zoi is mesmerized by the contours of Kunzite’s biceps. * He reaches out one tentative finger and strokes the muscles of Kunzite’s arm.]

Kunzite:  I don’t scare you?

Zoi:  No more than usual.

[Kunzite closes his eyes as Zoi strokes his  arm with his whole hand now.  His fingers are shaking.  He knows Kunzite must notice that.]

[Zoi lightly trails his hand down the muscles of Kunzite’s arm until he nears the palm of Kunzite’s hand. Kunzite flinches involuntarily. His eyes opening a bit and harboring a bit of blue.]

Kunzite:  Sorry.  It is too easy to be myself with you.

Zoi:  Do you mind?

Kunzite:  No. You can’t imagine how this feels.

[Zoi traces the ridges of Kunzite’s palm with his finger]

Kunzite:  Tell me what you’re thinking.

Zoi:  I was wishing I could know what you were thinking…

Kunzite:  And..?

Zoi:  I was wishing I can believe that you’re real.  I was wishing that I wasn’t afraid.

Kunzite:  I don’t want you to be afraid.

Zoi:  Well, that’s not exactly the fear I meant, though that’s certainly something to think about.

[Kunzite sits up with his palm still in Zoi’s hand.  Zoi doesn’t flinch.]

Kunzite: What are you afraid of, then?

[Zoi struggles to put his feelings into words and finds that he cannot.  The proximity to Kunzite is making him feel flushed and dizzy. He sags toward him and can feel Kunzite’s breath on his face.  Kunzite smells really good to him.  It’s intoxicating.  As he leans in even closer to take in more of Kunzite’s scent, Kunzite takes hold of him to steady him, his fingers slipping by accident under his tanktop to the tight contours of his waist. As Zoi sinks closer to him, Kunzite’s irises start to fill with blue]

[Zoi knows just enough about Kunzite to know this isn’t good.]

[In a flash of violet, Kunzite is gone.]

[Zoi stands up.  For ten long seconds he looks around.  There is no way in or out of the valley.  The mountains would be impossible to scale, even if he was dressed in clothing that would withstand the elements.  If Kunzite doesn’t return, he knows he’ll die there.]

[But he also knows Kunzite will return.]

[Sure enough…]

Kunzite:  I’m so very sorry.  Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?

[Zoi nods]

[Kunzite gives an insane little laugh. The serene look Kunzite normally wears is gone, replaced by a look of deranged insanity. Zoi realizes he is seeing Kunzite’s true nature, not the stoic façade he is so careful to project.]

Kunzite:  I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I?  Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my smell.  As if I needed any of that!  As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off.

[Zod nods again.  He is terrified, but the thing that terrifies him the most is that Kunzite has never looked more beautiful to him. Zoi knows he is a bird, hypnotized by a cobra.  Knowing it does Zoi no good. He can’t fight it.  Even if he wanted to.]

[Then the madness passes and Kunzite’s face takes on a look of sadness.]

Kunzite:  Don’t be afraid.  I promise…I swear not to hurt you. Don’t be afraid.

[Kunzite comes closer and sits on the clover again.  Zoi sits beside him.]

Kunzite:  Please forgive me. I can control myself.  You caught me off guard.  But I’m on my best behavior now.

Zoi: *frightened laugh*

Kunzite:  Are you alright?

[Kunzite takes his hand again. Zoi smiles shyly]

Kunzite:  So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?

Zoi:  I honestly can’t remember.

Kunzite:  I think we were talking about why you are afraid, aside from the obvious reason.

Zoi:  Oh, right.

Kunzite:  Well?

Zoi: …

Kunzite: [sighs] How easily frustrated I am.

Zoi:  I was afraid…because, for, well… obvious reasons, I can’t stay with you. And I’m afraid I’d like to stay with you, much more than I should.

Kunzite: Yes, that is something to be afraid of indeed. Wanting to be with me.  That’s really not in your best interests.

Zoi: …

Kunzite:  I should have left a long time ago.  I should leave now.  But I don’t know that I can.

Zoi:  I don’t want you to leave.

Kunzite:  Which is exactly why I should.  But don’t worry, I’m essentially a selfish creature.  I crave your company too much to do what I should.

Zoi:  I’m glad.

Kunzite:  Don’t be!  [pulls his hand away]  It’s not only your company I crave.  Never forget that.  Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else.

Zoi: I don’t think I understand exactly what you mean–by that last part anyway.

Kunzite: [smiles]  How do I explain?  Without frightening you again…hmmm.  [Takes Zoi’s hand again.  Zoi clasps his other hand around his.]  That’s amazingly pleasant.  That warmth. You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?  Some people love chocolate ice cream, other’s prefer strawberry?

Zoi:  *Nods*

Kunzite:  Sorry about the food analogy – I couldn’t think of another way to explain it.  You see, if you lock an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he’d gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic.  Now let’s say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac – how do you think he would fare then?

Zoi:  …?

Kunzite:  Maybe that’s not the right comparison.  Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.

Zoi:  So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?

Kunzite:  Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.

Zoi:  Does that happen often?

[Kunzite takes a deep breath and looks at that sky]

Kunzite:  …Never.

[The word hangs on the warm breeze]


	33. It’s getting hot in here

[Scene:  A meadow that no one has stepped foot in since the dawn of time.  Kunzite and Zoi are lying back to watch the sunset, with appears in stunning technicolor.]

Kunzite:  [Sighs] I guess even the strongest of us fall off the wagon.

Zoi:  [sighs sadly] So there is no hope for us, is there?

[Kunzite draws Zoi close]

Kunzite:  No, no. Of course there’s hope.  I really meant what I said about not doing anything that might hurt you.

Zoi:  But you also said I’m like heroin.

Kunzite:  And you are. [smiles as he strokes Zoi’s hair] but I care too much now to allow my baser animal instincts to destroy whatever good will you might have for me.

Zoi: [picks up on his exact wording] You care too much…now?

Kunzite: [nods with an evil smile] It took everything I had not to throw you on that lab table and take you in front of that class full of children.  

Zoi:  [laughs at how far Kunzite’s words differ from his own memories] Is that why you sat so far away from me?

Kunzite:  I had to… You must have thought I was possessed.

Zoi:  I couldn’t understand why you would hate me so quickly.

Kunzite: [caresses Zoi’s hair] This face, this hair, that body…I thought it would make me deranged that first day.  In one hour I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the school with me, to get you alone.  And I fought them all back.  I didn’t even know why. This was long before I knew my mind control doesn’t work on you.  Using mind control on you would have made things very simple.

Zoi: [gives Kunzite a coy smile] You didn’t need mind control. I would have followed you anywhere.

[Kunzite nods, but his eyes become somber and he looks away]

Kunzite: I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you. And you were there, in that warm little room. I very nearly took you then.  It would have been easy.  There was only one other frail human there to dispose of.  A soulless administrator I could have brutally murdered right in front of you, and then you would have been too terrified to do much of anything. She has no idea how close of a call she had.  It would have been no great loss.

Zoi: [giggles]  Poor Mrs. Cope.

Kunzite:  But I resisted. I don’t know how.  I forced myself not to wait for you.  Not to follow you home from school.  It was easy when you weren’t there anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decisions. I avoided the others – my brothers and my sister. I didn’t want them to see how weak I was.  They knew something was very wrong.  They told mother I’d been behaving strangely, and they hoped it would be something that might cost me her favor. They were right, you know. She wouldn’t have been pleased to know what I was feeling for you then, and she certainly won’t be pleased now.  I had half a mind to leave Hen Tie and never come back.  

Zoi:  You wanted to leave?  Because of me?

Kunzite:  [nods] I almost asked her if I could go on a long mission somewhere else, just to escape you and the troubles you would bring me.

[Kunzite looks down, shamefaced]

Kunzite:  It was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I’d dealt with temptation before, never of this magnitude, not even close.  But I was strong.  Who were you, this insignificant little boy, to have such power over the First among the Kings?

[Zoi looks at Kunzite with big serious eyes.]

Kunzite:  I took precautions. I drained entire crowds of people before seeing you to give myself the power to ignore you.  It didn’t work. Still, I was sure I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.  I wanted you to forget my behavior the first day, so I tried to talk to you like I would any other person. I was eager, actually, to prove my superiority.  

[Kunzite smiles and toys with a lock of Zoi’s hair]

Kunzite: But you were too alluring…Every time I saw you, you would take my breath away.  I was enthralled by your beauty.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a terrible feeling, that weakness, that loss of control. Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death right in front of me.  I should have welcomed it. It would have solved everything.  All I had to do was stand back and do nothing.  It should have done nothing.  Displaying my powers the way I did in front of that many witnesses was pure idiocy. But all of that occurred to me later.  All I could think at that time was, “Not him.”

[Kunzite closes his eyes, Zoi summons to courage to speak]

Zoi:  What happened at the hospital? I am still very confused about that.  I thought I was imagining things, but after everything that’s happened… I heard your mother say she wanted to eat me.  But you stopped her.  Right?

[Kunzite gives Zoi a sad look]

Kunzite:  I’d rather you didn’t know.

Zoi:  You should tell me.

Kunzite:  You have no idea how close you came to be murdered by my family that day.

Zoi:  [Remembers Metalia in her naga form]  I think I have a pretty good idea.

Kunzite:  No, you don’t.  Mother wanted to kill you right away, of course, but when I explained your unique nature, she put it to a vote.  The general consensus was that you are more trouble than you are worth. The decision to let you live, after everything you had witnessed, was far from unanimous.

Zoi:  Might I ask what the result was?

Kunzite:  [narrows his eyes] Are you sure you really want to know?…my family….we are not benevolent creatures…

Zoi:  [nods] If I’m going to be involved with you, I’ll need to know what I’m dealing with.

Kunzite: You are a clever boy.  [sighs sadly] My inability to influence your recollections poses quite a problem for us.  Nephrite and Jadeite insisted you should be disposed of, and quickly, before can create further problems for us.  Beryl agreed with me that you merited further study.  Not out of any great love for either me or you, but because she’s just shrewd enough to know anything that makes me beholden to her only increases her own power.

[Kunzite takes hold of Zoi’s hand]

Kunzite: Mother was ready to render the tiebreak so we could drain you into a lifeless corpse, until I swore I’d take full responsibility for any consequences of sparing your life and the life of your friend. That influenced the others right away. It’s not every day I place my neck in a noose like that, and they certainly aren’t going to interrupt me while I’m doing something that self-destructive.

Zoi:  It sounds like you’re constantly at each other’s throats.

Kunzite:  [gives Zoi a half smile] That’s the trouble with being evil.  It’s not the good guys you have to watch out for… Evil is always brought down by another evil… Despite my promises to my mother, I expected you to go tattle to your friends.  I tried to plan for it. The next day I was shocked when you kept your word not to tell anyone. I didn’t understand you at all.  But I knew I couldn’t become more involved with you. I had to stay as far from you as possible.  And every day, the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair, it hit me as hard as the first day.

[Kunzite looks at Zoi with surprising tenderness]

Kunzite:  And for all that, it would have been far better if I had just taken you that first day. If I had let you be killed by that van. If I’d let my family do away with you.

Zoi: Why?

Kunzite: [stokes Zoi’s hair] Zoisite.  I’ve allow myself to become way too fond of you. You are the most important thing in the world to me now.  The most important thing to me ever.

[Zoi looks away and blushes, then summons the courage to meet Kunzite’s eyes again]

Zoi:  You already know how I feel, of course.  I’m here… which roughly translated, means I’d rather die than stay away from you.

Kunzite:  That just means you’re a fool.

[Zoi and Kunzite both laugh.]

Kunzite:  [lies back and sighs] So the lion fell in love with the lamb…

Zoi: [lies back and smiles] What a stupid little lamb.

Kunzite: What a sick, masochistic lion.

[They lie there in silence]

Zoi:  So what can I do to make this easier for you?

Kunzite:  How do you mean?

Zoi:  Why do you need to consume so much energy to be around me?  I’ll have to be on my guard, you see, so I’d better learn what I shouldn’t do.  This for example [strokes Kunzite’s arm] seems to be okay.

Kunzite:  Zoisite, you never do anything wrong. It’s all me.

Zoi:  But I want to help, if I can, not to make this harder for you.

Kunzite:  Well… [roguish grin]  It was just how close you were.  Most humans tend to shy away from me.  I wasn’t expecting you to come so close. [his grin widens]  And then you kept exposing your belly to me.

Zoi:  Ok, no belly exposing.

Kunzite:  [laughs] No really, it was more surprise than anything else.

[Kunzite reaches out and slowly peels Zoi’s top up to his ribcage.]

Kunzite:  You see? Perfectly fine.

[Zoi’s blood is racing now.  He shifts his hands to his lap to try to be subtle.]

Kunzite:  The blush on your cheeks is lovely.

[Zoi tries to hide his face but Kunzite brushes Zoi’s cheek with his hand and then takes his face in both of his hands]

Kunzite: [whispers] Be very still.

[Zoi, of course, is already paralyzed]

[Kunzite leans closer, never taking his eyes off Zoi’s until he places his cheek at the hollow at the base of Zoi’s throat.  With deliberate slowness, Kunzite caresses his way down the sides of Zoi’s neck with both hands.  Zoi shivers and Kunzite’s breath catches, but Kunzite’s hands do not slow as they make their way to Zoi’s shoulders.  Then Kunzite’s face drifts to the side, his lips skimming Zoi’s neck all the way to his sternum.  Then he brushes his nose against the front of Zoi’s chest downward until he reaches his navel.  He kisses it gently, then he comes to a rest with the side of his face against Zoi’s belly with a contented sigh.]

[Zoi is convinced hours pass like that before his pulse slows.]

[Then Kunzite sits up, his eyes are peaceful]

Kunzite:  See? That wasn’t so difficult.

Zoi:  Was that very hard for you?

Kunzite:  [smiles roguishly] Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be.  And you?

Zoi:  It wasn’t bad for me at all.

Kunzite:  You know what I mean.

[Zoi smiles]

Kunzite: Here [takes Zoi’s hands and places them against his face] I don’t blush the way you do, but do you feel how warm I am right now?

[Zoi smiles with a roguish look in his eyes]  

Zoi: [whispers] Don’t move.

Kunzite closes his eyes and Zoi leans closer, caressing Kunzite’s cheek with his hand, then kissing his ear quickly before taking Kunzite’s earlobe between his teeth then trailing his lips down the side of Kunzite’s neck, unable to resist the urge to give him a tiny little lick at his collarbone.]

[Kunzite’s eyes open and they are filled with desire. Zoi knows he should be afraid but his pulse is hammering in his veins.]

Kunzite: [brushes his hand through Zoi’s hair] I wish you could feel….the complexity… the confusion I feel… That you can understand…

Zoi:  Tell me.

Kunzite:  I don’t think I can. I’ve told you of the hunger, I’ve told you what a deplorable creature that I am.  I think you might understand a little, but I don’t think you can fully empathize.

Zoi: I may understand better than you think.

[Kunzite shakes his head, just a little]

Kunzite:  I’m not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?

Zoi:  For me? No, never.  Never before this.


	34. Inhuman Error

[scene:  The same meadow.  Darkness is starting to settle.  The stars are out, impossibly bright.  There is a chirping of crickets and fireflies are starting to emerge. Zoi is lying with his eyes closed, with his cheek against Kunzite’s chest. ]

Kunzite:  I don’t know how to get close to you. I don’t know if I can.

Zoi: [sighs] This is enough.

[Kunzite puts his arms around Zoi and buries his face in his hair.]

Zoi:  You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for.

Kunzite:  I have human instincts.  I may not be human, but they are there… [Finds the elastic band and skillfully redoes Zoi’s ponytail] It’s almost time for lunch.  [Takes Zoi’s shoulders and looks into his face]  Can I show you something?

Zoi:  Show me what?

Kunzite:   A shortcut. [Rises and helps Zoi to his feet]  The fast way from Point A to Point B.  I’ll show you how I travel between dimensions.

Zoi:  Teleportation?

[Kunzite nods]  

Zoi;   [Frightened] That stuff always scares me in Scifi shows. Are you sure my soul won’t just depart as soon as it leaves my body.

Kunzite:   Your soul won’t leave your body.  We just slip through a tear in reality for a few seconds. [Quite animated] We’ve done it before, that day with the van, but since it was such a short distance it was over before you knew something had happened.

Zoi:  You won’t accidently drop me into the Twilight Zone, will you?

Kunzite:   [Hugs Zoi close] Not a chance.

Zoi:  I’m a bit heavier than a backpack you know.

Kunzite:  Come on, little coward, hold on tight.

[Then there is a purple flash and reality vanishes away in streaks.  There is a screaming in Zoi’s ears and a fierce burning tempest that buffets Zoi as if he stuck his head outside of a jet airplane.]  

[Both his hair and Kunzite’s is whipping around his face, but Zoi is afraid to close his eyes.  His head is starting to hurt.  A lot.  Despite Kunzite’s promises, he feels as if they’ll be pulled apart.  He clings to Kunzite as tightly as he can, but fears it isn’t enough.]

[Then it’s over.  They are back in Hen Tie, near the truck, and it’s almost noon.  Even with the ever present cloud cover, the midday sun is stinging Zoi’s eyes like acid. Zoi staggers away like a drunkard. He’s relieved to be on solid ground again, but trying his hardest not to vomit in front of Kunzite.]

Kunzite:  [Ecstatic] Exhilarating, isn’t it?

[Zoi just continues to stagger, nearly doubled over.]

Kunzite: [chuckles, until it goes on for a while and he realizes Zoi isn’t simply being melodramatic.  His smile vanishes] Zoisite?

Zoi:  [whimpers] I’m not feeling well.

Kunzite:  [concerned]  Oh, sorry.

[Zoi finally straightens up and when he looks at Kunzite, there is blood trickling out of his nose, ears, and the corners of his eyes.]

Zoi:  I think I need to lie down… 

Kunzite:  Zoisite!

[Kunzite runs and catches Zoi as he collapses.  He holds Zoi in his arms while Zoi lies there as limp as a ragdoll.  He wipes away the blood with his thumbs and is greatly relieved when more doesn’t well up.  Zoi’s color is bad but he appears to be breathing normally.  For a moment Kunzite has no idea what to do other than pace around uselessly while clutching Zoi’s unconscious body close to him.]

[He doesn’t have any healing magic.  That is Beryl’s forte.  Kunzite never had a use for it.   His own body heals faster than a human’s and the ability to heal others always seemed pointless when there was nobody he cared about.   If an enemy were ever able to wound him to the point where he might need outside intervention, the disgrace of it would have been worse than an honorable death.]

[Now he feels helpless, since Zoi appears to require immediate medical attention, and he can’t think of any way to help him. Teleporting again with Zoi would probably be a terrible idea.  He can’t open a portal–dimensional portals require a lot of time and work to pinpoint to a precise location.  He debates whether to take the car, driving as fast as he can and hoping he doesn’t arrive at a hospital too late to reverse any brain damage he inadvertently inflicted on Zoi, or else leave Zoi to summon Beryl.

[Zoi opens his eyes.  Much to Kunzite’s relief, his pupils appear normal]

Zoi:  [whimpers]  Kunzite.  I have the worst  icecream headache right now.

Kunzite:  [shouts]  What’s your name!

Zoi:  [winces, not only because of the volume of his voice, but also because of the wording of his question] You can’t remember what my name is?

Kunzite:  [softer]  Please it’s important you answer to the best of your ability.  When is your birthday?

Zoi:   [Thumps him on the chest] The day before Halloween. You already asked me that.

Kunzite:  What are the first eight elements of the periodic table?

Zoi:  [sighs] Hydrogen-helium-lithium-beryllium-boron-carbon-nitrogen-oxygen.  I thought we were done with all the questions– [clutches his head]  OOOOOOOWWWWWW!

Kunzite:  [alarmed] What!

Zoi:  My ears just popped!…[smiles and sighs happily]…Ah, that feels better.

[Kunzite sighs and puts Zoi down.  He now certain it’s nothing more than a pressure headache with a few burst blood vessels]

Kunzite:  Note to self. Human sinuses don’t fare well during interdimensional travel.

Zoi:  Huh?

Kunzite:  Next time we do this, hold your breath.  

Zoi:  [laughs derisively] Like there’s going to be a next time…

Kunzite:  [concerned]  How do you feel?

Zoi:  Dizzy, I think.  [Grabs Kunzite hands]  Oh, no. Look at all that blood. Are you hurt?

Kunzite:  [hides his hands behind his back before wiping them clean with a handkerchief] I guess teleportation wasn’t the best idea.

Zoi:  [unconvincingly] I thought it was interesting.

[Kunzite gives him a dubious look]

Zoi:  Ok. I absolutely hated it, you show-off!

[Kunzite laughs and hugs him close to hold him steady. Zoi’s breathing becomes more rapid. After a while, Kunzite steps back. Zoi is blushing, but his face is free of blood and he appears to be back to normal.]

Kunzite:  How are you feeling now.

Zoi: Really good, actually.

Kunzite:  Are you sure? No dizziness? No residual headache?

Zoi:  No, not at all. Why?

Kunzite: Because there was one more thing that I wanted to try today…

[Zoi looks at Kunzite expectedly, so Kunzite leans him against the side of the car and takes Zoi’s face into his hands.  He brings his face closer to Zoi and then hesitates with his eyes closed.  Zoi finds himself holding his breath for those several seconds.]  

[Then Kunzite’s lips are pressed against Zoi’s.]

[Zoi’s desire burns so hot he feels like his blood is about to boil over in his veins.  He tangles his fingers in Kunzite hair, trying to pull him in closer.  Zoi’s lips part as he breathes in Kunzite’s heady scent, and Kunzite deepens the kiss.]

[The unfamiliar sensation of having another person’s tongue in his mouth is unpleasant for Zoi at first, but since this is Kunzite, he quickly adapts, and meets Kunzite’s tongue with his own.]  

[The kiss breaks off only after Zoi starts feeling lightheaded from lack of oxygen.]

Zoi:  Wow.

Kunzite:  [breathless] No kidding.  

[Kunzite continues to look into Zoi’s eyes for several seconds, but makes no move to either release him from his grasp or kiss him a second time.]

Kunzite:  I’m stronger than I thought.  That’s good to know.

Zoi:  I wish I could say the same.

Kunzite:  You are only human after all.

[Kunzite releases Zoi and backs away and Zoi almost falls over]

Kunzite:  Still dizzy? Or is that my kissing expertize?

Zoi:  I can’t be sure, I’m still woozy. I think it’s a little of both.

Kunzite:  You should let me drive us back.

Zoi:  [giggles]  Are you insane?

Kunzite:  I can drive better than you on your best day.  You have much slower reflexes.

Zoi:  [nods]  That may be true, but I don’t think my nerves can take your kamikaze-style driving right now.

Kunzite:  Zoisite, you can’t even walk in a straight line right now.  What makes you think can drive a car?  [gives him a sly smile and holds out his hand for the keys]  As your dear friend, I’m afraid it’s my duty to prevent you from driving while under the influence.

Zoi:  Under the influence?

Kunzite: I’ve made you intoxicated.

Zoi:  [gives Kunzite a sly pout]  I can’t argue with that.  And you’re not intoxicated at all?  By me?  not even a little.

[Zoi takes the initialize this time and kisses Kunzite.]  

Kunzite:  More than a little. 

[Kunzite pulls him closer and Zoi gasps as Kunzite kisses his throat.]

 Kunzite:  [smiles and grabs the keys]  Regardless. I have the better reflexes.

 


	35. Love is in the air

[scene:  Sunday afternoon Zoi’s room.  Zoi’s lying on the bed, catching up on his homework, still basking in the afterglow of the day before.  He’s looking forward to Monday, just so he can see Kunzite again when he comes to pick him up for school.]  

[The phone rings.  He hopes it’s Kunzite, but he can see it’s Usagi.]

Zoi:  Hey, Usagi.

Usagi:  [giggles] Hi, Zoi it’s me.

Zoi:  How was the dance?

Usagi:   It was so much fun.   You should have been there. Everyone was asking about you.

Zoi:  Really?  Why?

Usagi:  Because you weren’t there, silly.  You missed out!  Mamoru wore a suit and everything.  He looked so sharp.  I didn’t realize how handsome he was when he’s not dressed like a scarecrow.  I didn’t think this was going to be a real date, but Mamoru brought me a white rose corsage, and told me how beautiful  I looked in my party dress and pink lipstick and everything.  

Zoi:  [smiles] He did?  That’s great.

Usagi:  That’s not even the best part.  He kissed me! Can you believe it?

Zoi: [sincerely happy that his friend Usagi is on the same track he is, romance-wise] That’s wonderful, Usagi.  I’m so happy you’re a couple now, you two look like you were meant for each other.

Usagi:  Um…yeah, I’m not so sure I’d go as far as to say we’re a couple just yet…

Zoi:  But he kissed you.

Usagi:  Yeah, but we were both pretty drunk at the time.  And he called me the wrong name, but he swears he doesn’t know anyone named “Selenity” so he doesn’t even know why he called me that.  I don’t know anyone named “Selenity” Do you?

Zoi:  No, I think I’d remember a name like that…[stern]  But back up a bit. Did you just say you were both pretty drunk?

Usagi:  Um, yeah, you big preschooler!  What do you think we do at these dances?  Dance? We were sitting with Naru and my friends enjoying our complimentary soft drinks, and Neffy came over with a bottle of Malibu Coconut and kept topped off our drinks for us.  

Zoi:  [uneasy]  Neffy O’Sama?

Usagi:  Oh, man, that stuff is so good.  I think I’ve found my new drink, Diet Coke and Malibu Coconut.  He asked Naru if she wanted to dance with him.  Can you believe it?  Naru finally got together with Neffy O’Sama.  And she didn’t even have to do anything.  We almost died!

Zoi: I’m surprised Naru didn’t die.

Usagi: Yeah, well she got so excited she practically fainted on the dance floor.  So he left and moved onto another table while she rested.

Zoi:  [concerned] Is she ok now?

Usagi:  Sure, she’s fine.  She sat out the rest of the dances, but now she won’t stop talking about how amazing Neffy O’Sama is.

Zoi:  I don’t like this….  He shouldn’t be getting girls drunk and taking advantage of them like that.

Usagi:  Oh, for heaven sakes.  It’s not like he felt her up or anything.  Besides, she’s been in love with him forever.  Does Kunzite have any idea what a prude you are?

Zoi:  [blushes] I think he’s got a fairly good idea.  

Usagi:  Yeah, well it’s probably for the best, because he strikes me as a bit of a square himself. But Neffy and Naru, they’re different, you know.  They’re a bit more worldly-wise and cosmopolitan than the rest of us.

Zoi: [frowns]  I’m just saying, I’d be a lot happier if she were dating Umino.  He’s so much better for her.

Usagi:  What are you talking about?  Naru’s smart and beautiful and Umino’s a dork supreme.  He’s nowhere near her dating level. That’s so gross.

Zoi:  Yeah, but I can tell he cares about Naru very deeply, and Neffy O’Sama strikes me as a really bad guy. I really doubt he has her best interests at heart. If she hangs around with him, she’s going to get hurt, and she might never get over it.  He’s much too old for her anyway.

Usagi:  [giggle]  Oh, that’s so funny, because Naru said the exact same stuff about you and Kunzite.

Zoi:  [startled] Really?

Usagi:  Yeah, she thinks he’s really scary. She kept asking Neffy about him.  If he’s got a violent temper, or a history of domestic abuse, and all that.  He assured us his brother likes to take things slow, so he’s still days away from slapping you around.  Mamoru got really upset and Naru almost cried, so Neffy laughed and told us he was joking and asked Naru to dance with him.  

Zoi:  Oh….I really don’t think Kunzite wants to hit me…

Usagi:  [giggles some more]  Don’t worry, Mamoru wanted to give you a call to make sure you were safe.  But I told him it’s obvious that Kunzite really loves you.   From the sweet and gentle way he looks at you, I can tell he’d probably cut off his arm before he’d start beating on you.

Zoi:  [smiles] Really?

Usagi:  Ah-huh. He’s a completely different person since he’s met you, you know. He used to be so dark and angry-looking and didn’t want to talk to anyone.  Not even his own family. Ever since he met you, he keeps smiling like every day is Christmas.  

Zoi:  Ah, thanks, Usagi. 

Usagi:  No problem. Anyway, enough about you. Back to Mamoru and I.  We got to talking about his family and how his parents died in a car accident and how it made him want to be a doctor since they had a really crappy HMO.  He told me about his volunteer work at the old folk’s home and I told him I’d like to go there some time to help him out. You know, he’s really not that much of a jerk once you get to know him.  We went on a moonlight stroll by the rose bushes.  He held my hand the whole time.  It was really romantic.

Zoi:  [sighs wistful at the parallels between Usagi’s day and his own]  Was that where you had your first kiss?

Usagi: Nah, we had our first kiss in the back of his aunt’s car on the drive back to my place.  

Zoi:  [still smiling] So what was it like?

Usagi: I’m not sure, to be honest… I missed the first part of it since I had dozed off, but the part I was awake for was very sweet and tender.

Zoi: [smile vanishes and is replaced by a look of fury] He made out with you while you were passed out drunk in the back of his aunt’s car?

Usagi: Shut up.  It wasn’t like that!  It started as just a very chaste and gentle goodnight kiss, but when I woke up I wanted more.  It was so magical. The most romantic date I’ve ever been on.  So what did you do yesterday?

Zoi:  [blushes]

Usagi:  Zoi, are you still there?

Zoi:  Um… yeah…

Usagi:  So what did you do yesterday?

Zoi:  [getting flustered] Nothing.

Usagi:  You did nothing?

Zoi: I …um… just lazed around outside to enjoy the sun.

Usagi:  Did you hear anything more from Kunzite?

Zoi: [beet red] Um…well…

Usagi:  You did, didn’t you?  Did he call to reschedule your trip to Seattle?  Are you going to go?

Zoi:  I, um…Oh, my dad just came home.  We’ll talk more tomorrow.

Usagi: Ok, see you tomorrow.  We’ll talk after class. And Zoi, next time there’s a dance. You’re going.  And you’re asking Kunzite.  But you’re coming with us anyway, even if he says no.  Okay?

Zoi: [smiles] We’ll see about that.


	36. Kunzite’s Evil, Kids, Stay in School!

[scene:  Monday morning.  Zoi has moved a chair nearer to the door so he can listen for Kunzite’s car.  At last he hears it approaching so he walks outside and locks up before Kunzite parks to save some time.]

[Kunzite still gets out and they meet each other halfway.

Zoi:  Hi.

Kunzite: Hi.

[They embrace with their faces close.  Zoi still has the memory of their first kiss still in his mind. He desperately wants to kiss him again, but he’s afraid Kunzite will think he’s too forward.]

Zoi:  Hi.

Kunzite:  Hi.

[Zoi moves his face forward a little and draws back as if from an open flame.  Then Kunzite does the same.   Before they know it they are kissing again, with a passion that borders on starvation, both completely oblivious to the world around them.  Eventually they break it off.]

Kunzite: [whispers] What is this strange hold you have over me?

Zoi:  [whispers back] I don’t know, but I hope it never goes away.

Kunzite:  I guess we’d better go to school.

Zoi:  I guess we’d better.

[Zoi gets in and Kunzite’s crazy driving brings him out of his haze.]

Zoi:  Is it my turn to ask questions again?

Kunzite:  If you’d like.

Zoi:  Why are you in high school, anyway?  

Kunzite:  [smirks]  Why wouldn’t I be in high school?

Zoi:  As someone who is actually forced to attend high school by the dictates of my family, age, socioeconomic status, religious affiliations, and species, I can think of about a thousand reasons I would try to get out of it, if I were you.

Kunite:  I take it, you don’t like being in high school?

Zoi:  Not at all.

Kunzite: [smiles] Go on.  Enlighten me.  Why shouldn’t I be in high school.

Zoi:  For starters, If I were an evil godlike creature, I certainly wouldn’t want to hang around some place where I needed a hall pass.

Kunzite:  You must have noticed by now, I don’t actually need a hall pass. [smiles at Zoi] Neither do you for that matter.  

Zoi:  Be that as it may, I can’t imagine a worse hell than being stuck taking high school history and civics classes for a thousand years in a row.

Kunzite:  That’s the beauty of astral projection.  I don’t actually have to pay attention to anything the teachers are saying. They’re wrong about most of it anyway.

Zoi:  But, why? Why highschool? You can pass for older, so why not spend your days at a country club?  Or a community college learning something that’s actually interesting, at the very least?

Kunzite: [smiles] We go to high school because it’s an ideal feeding ground.  All those fresh young souls, being slowly crushed into powder by the exquisite grindstone that you humans call the “core curriculum.”  All that wasted potential needs to go somewhere, so the air is thick with life-sustaining energy.

Zoi:  Gee, thanks. Now I’m thoroughly depressed.

Kunzite:  Then while we are on the subject of not needing a hall pass, how disappointed would you be if you had to skip Biology and PE this afternoon?

Zoi:  Not disappointed at all.  Biology class is way too easy for me and PE class is way too hard.

Kunzite:  Good because I was thinking we might go off-campus for lunch today.

Zoi:  [eyes light up] You’re going to take me out to lunch? In a restaurant?

Kunzite: [nods]  A restaurant in Paris, to be exact.  Though because of the time difference, it will be more of a dinner.

Zoi:  [sits up straight] You’re taking me to Paris? As in Paris, France?

Kunzite:  You think I’d go to all this trouble to bring you to a Paris that isn’t in France?

Zoi:  [overcome] I don’t know what to say.

Kunzite: [smirks] Well, if you’re having misgiving about missing school, I’ll let you order me a café au lait, and we can justify this as a school trip.

Zoi: Oh, no, I’m definitely going! I just wish I’d known earlier.  I would have brought a camera.

Kunzite: I can provide the photographer.  Then we can both be in the pictures at the same time.

[Zoi gives Kunzite a startled and uneasy look]

Zoi:  You’re bringing a photographer along with us to Paris?

Kunzite:  She’s a youma.  She can get there by herself.  Don’t worry. She does excellent work.  And she’s very discreet.  You won’t even know she’s there.

Zoi:  I’ll know she’s there.

Kunzite: There’s no need to be self-conscious. She’s not human, so nothing we do will shock her.  And you don’t have to worry about her listening in to our conversations, since she doesn’t understand a word of English.

Zoi:  Oh…ok.

[He smiles. His shyness at the thought of being followed around and photographed by a monster overcome by the prospect of having a huge collection of candid pictures in Paris with Kunzite.]


	37. First Tango in Paris

[Scene:  Nighttime in Paris. Kunzite and Zoi are drinking white wine at a romantic sidewalk bistro with a good view of the Eiffel Tower.]

Kunzite:  According the doctor’s note the school has on file for you, you’ve suffered a hairline fracture in your ankle.  It should be okay for you to return to Biology class tomorrow, but you’ll be out of PE class for quite some time.

Zoi:  [smiles] I’m sure half the boys are going to be devastated when the other team doesn’t get stuck with me.

[Kunzite sees the waiter approaching with the appetizers]

Kunzite:  Are you sure you don’t want to try any of my escargot?

Zoi:  [wrinkles his nose] I don’t eat snails.

Kunzite:  They’re delicious.

Zoi:  I highly doubt it. I make it a point not to eat things that don’t have any natural predators.

[The waiter brings out the appetizers. Zoi takes one look at Kunzite’s escargot and makes a face]

Zoi:  Ugh, Gross! They could at least take them out of the shells so I don’t have to look at those nasty things while I’m eating!

Kunzite: [laughs as he fishes out the escargot with a tiny fork]  Usually, I forget how young you are, and then you say things like that, and I’m reminded of what an innocent child you still are.

Zoi:  [sulks] I’m not a little boy, you know.

Kunzite: That’s a very little boy thing to say.

Zoi:  [dips his toasted bread in the garlic herb butter for his mussels to soak up the juice]  Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?

Kunzite:  Does it matter much?

Zoi:  No, but I still wonder…

Kunzite:  To be perfectly honest, I can’t be sure how old I am exactly.

Zoi:  Oh?  Really?

Kunzite:  [gives Zoi a sly look] I wonder if it would upset you to know that when I was young, the calendar hadn’t been invented yet?

Zoi:  You’re ancient?

Kunzite:  Let’s just put it this way.  When I went to pick up our lunch the other day, I could help but notice Arizona has changed a lot.  The last time I was there, it was a jungle.  With tigers.

Zoi:  So you have been around for a long time, have you?  [Looks down sadly and eats his mussels in glum silence]

[Kunzite didn’t know what type of reaction he was expecting, but it wasn’t sorrow]

Kunzite: What are you thinking?

Zoi:  I’m thinking…there must have been lots of others…before me… I assume.  

Kunzite: [Nods]  Lots of others.  None of them worth remembering.

[From the tone of Kunzite’s voice, he knows he’s being reassured, but Zoi can’t help but feel miserable that other people have gotten closer to Kunzite than he has.]

Zoi:  [sulks] Maybe, in a few years from now…you’ll find someone else, and I won’t be worth remembering.

Kunzite:  That won’t happen.  Even if you decide this ends tonight, I could never forget you.

[Zoi smiles a bit at that]

[The waiter clears the flatware and crumbs before he brings out the entrees, coq au vin for Kunzite, roasted trout for Zoisite.]

[Kunzite smiles as a crispy whole trout crusted with herbs and with a side of green beans almandine is placed in front of Zoi–bones, eyes, tail and all.]

[Zoi, unfazed, picks up the fish knife and extracts the flesh from between the skin and bones with the skill of a surgeon.]

Kunzite:  You’re quite good at that.

Zoi:  I watched some people at another table.  [Eats some of his fish] Were you always a Shitennou?

Kunzite:  No. Like I said, Mother adopted me… She found me in a desolate wasteland and she rescued me from the very brink of starvation.

Zoi:  What happened?

Kunzite:  I lived during an ice age.  The sky was perpetually dark and the earth was frozen over. My people were nomads, wandering the tundra in search of food.  Eventually the sun came out and we found ourselves trapped on an island where there was nothing but water and rock.  I probably wasn’t the first of my tribe to resort to cannibalism, but I was certainly the last.

Zoi:  Oh…I’m sorry…

Kunzite:  I don’t remember it well.  It was a very long time ago.  I do remember how it felt, when Metalia elevated me. That’s not something you can easily forget.

Zoi:  How did she… save you?

Kunzite:  I don’t know how to describe it to someone who is mortal, but she filled me with her power, and it was incredible.

[The waiter brings out coffee and Crème brûlée with fresh berries for dessert.]

Zoi:  Why did she do it?

Kunzite:  I think she needed her creatures to be ruled by beings forged from her own essence.   I was the first, though she found Beryl shortly afterwards.  Beryl presided over a city of amazons that enslaved neighboring villages and practiced human sacrifice.  As a high priestess, she had entire chambers decorated with the skulls of her victims.  A more advanced civilization sacked her city and threw her from a cliff.  She was dead when they left her, but Metalia brought her back.

Zoi:  So Metalia can raise the dead?

Kunzite:  When it suits her.  Which is seldom.  And never with benign intentions.  Have you ever read the story “The Monkey’s Paw?”

Zoi:  I can’t say I have.

Kunzite:  Let’s just say it’s not a favor I would consider asking her for.  The request alone would probably anger her enough to bring a thousand curses upon your head.

Zoi:  So I assume you must be dead or near death to become a Shitennou?

Kunzite:  Very observant.   [smiles] No, that’s not a requirement. It’s just that she doesn’t believe in harvesting her young until they’ve reached their fullest potential.  Death places a cap on one’s achievements. The only thing Mother truly despises is weakness.  It’s far more important to Metalia that you have the heart of a killer.

Zoi:  [shudders] I don’t think I could ever kill anyone.  

Kunzite: I don’t think you could either.

[Kunzite pays the bill and they go to their motorcycle.  Kunzite hands Zoi the helmet. Zoi straps on the helmet and climbs on behind Kunzite and holds on for dear life.]

[Kunzite takes Zoi along the Seine river and stops at a riverside amphitheater where a battered radio is playing tango music at full volume while hundreds of couples are dancing the tango in the moonlight. Zoi is mesmerized by the sight of so many skilled dancers moving so seductively.]

Kunzite:  Watch carefully.  The tango can be dangerous if you are not careful.  Notice the pattern of fast and slow movements, and how each partner’s movements are a mirror image of the other’s.

Zoi:  [anxious]  We’re going to dance together?

Kunzite:  We’re going to dance together.  But first watch.

[Kunzite walks up to a well-dressed woman of about seventy with heavy makeup and jet black hair.  She takes his hand and she dances with the grace of a fairytale princess.  Even though she’s old enough to be his grandmother, and she’s probably waited decades to be asked by a partner of Kunzite’s beauty and skill, Zoi finds himself becoming jealous since their motions are so suggestive.]  

[From the way they move, it almost seems as if she is offering herself up to Kunzite as a willing conquest and Kunzite is deciding on the precise moment when he should ravish her.   Even though he knows he’s being silly, Zoi’s getting a bit angry watching what looks very much like a courtship ritual.]

[When the next song start and Kunzite offers him his hand, he accepts without hesitation and only remembers a few seconds later that he doesn’t know how to dance.  Kunzite has to guide him firmly and correct his movements, but eventually he starts to get the hang of it.  Kunzite pairs him up with a tiny brunette who looks to be about the same age as him and watches as they dance together, until he finds himself another partner among the scores of heavily made up women in beautiful dresses sitting on the sidelines.]  

[The girl seems shy at first, until she realizes how inexperienced of a dancer Zoi is, and takes the lead, bending him to and fro and jerking him about with all the nurturing patience of a dominatrix.  To Zoi’s surprise, he finds he’s having the time of his life.  When the song ends he goes to dance with another of the wallflowers.  Then another, then another.]

[By the time Kunzite offers him his hand again, he’s gotten a lot better at dancing, so their movements become more fluid, more natural.  A time later he finds himself getting tired so he’s just standing there, holding Kunzite and just swaying softly to the music.  Kunzite smiles down at him.]

Kunzite: Had enough for one day, or should we check out a jazz club?

Zoi:  Jazz club, most definitely.


	38. Guilt trip

[Scene:  A four hundred year old brick cellar strung up with Christmas lights and converted into a jazzclub.  Kunzite is drinking beer out of the bottle with his arm around Zoi.  Zoi’s practically in Kunzite’s lap and is enjoying the band, which consists of a piano, bass, trumpet, guitar, and drums.]  

[A Roma woman comes by selling roses and Kunzite buys a pink rosebud for Zoi, which of course Zoi accepts with a great deal of happiness.]

Zoi:  [Between sets] Do we have any plans for tomorrow?

Kunzite:  There is a cherry blossom festival going on that I really want to take you to. But because of the time difference, we’d have to go before school starts, so I’d need to pick you up at five am.

Zoi: [conflicted since he’d dearly love to see a cherry blossom festival, but the clock says it’s close to midnight already] I want to, but that not going to give me a lot of time to sleep.

Kunzite:  [shows Zoi his watch] It’s only three thirty in the afternoon.

[Zoi has only had a glass of wine at dinner, and a few swallows of Kunzite’s beer. But that’s a glass of wine and a few swallows of beer more than he’s had before, so he laughs like that’s the funniest thing in the world]

[The next songs starts, so Zoi cuddles up to Kunzite to enjoy the music.  It goes on and on and on…]  

[At last the band asks if anyone has any requests.]

Zoi:  [shouts] Play some Jerry Lee Lewis!

[This gets a laugh from crowd, who are mostly French and British.]

[The pianist makes a face at Zoi, muttering in French into the mic about stupid t-shirt wearing yanks and their rockabilly music.  The other band members roll their eyes at him since they don’t really share his sentiments.]  

[Normally, Zoi would be mortified.  But he’s a bit tipsy.]

Zoi:  [In French] What?  Is it because you can’t do it? Or because you don’t know it?  Because if you don’t know it, I’d be happy to get up there and teach it to you!

Crowd:  Ooooooh!

[Zoi’s afraid he’s embarrassed Kunzite with his heckling, but Kunzite’s just holding him grinning.]

[The band seems to share Kunzite’s amusement, so the pianist rises and makes a bow and flourish at the piano.]

Pianist:  [In English] Bring it on.

[The crowd laughs at the slur] 

[Zoi gets up and Kunzite has to hold him at first to steady him, but makes no move to stop him.  He walks past the pianist who has his fist raised and up the piano stool to spin the seat to adjust for his height.  The rest of the band watches in amusement, unsure of what they are going to get.]

[Then he puts his hand on the keyboard and starts banging out a perfect rendition of “Great Balls of Fire.”]  

[The crowd goes wild]

[Soon the rest of the band joins in.  The pianist is so mortified, he flees the stage.]  

[Kunzite beams with pride then turns to the crowd and gives them a look that says, “He’s mine.  Don’t even think about it.”]

[After a few songs, Zoi returns to his seat]

Kunzite: [stares at Zoi with a big adoring smile] You never told you’re a piano virtuoso.

Zoi:  Yeah, well it’s kind of a useless skill to have.

Kunzite:  You really have no idea how extraordinary you are, do you?

[Later: Kunzite drives him home.  Zoi’s sleepy, so he’s a bit surprised to discover it’s not even dark out.  They pull up outside the house.]

Zoi:  Do I smell like beer?

Kunzite:  I’m afraid you do.  And your father’s watching TV in the livingroom.  I think you’d better bypass the front door.  Hold your breath.

Zoi:  wh–

[Kunzite grabs Zoi and before he can even finish the word, there’s a magenta flash they’re in his bedroom.]

Zoi: –y? Oh.  Nevermind.

Kunzite:  Should I come back here tomorrow at five to pick you up?

Zoi:  Please do.  [hugs Kunzite] Thanks for bringing me to Paris.  I had a great time. [He leans forwards to give Kunzite a kiss, but Kunzite holds him at arm length and gives him a kiss on the forehead]  

Kunzite:  No.  You’ve been drinking.  Lips that touch alcohol, will never touch mine.

Zoi:  [giggles]  You teetotaler.

[Kunzite vanishes and Zoi picks up a budvase and carries it into the bathroom to fill it with water. Then he brushes his teeth and gargles with mouthwash for good measure.  As he opens the door his father is standing outside.  Zoi nearly drops the vase in shock.]

Zoi:  [covers his mouth with his hand] Geez, dad.  Don’t scare me like that.

Chief Midori:  Sorry.  I didn’t realize you were home until I heard the water running.  I didn’t hear you come in.  What you do, crawl in a window?

Zoi:  [still covering his mouth] No dad, that’s silly.

Chief Midori:  Why are you covering your mouth like that?

Zoi:  I have a bit of a cold.   Don’t get too close.  [coughs dramatically]  

Chief Midori:  [feels his forehead]  You do feel a bit feverish.

[Zoi doesn’t have to put on much of an act to look ill.  He can’t stand lying to his father like this.  Especially since his father has treated him with nothing but the utmost love and kindness since the moment he moved in.]

[And now, in a single afternoon, Zoi has broken nearly promise he’s made to his father: no drinking, no lying, no secrets, no ditching school, no hanging out with older boys, no staying out past dark, no sneaking into clubs…He hasn’t broken the ‘no sex’ one yet, but he has a feeling that’s not too far off. *]

[*At least not if Zoi’s hormones get a say in the matter.]

Zoi: The nurse called my ride and he brought me home early.  You probably just didn’t notice since it was so early.

Chief Midori:  Oh, ok.  Can I take you to the doctor tomorrow?

Zoi:  No, Dad.   I’m fine. I feel a lot better already.  In fact, I’ll probably go right to sleep and then leave for school early tomorrow to get caught up in the library.

Chief Midori: Is that cigarette smoke I smell on your clothes?

Zoi:   [miserable] You can smell that?  Some woman was smoking outside the school when I was waiting outside.  I didn’t know I got it on me.

Chief Midori:  She must have been smoking like a chimney since you positively reek of it.

Zoi:  I haven’t taken up smoking, if that’s what you’re afraid of.

[He goes to his room and puts the rose next to his computer.]

Chief Midori:  Pretty rose.  Where did you get it?

Zoi: [averting his gaze]  Oh, just something I picked up to brighten up my room a little.

Chief Midori:  Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to a doctor?  You’re looking a little flushed and haggard.  

Zoi:  No dad.  It’s just a virus.  The doctor can’t do anything.

Chief Midori: How about I make you some chamomile tea.  Or some soup.  I just pour the can into a cup and put it into the microwave, right?

Zoi:  Geez, dad.  I’m ok. I don’t need any tea or soup.  I just need a nap.  

Chief Midori:  [smiles and musses his hair]  You’re so low maintenance.  How did I get so lucky to have such a good kid?

[Zoi just sits on his bed and stares at his hands without answering.]

Chief Midori:  Love you, son.

Zoi:  Love you too, dad.

[As soon as his father leaves, Zoi bursts into tears, racked with guilt. If his father had any idea how he’s spent the past few hours he’d have a heart attack. He’d been so focused on how Kunzite was behaving like a perfect gentleman that he failed to pay attention to his own bad behavior. He feels like a total hypocrite. He has no right judging Mamoru and Motoki and Neffy when he’s worse than the three of them put together.]

[Yet repenting does no good. He already had plans to sneak out again before dawn.]

[So Zoi lies in his bed and cries from pure heartache. He knows the right thing to do would be to call Kunzite and cancel their date, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to. There is no way he can cancel their date.  He already misses him.  Zoi pines for Kunzite every second they are apart.]  

[He has to see him as soon as he can.  Even knowing how easily he might get caught.  Even knowing how badly it will hurt his father when he does get caught.]    

[He finally understands what Kunzite meant by his heroin analogy.  Zoi’s turning into an addict.]  


	39. The Fragile and Fleeting Beauty of the Sakura

[Scene:   The Japanese Countryside.  Amid hot springs and ancient temples the cherry trees are in full bloom so the entire landscape is filled with cloudlike foliage in varying shades of pink.  Some of the cherry blossoms are nearly white, some are a dark fuchsia, but most are a deep vibrant pink.   Some of the trees are so sparse that the pink appears on the twisted ebony branches in tiny dots.  Many of the others are so full that the cherry blossoms that the ground beneath them is carpeted in pink petals.  Some are even hung with paper lanterns to add a golden glow to the pink.]

[Zoi has never seen anything like it.]

[He and Kunzite been walking for hours, checking out the festivities and exploring the different types of trees.  Zoi knows school is about to start back home, and he secretly hopes Kunzite hasn’t noticed.  He wishes could spend several days studying all the different types of cherry blossoms.]

[All around him, groups and couples and have claimed spots under the trees, and are opening baskets on blankets or mats and drinking sake and eating flower themed bento or little pink cakes.  Kunzite has bought a similar box and a straw mat.  Some people are walking around in traditional kimono’s and parasols, while others walk in plain white robes.]  

[As they pass by some mist covered mineral springs, Zoi is shocked to see people take off their white robes and climb into the water, which ripples pink from the reflection of the trees.

Zoi:  [blushes and looks away]  Those people…they’re are all naked.

Kunzite:  I should hope so.  They are bathing.

Zoi:  Outside?

Kunzite:  The hot springs here are very therapeutic and are rumored to have healing properties.

Zoi:  Yes…but… they’re naked.  

Kunzite:  Yes.

Zoi:  In public.

Kunzite:  It’s perfectly normal here.  Everyone does it so nobody minds. [Gives Zoi a sly smirk] I take it you wouldn’t be up for a soak.

Zoi:  [shakes his head vehemently] I’m not even sure I’m ready to let you see me in a bathing suit.

Kunzite: [looks him over as if trying to visualize it] That slender back…that tiny waist…those slim long legs of yours that go on forever… I’d have to rub you down with sunscreen to protect that delicate skin of yours. .. hmmm…Now I wish I’d taken you to a beach in Southern California instead of here.

[Zoi smirks at him.  On the one hand, he doesn’t want Kunzite to see how pale and girlish he looks in his bathing suit.  On the other hand, he’d love to see how dark and manly Kunzite looks in HIS bathing suit.]

Zoi:  I’m sure that if you did, you’d probably feel let down.

Kunzite:  You forget that I’ve already seen you in your underpants.

Zoi:  [jabs his arm with his fist]  Oh, that’s right, you rogue.

[Kunzite finds a huge, three hundred year old cherry tree that conveniently unclaimed and sets their basket down.]  

[Zoi giggles to think that Kunzite was around when that tree was a sapling.]

Zoi:  [settles onto the mat]  Are there a lot of your kind?

[Kunzite opens the box and extracts a tiny stone teapot and two tea bowls.  He pours tea for the both of them.]

Kunzite:  If by my kind you mean Shitennou, there are only the three of us, not counting Beryl. If you’re referring to creatures of the Dark Kingdom, far more walk the earth than you’d suspect.

Zoi:  [giggles] Actually, that explains a lot. You’ve already told me of yourself and Beryl. What about Neffy and Jeddy? What were they like before?

Kunzite:  Nephrite was fairly close to what you would call a gladiator.  Except he wasn’t a slave, he fought for money.  And to impress the women. He was undefeated in the arena, but he fell and busted his head on a rock after sneaking out of a married woman’s bedroom. He was a charming rogue.  Metalia and Beryl seemed to warm up to him right away.  I did not.

[Hands Zoi his tea] 

Kunzite: Then she brought in Tanzanite, and that gave Nephrite and I a common enemy for a while.  

Zoi: I’ve heard of Tanzanite.  What was he like?

Kunzite:  He was a warlord of the Far Eastern mold.  The younger son of a powerful nobleman, so he was expected to make his own way in the world while bringing honor to his clan. He went from village to village, sacking them to unite them under his father’s banner and taking their most beautiful virgins as his unwilling brides.  He was elevated to the Shitennou after he was nearly assassinated by the poisoned hairpin of a prostitute who had disguised herself as a maiden in the hopes of getting close enough to end his reign of terror.

Zoi:  Good for her.

Kunzite:  [Smiles at the memory] She seemed like a lot of fun. And pretty too.  Personally, both Neffy and I felt Metalia should have left him there and brought in the prostitute instead, but Beryl had other ideas.

Zoi:  [makes a sour face] So you liked this prostitute, did you?

Kunzite:  [smiles]  Not nearly as much as I like you, but I certainly liked her a lot more than I liked Tanzanite.

[Zoi sulks so Kunzite feeds Zoi a little pink cake with a flower on it.]

[Zoi chews on it for about two seconds and then spits it out into the grass.]

Zoi:  Yuck. [wipes his mouth with the back of his hand]

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  That thing had sweet bean paste in it, didn’t it?

Kunzite:  This is Japan.  Everything has sweet bean paste in it.

Zoi:  If there is one thing I hate more than anything in the world, it’s sweet bean paste.

Kunzite:  [amused] Oh, really?

Zoi: [nods] They shouldn’t be allowed to sculpt a cherry blossom on anything that disgusting. It’s false advertising.

Kunzite:  [grins]  You were expecting cherry pie filling?

Zoi:  I was hoping for cherry pie filling…[drinks some tea to wash the taste out of his mouth] …So the last of you was Jeddy?

Kunzite: [nods] He was a witchhunter, though not a very good one.  The rest of us had a real genius for killing.  He merely had the enthusiasm. He wasn’t even near death when she elevated him.  At first, none of us could understand what Mother saw in him.  I didn’t realize until much later Mother was playing matchmaker.

Zoi:  Matchmaker?

Kunzite:  [nods] She hoped Jadeite and I might become lovers.

Zoi: [nearly chokes on his tea] You and Jeddy?  Lovers?

Kunzite:  That was the plan anyway.  The others kept bedslaves, both human and youma.  I considered it beneath my dignity to demand sex from a servant. However I had a reputation for being a bit…illtempered. Mother hoped that if she found me a husband, it might loosen me up a bit.  

Zoi:  But you didn’t…I mean… with Jeddy…

Kunzite: [Chuckles] Of course not. Mothers are notoriously horrible when it comes to playing matchmaker or their sons. She just assumed I’d like him, since he’s a blue eyed blond, and that’s what she likes.  But I had less than no interest in someone like him. 

[Kunzite tries to feed Zoi another cake.  Zoi turns his head. He thinks Kunzite’s trying to torture him, but Kunzite gives him a look of pleading, so he eats it anyway, just to make Kunzite happy]

Kunzite:  And he was far more taken with Beryl, of all people.   

[The cake tastes like cherry turnover.]

Zoi:  [grins]  Did you buy that cake like that?  Or was that something you just conjured up?

Kunzite:  [lowers his eyes innocently]  Oh, let’s just say it’s a rather recent creation…

 


	40. Promises

[Scene:  The Japanese countryside.  Zoi and Kunzite finished their tea and cakes, and then Kunzite helps Zoi up.  They continue to walk toward a festival market.  By now Zoi is certain they are hours late for school. But he’s secretly glad that Kunzite hasn’t noticed it yet.]

Zoi:  When you became a Shitennou did you undergo a personality change?

Kunzite:  It’s hard to say.  I certainly didn’t notice any difference in myself.  And I hardly knew the others before the change, if I knew them at all.  Some say you automatically turn evil.  There is a prevailing theory that when you become a Shitennou, all your strongest vices are amplified.

Zoi:  What do you believe?

Kunzite:  I think that being  a Shitennou gives you a lot of power, and you know what they say about absolute power?

Zoi:  It corrupts absolutely…

Kunzite:  And since Metalia handpicks her children from only those beings with the most murderous tendencies…

Zoi:  Do you think it’s possible… [blushes and gives Kunzite a timid look]

Kunzite: Go on.

Zoi: …Is there any chance I could be turned into a Shitennou?  

[Zoi gives Kunzite a shy smile]

Kunzite:  It’s funny you should ask, since I already plan to propose that to Mother.  But not until you are much, much older.

Zoi:  The only trouble is I don’t think I could become a murderer.

Kunzite:  I don’t either, but we are highly compatible, and that’s more than could be said for the last hundred or so candidates she’s elevated.  She wants a fourth king, and she hasn’t gotten one, so she may decide to take whatever she can get.

Zoi: But if all the Shitennou are supposed to be at each other’s throats, and we’re united in our loyalty to one another, won’t that give us an unfair advantage over the others?

Kunzite:  [smirks] You say that like it’s a problem.

[Zoisite stops at a stand that is selling jewelry since a ring has caught his eye.  It’s silver in color, with a band of black in the center decorated with pink and green gems set to look like cherry blossoms.]

Zoi:  Oh, I like this one.  [Picks it up and inspects it]

Vendor:  Those are western style promise rings.

Kunzite: What’s a promise ring?

Zoi:  I think it’s a promise that you’re going to get engaged later on.

Kunzite:  That doesn’t make sense.  Doesn’t a promise of an engagement mean an engagement?

Vendor:  It’s more of a pledge to remain monogamous, but without the proposal or expectation of marriage.  

Zoi:   That sounds about right.  [tries on the ring, which fits on his thumb and inspects it in the light.]

Vendor:  It’s 18k gold.

Kunzite:  So it is.

Zoi: How much is it?

[Zoi takes off the ring and puts it back since knows he can’t afford it, but he likes the ring too much not to ask]

Vendor:  ￥180.000

Zoi: Do you know how much is that in US dollars?

Kunzite: That’s not something you need to know.  [pulls a bunch of Yen notes out of a wallet.]

Zoi:  Kunzite, no.

Kunzite:  If that ring is a pledge of monogamy, I’m willing to spend ￥180.000 for it.

[Buys the ring.  Then takes Zoi’s hand, and gently glides it onto his thumb]

Zoi:  Thanks.  I love it.  [gives him a quick kiss] I feel bad since I’m pretty sure I can’t afford to get you one.

Kunzite:  I don’t need a ring to remain monogamous.

Zoi:  Neither do I!

Kunzite:  Yes, but that ring suits you so I want you to have it.

Vendor:  We do also sell the more traditionally Japanese Misanga promise rings, which are actually woven bracelets. They serve the same purpose, but they are only $10 US each.

Zoi:  Oh, I can afford one of those.  [looks at Kunzite]  Do you mind?

Kunzite:  Not at all.

[Zoi selects dark blue one]

Zoi:   [to Kunzite]  May I?

[Kunzite nods, so Zoi gets down on one knee and ties the braided cord around his ankle.

Zoi:  There.  I’ve knotted it extra well, so you’ll have to cut it off if you want to cheat on me.

Kunzite:  Trust me, I would have a harder time cheating on you than I would getting that thing on and off my ankle without damaging it.

Zoi:  [jabs his arm]  You shouldn’t tell me such things.  Let me keep my superstitions.

[As they walk away, Kunzite looks at his watch and stops short.]

Kunzite:  Oh, no.  I’ve completely lost track of time.  It’s nearly eleven o’clock.

Zoi:  [feigns distress]  Oh, no.  We’re late for school.  What should we do?

Kunzite:  Well, I can see two possible courses of action.  The first option is that I can teleport us back to the portal, run to the car, then I can rush us off to school so we can salvage what’s left of the schoolday.

Zoi:  Or?

Kunite:  Or we can continue enjoying the cherry blossoms for another few hours, then go back to your home, get your swimsuit, and then spend the rest of the time at a beach in La Jolla, California… it’s entirely up to you.

[Zoi smiles]


	41. Time to Pay the Piper

[Scene:  A beach in La Jolla shortly before sunset.  White sand cliffs topped with restaurants and boutiques rise behind them and waves of pure blue ocean stretches out to the horizon. They are in their swimsuits, walking on the beach with their arms around each other and Zoi is finishing off a sour apple shaved ice.]

Zoi:  Look at all those women staring at us.  They’re probably checking you out and thinking “what a waste.”

Kunzite:  How do you know they aren’t checking you out and thinking “what a waste”?

Zoi: [giggles] I really don’t think that’s what they are thinking.

Kunzite:  No.  From the way they are smiling, I think they’d like to watch us in action.  Especially if there is a chance we’d invite them to join us.

Zoi:  Ha.  Like that would happen.

[Zoi finishes his shaved ice and tosses the paper cone in the trash]

Kunzite:  So do you have more questions for me?

Zoi:  Only a million or two.  So if Metalia created you, who created Metalia?  And where did she come from?

Kunzite:  Ah, now we are getting philosophical.  Well, where did you come from?  Evolution?  Creation? Couldn’t she have evolved from her own species?  Predator, and prey?  Or do have trouble accepting that the same forces that created the killer whale and the baby seal could have shaped both you and I into being?

Zoi:  Let me get this straight, I’m the baby seal, right?

Kunzite:  [Squeezes Zoi and kisses the top of his head] You are definitely the baby seal.  

[He releases Zoi and gives him a little push]

Kunzite:  But I’m more like the great white shark than the killer whale.

Zoi:  [Bats his eyes at Kunzite] You’re still waiting for the running and screaming aren’t you?

[Kunzite smiles and nods]

Zoi:  I hate to burst your bubble but you’re not as scary as you think you are.  [Raises his nose in the air and walks away with a smile]  I’m not scared of you at all.

Kunzite:  You really shouldn’t have said that.  

[Kunzite growls and tackles Zoi, who falls laughing into the sand. Kunzite grabs Zoi’s wrists and pins him to the beach, straddling his body.]

Zoi:  You wouldn’t…

[Zoi tries to get loose, but Kunzite puts his arms around him and pulls him close to his body]

Kunzite:  You were saying?

Zoi:  [grinning] That you’re a very, very terrifying monster.

Kunzite:  [laughs] Much better.

[Starts making out with Zoi]

Kunzite:  Your tongue is cold and it tastes like an apple.

[Kisses him some more]

Zoi:  Can I get up now?

Kunzite: Or else?

Zoi:  Or else I’ll wrap my legs around you and cling to you like a limpet.

Kunzite:  Oh, now who’s the scary monster?

[They resume kissing and sink into the sand in a passionate embrace]

Zoi:  [looks around] Is your photographer getting all this?

Kunzite:  I’ll be very disappointed if she’s not.

[Goes back to kissing Zoi]

Kunzite:  I’m very glad we’re both covered in sand right now.

Zoi:  Why’s that?

Kunzite:  Because that’s the only thing keeping me from taking this any further.

Zoi:  Not the spectators?

Kunzite:  I’m a firm believer in giving the people what they want.

Zoi:  Somehow I doubt that.  But ok.  

[They resume kissing until Kunzite breaks it off and looks at the ocean.]

Kunzite:  We’d better get going before the tide rolls in and washes us away.

Zoi:  Yes, we’d better. My father should be home soon.

[A short Time later, at the Midori house.  They drive up in Kunzite’s car, cleaned up and fully dressed. Kunzite parks in his usual hidden spot.  Zoi notices that his father is not home yet.]

Zoi:  Would you like to come in?  I could make you some coffee.

Kunzite:  Yes, if it’s alright.

[Zoi nods.  They get out and walk to the house and Kunzite opens the front door.]

Zoi:  The door was unlocked all day?

Kunzite:  No, but I don’t need a key.

Zoi:  Oh, right.  Magic.

[They enter and the lights come on without Kunzite touching a switch]

Zoi:  [Gives Kunzite a sly look] I’d show you around, but you probably know your way around here pretty well already.

Kunzite:  [smirks] What else is there to do at night in this town?

[They enter the kitchen and Kunzite sits in a chair.  For a moment, Zoi is awestruck that Kunzite is actually in his house, sitting at his kitchen table, waiting for Zoi to fix him a pot of coffee.  Zoi imagines what it would be like to be married and sharing a house with Kunzite, cooking him breakfast every morning before they go to work. It’s a long time before Zoi can look away from him. He’s certain the best looking thing in the room.]

Zoi:  [finishes making the coffee and pours himself a glass of orange juice before sitting down with Kunzite] How often have you been here?

Kunzite:  I come here almost every night.

Zoi: [stunned] Why? [Thinks about it then hands Kunzite his coffee]  Oh, right.  My dirty dreams.  I forgot that you’re a peeper.

Kunzite: [smiles]   It’s not that at all. I like to look in on you to make sure you’re okay.

Zoi:  Why wouldn’t I be okay?

Kunzite:  [Sips his coffee] You are such a delicate little thing. I worry about you constantly… Should your father know I’m here?

Zoi:  I’m not sure–

[Kunzite vanishes, coffee cup and all]

Zoi:  Kunzite!

[There is the sound of a car crunching the gravel and headlight illuminate the front window. Zoi is in a very bad mood now that Kunzite has left without so much as saying goodbye.]

Chief Midori enters the front door.  He is holding a bouquet of red roses in a glass vase, but he looks like he is thoroughly upset about something.]

Zoi:  Hi dad.  I made you some coffee.

[Tried to rise to clean up.]

Chief Midori:  Sit down.  We need to have a long talk. 

[Chief Midori places the roses directly in front of Zoi]

[Zoi gives his father a confused look]

Chief Midori:  These are for you.

Zoi:  Oh?  

[looks for a card and sees one.  He opens it and it reads:

> Love is like the wild rose-briar;
> 
> Friendship like the holly-tree.
> 
> The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
> 
> But which will bloom most constantly?
> 
> \- Emily Bronte

Chief Midori:  They’re from Mamoru Chiba.  

[Zoi looks down.]

Chief Midori: [Sits down across from Zoi] He told me he had to bring them to the station because you weren’t in school AGAIN today.

[Zoi turns bright red]

Chief Midori: [stern] …And you wouldn’t answer the doorbell.  

[Zoi stares at the table]

Chief Midori: So…how IS your ankle doing?

[Zoi drinks his orange juice in glum silence.]

Chief Midori:  [narrows his eyes] You didn’t really have a cold last night, did you?

Zoi:  [sets down his glass and scoots his chair back] I’d better clean the kitchen.

Chief Midori:  [raises his voice]  Zoisite O. Midori.  Stop being evasive and look me in the eye.  

[Zoi looks at his father]

Chief Midori: Zoisite… Is there something you’re not telling me…?

[Zoi shakes his head and sips his orange juice]

Chief Midori:  [angry glare]  …About you and Kunzite O’Sama?

[Zoi swallows his orange juice and sets down the glass so his father can’t see how badly his hand is shaking.]

 


	42. Tuxedo Tattletale

[Scene:  Zoi buries his face in his hands.]

Chief Midori:  Zoisite, I know you’re embarrassed but we need to talk about this Kunzite situation.

Zoi: No.

Chief Midori:  Why not?  

Zoi: [sobs] I don’t want to!

Chief Midori:  Are you crying?

Zoi: [crying] No.

Chief Midori: Zoisite, why are you crying?

Zoi: [weeping hysterically] Because you’re mad at me!  Because I’m the worst son in the world!  I’m sorry I lied to you!  I’m sorry I ditched school!  You’re the best dad in the world and want you to be proud of me, but I’m no good!

Chief Midori:  Hey, hey.  [comes over and gives Zoi a hug and start rocking him in his arms]  Stop crying.  You’re not a bad boy.  You’re a good son.  The best ever.  I’m not mad at you.

Zoi:  [shrill] Yes, you are!  You’re calling me by my full name!  You only do that when you’re mad at me!

Chief Midori:  I’m not mad at you.  I’m mad at Kunzite.

Zoi:  [sniffles] You’re just saying that to get me to stop crying so you can yell at me some more!

Chief Midori:  I wasn’t yelling at you.

Zoi:  Yes you were!

Chief Midori:  No, honey.  Listen…  [looks him in the eye]  You’re probably feeling scared and alone right now, but what I’m trying to tell you is that everything you are going through is perfectly normal for a boy your age.

[Zoi stops crying and looks at his father.  It’s a bit disturbing to Zoi to hear his father being so liberalminded and permissive, given how strict and overprotective he normally is.]

Chief Midori:  I was once a freshman in high school myself once, you know.  Things weren’t any different back in my day, though these sorts of things didn’t get talked about as much back then.

Zoi:  [wipes his nose]  So you’re really not mad at me?

Chief Midori: Not at all. I’m just feeling a little hurt right now that you didn’t feel comfortable enough to come talk to me before you decided to start missing school over this.

[Zoi dabs his eyes and smiles faintly at his father]

Chief Midori:  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  If anyone should be ashamed of himself it’s Kunzite.

Zoi:  No, don’t blame him. It’s not his fault.  It’s mine.

Chief Midori:  No, honey.  He wants you to think that. But he’s the one with the problem. Not you. I know you’re both in high school, but I’m pretty sure he’s over eighteen.  He’s an adult and you’re a minor.  He’s a lot older than you.  At his age he should know better.  I could have him sent to prison for this.

Zoi:  But–

Chief Midori: Besides, the guy is practically a giant.  How could you possibly defend yourself against someone like that?  There’s no way a guy that big should be bullying boys your age.

Zoi:  Wait… what?

Chief Midori: I plan to sit down with Dr. Metalia and have a long talk with her about her son, but I figured I’d better discuss this with you first, so I don’t miscommunicate, or put you on the spot and make things worse for you.

Zoi:  [thoroughly confused]  Um, dad?  What has Mamoru been telling you, exactly?

Chief Midori:  He said that a little birdie told him at the spring dance that Kunzite O’Sama has been slapping you around at school.  

[Zoi’s jaw drops]

Chief Midori: He said he strongly suspects Kunzite was the reason you were sent home during lunch yesterday afternoon with a hairline fracture in your ankle.

Zoi: Oh, my god! [jumps to his feet with volcanic rage] That stupid, no good jerk, Mamoru! I can’t believe he’d pull an idiotic stunt like this! Next time I see him, I am going to kill him!

Chief Midori:  Hey, don’t take this out on Mamoru Chiba. He’s cares about you very much and he’s only trying to look out for you.

Zoi: No!  Mamoru Chiba is the biggest jerk alive!  He coldfishes drunk girls in the back of his aunt’s car!  He doesn’t have any game of his own, so he has to ruin everyone else’s!

Chief Midori:  So you’re saying Kunzite O’Sama doesn’t hit you?

Zoi:  [puts his hands on his hips] No!  Kunzite O’Sama would never hit me!  He’s the nicest, sweetest guy ever! Why does everyone assume he goes around beating and raping me!

Chief Midori:  [alarmed] Mamoru didn’t say anything about him raping you.

Zoi:  Yes he did!  Just not to you!

Chief Midori:  So let get this straight:  Kunzite O’Sama hasn’t been hitting you?

Zoi: That’s correct!

Chief Midori:  And you aren’t living in mortal terror of him?  

Zoi: That’s correct!

Chief Midori:  So much so that you think you have to ditch school to avoid getting beaten up by him?

Zoi:  That’s correct!

Chief Midori:  Then why exactly have you been ditching school?

Zoi: …

Chief Midori: Zoisite?

Zoi:  I think I better go upstairs and get caught up on my homework.

Chief Midori:  [raises his voice]  Not so fast!  Sit down.

[Zoi sits with a defiant look on his face]

Chief Midori:  You know something, Zoisite?  You were a lot better off when I thought Kunzite O’Sama was bullying you.

Zoi:  [grumbles] I don’t care.  Kunzite’s a good guy. I’m not going to let him take the blame for MY bad behavior.

Chief Midori: Zoisite?  What’s going on with you?   Why are you mouthing off to me like this?  I’ve never seen you behave like this.  This isn’t like you at all.

Zoi: I don’t want to talk about it.  I’m really tired.  I want to go to bed.

Chief Midori:  You don’t look tired.  As a matter of fact you look kind of keyed up.

Zoi:  Do I? I just want to go to sleep.

Chief Midori:  What? No plans tonight?

Zoi:  [sullen] No.

Chief Midori:  Don’t even think of crawling through a window.

Zoi:  [sneers]  You don’t trust me at all, do you?

Chief Midori: Who are you and what have you done with my Zoisite.  [looks Zoi over and narrows his eyes] What’s that on your thumb?

Zoi:  Huh?  [puts his hands behind his back] I don’t know what you mean.

[Chief Midori yanks Zoi’s arm forward and pulls the ring off his thumb.  Zoi shrieks in outrage as he holds it up the light to inspect the inside]

Chief Midori:  It’s heavy…18K gold.  From Japan no less. Not cheap.  [Tosses the ring back to Zoi]  Who gave you this?

Zoi:  None of your business!

Chief Midori:  Please tell me this isn’t from some forty year old guy you met online.

Zoi:  [rolls his eyes] I’m pretty sure he’s closer to a hundred, Dad.

Chief Midori:  Zoisite O. Midori, this is nothing to joke about!

Zoi:  Fine.  If you really must know. I got it from some kid at school.

Chief Midori:  A kid named Kunzite O’Sama, by any chance?

Zoi:  *blinks*

Chief Midori:  Well?

Zoi:  …Maybe.

Chief Midori:  [heads for the door] That’s it. Now I’m definitely having a talk with his mother.

Zoi:  DAD!!!  NO!!!  YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!!

[Zoi runs to block the door]

Chief Midori:  Why not?

[Zoi can’t very well explain to his dad that Metalia is a soul-sucking flesh-eating chaos goddess who would probably eat his father instead of hearing him out, so he struggles for a plausible explanation.]

Zoi:  Because…he hasn’t come out to his family yet.

Chief Midori: Oh, that’s just great. You’re getting expensive gifts from some guy who’s still in the closet.  Tell me. Does he have a girlfriend?  

Zoi:  Dad–

Chief Midori: Is he playing kissy-face with the head cheerleader in front of his friends as a smokescreen for when he’s luring underage boys like you off campus so he can get into their pants?  Is this really the sort of future you want for yourself?  

Zoi:  Dad!  It’s not like that!

Chief Midori:  Then tell me. What is it like?

Zoi:  Dad. I’m still a virgin.

[Chief Midori gives Zoi a long dubious look]

Chief Midori: I wish I could believe that.

[Zoi’s jaw drops in outrage]

Chief Midori: What? You’ve been lying to me all week. Why should I believe anything you have to say right now?

Zoi:  [beyond furious] I’m too tired to have this conversation right now. I’m going to bed early and then we can talk about this in the morning.

Chief Midori:  You know, I’d feel a lot better if you were dating Mamoru Chiba.  He’s the same age as you and it’s obvious he cares about you a great deal.  Plus, he makes no secret of the fact he’s bisexual. He used to date a male foreign exchange student from Holland, and they’re still on good terms.  He’s a star athlete, he volunteers at the retirement home and the animal shelter, and he’s studying to be a surgeon.  I’m not saying I’ll die happy if you marry him, but you could do a lot worse.

Zoi:  I’d rather die than marry Mamoru Chiba.  [heads for the stairs seething] I’ll see you in the morning, Dad.

Chief Midori:  I’ll see you long before that if you try to sneak out of here.

Zoi:  Don’t worry. I’m taking a long hot shower and then I’m going to straight to bed.

[Zoi goes into his room and slams the door shut behind him]

[Kunzite is lying sprawled out on his bed with his hands behind his head.]

Kunzite:  [smiles fondly at Zoi] I guess we’d better cool it on the dating for a while.

Zoi:  Oh!  [doubles over and clutches his chest in shock]

Kunzite: [sits up in alarm] I’m sorry.

Zoi:  Just give me a minute to restart my heart.

 


	43. Pillow Talk

[Scene:  Zoi’s bedroom.  Kunzite beckons Zoi over and then draws him close]

Kunzite:  Why don’t you sit with me?  [pulls Zoi onto his lap and strokes his hair]  How is your heart?

Zoi:  [whispers]  You tell me, I’m sure you can hear it pounding from there.

Kunzite:  Don’t worry.  The walls become soundproof whenever I’m in here. [pets Zoi’s hair while he trembles]  My poor darling….Your father didn’t mean any of those things he said to you.  He’s just in shock right now.  

Zoi:  He’s right, you know. I can’t be trusted.  There’s no excuse for the way I’ve been acting.

Kunzite:  [Cradles Zoi in his arms like a child] You mustn’t blame yourself, this is all my fault.  I’m a selfish creature. I want you all to myself.

[Kunzite kisses Zoi on the forehead, and works his way down to his lips.  Zoi doesn’t want it to end, but he doesn’t want his father bursting into his room at an inopportune time either, just because he didn’t hear the shower running.]

Zoi:  Give me a minute.  I told my dad I was on the way to take a shower.

Kunzite: Certainly.  [releases Zoi from his lap]

Zoi:  [points at Kunzite] Stay.

Kunzite:  [salutes] Yes, sir.

[Zoi grabs a thermal undershirt and some flannel sleep pants and goes into the bathroom to shower.  He can hear a football game on the TV downstairs, but he slams the bathroom door closed in case his father is listening anyway.]

[He takes a long hot shower, smelling all the shampoos and guessing which Kunzite might like the most. He’s eager to get back to Kunzite, but he’s also nervous about not knowing what comes next.  He’s hoping the water will calm his nerves, but all he can think about is that Kunzite is about ten feet away while he’s naked.]

[Eventually he starts to run out of hot water.  He shuts off the shower, towels himself off and then dresses in his sleepwear.  To his dismay, there are three moth holes in the back of the shirt he hadn’t noticed before.  He wishes he still had the fancy black mulberry silk pajamas his stepfather brought him back from Milan, and that his mother accidently ruined by pouring bleach on them. *]

[*it wasn’t an accident]

[He towels off his hair as best he can and then runs the shower comb through it as he walks down the stair.]

Zoi:  Dad?

Chief Midori:  [looks up from the game he’s watching and eyes Zoi’s wet hair with a surprised look] Yes, son?

Zoi:  I’m sorry I got upset. I know skipping school is wrong, and it’s making me defensive.  From now on, I promise I won’t ditch school anymore.

Chief Midori:  We’ll talk about it in the morning.  [turns his full attention back to the game.]

[Zoi watches his father for a minute with a sorrowful expression on his face.]

Zoi:  Night, Dad.

Chief Midori:  Night, son.

[Zoi goes back in his room.  Kunzite hadn’t moved at all.]

Kunzite:  [looks Zoi’s outfit over] Very nice.

[Zoi grimaces]

Kunzite: I mean it. That looks good on you.

Zoi:  Thanks.  

[Zoi sits crosslegged next to Kunzite on the bed.  Kunzite runs his finger through Zoi’s wet hair and wherever he touches it, it becomes dry and shiny.]

Zoi:  Sorry to keep you waiting.  I needed to convince my Dad I’m not sneaking out.  Apparently I looked a little overexcited.

[Kunzite takes Zoi’s face in his hands]

Kunzite:  You do look a little warm actually. [Kisses him tenderly]

Zoi:  [places his hands on Kunzite’s shoulders]  It seems…much easier for you now.  To be close to me.

Kunzite:  Does it seem that way to you?  [brushes Zoi’s now dry hair away so he can kiss the hollow under his ear.]

Zoi:  Much, much easier.

Kunzite:  Hmmm…

Zoi:  So I was wondering…  [Kunzite looks at him after kissing his jawline]  …why is that you think?

Kunzite: [kisses Zoi’s neck]  Mind over matter.

[Kunzite finds the three moth holes in the back of Zoi’s shirt and brushes his fingers against his skin. Zoi gasps and pulls away from him suddenly and Kunzite freezes]

Kunzite: Did I do something wrong?

Zoi: No, just the opposite. You’re driving me wild.

Kunzite:  Really?

Zoi:  Would you like some applause?

Kunzite: [grins] I’m just pleasantly surprised.  I never imagined anything like this.  I never believed I’d enjoy kissing anyone this much.  And then to find, even though it is contrary to everything I am, that you’re actually willing to be with alone me…to let me kiss you like this… and actually enjoy it the way I do…

Zoi:  You’re very good at it. You’re good at everything.

Kunzite: True.

[Zoi laughs]

Zoi:  But how can it be easier now?

Kunzite:  It’s not easy.   You see, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough… [takes Zoi’s hand and presses it to his face]  I thought I might be… overcome.  [Breathes in the scent of Zoi’s wrist]  Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility that I would… that I could ever…get too carried away.

Zoi:  [lowers his lashes at him] So there is no possibility you will get too carried away?

Kunzite:  Mind over matter.

Zoi:  Easy for you to say.

[Kunzite laughs an evil laugh, then becomes abruptly serious]

Kunzite:  I’m trying.  If it gets to be too much, I can always leave… then it will be harder tomorrow. I am trying to build up a tolerance for your beauty.

Zoi: Then don’t ever go away from me again.

Kunzite:  That suits me.  Bring on the shackles. I am your prisoner.

[Despite his words he grips Zoi’s wrists in his hands and laughs a maniacal little laugh.  Zoi notices he’s been laughing like a madman a lot this evening.]

Zoi:  You seem much less reserved than normal… I’ve never seen you like this before.

Kunzite:  Isn’t this what it’s supposed to be like?  The glory of first love, and all that?  It’s incredible, isn’t it.  The different between how it is depicted in popular media, and how it really is?

Zoi:  Very different.  More intense than I could have imagined.

Kunzite:  For example.  The emotion of romantic jealousy.  It always seemed pointless to me, when you could just kill off all your rivals. Still, I thought I understood that one pretty clearly.  But it shocked me…

Zoi:  [Startled to hear Kunzite’s admission] You’ve been jealous of someone?

Kunzite:  Do you remember the day Chiba asked you to the dance? I was surprised at the flare of intense fury I felt.  I didn’t recognize what it was at first.  Never before had I desired anyone’s death with such keen anticipation.  

Zoi:  You wanted to kill Mamoru?  Just because he invited me to a dance?

Kunzite:  Not because of the dance.  It was because I thought he had already claimed you.  You see, the moment after you told me you were gay, it suddenly dawned on me that the two of you were a couple.

Zoi:  Me and Mamoru? A couple? That’s so funny.

Kunzite:  He gave you a rose, remember?  You kept it in your locker. He sat with you at lunch, and from the territorial way he kept glaring at me whenever I looked at you, I thought the two of you had already picked out the names for your Romanian orphan babies.

Zoi:  [giggles] Kunzite. We are just friends.  

Kunzite:  I tried not to care. I knew I had no right to care, but all I could think of was him climbing on top of you and sweating like an animal. I knew he wanted to. After all, who wouldn’t? Then you refused to go out with him. Why?  Was it simply for your friend Usagi’s sake?  Or did you have someone else you liked? I had to know. And then the line started forming.

[Zoi scowls]

Kunzite:  I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expression.  I couldn’t deny the relief I felt seeing the annoyance on your face. But I assumed, since all your suitors were reasonably attractive people, and you showed no interest in dating any of them, it just meant that you had someone special back in Phoenix. That’s why I came in here that first night.  To search your room while you were sleeping, to find out who this little prick was so I could terrorize him to within an inch of his life.

[Zoi bursts into giggles]

Kunzite: I searched half the night, between watching you writhe in your sleep, your innocent angel’s face dispelling any murderous thoughts that came to me. 

[Kunzite looks away demurely]

Kunzite: And then, as you were sleeping, you said my name.


	44. The Slippery Slope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kunzite isn’t behaving any differently than Edward in this chapter. However Zoi isn’t Bella…

[Scene:  Zoi’s bedroom]

Zoi: I called out your name in my sleep?

[Zoi blushes since given his typical dream about Kunzite, he doubts he uttered it in a conversational tone.]

Kunzite:  [smiles at the memory] You spoke so clearly I thought I had woken you.  But it soon became obvious you were having a very interesting dream.  The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering.  In that moment my entire existence changed.

[Kunzite looks down]

Kunzite:  I told myself it might have been a random occurrence, an odd dream whose meaning was so deeply buried in your psyche it meant nothing. So I came back again.  And again after that.  Every night was the same, you cried out my name over and over, and nobody else’s. I couldn’t believe my great fortune. I knew I couldn’t ignore you any longer.

[Kunzite goes silent]

Kunzite:  But jealousy…it’s a strange thing.  So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational!  Just now, when your father was talking about you marrying that vile Mamoru Chiba…

Zoi:  That made you jealous? Really?  After I have to hear that a hot hunk like Jeddy was quite literally made for you?

Kunzite: [scowls] You think Jadeite is a hot hunk?

Zoi:  He’s not nearly as hot as you are, but, yes, I do have eyes, you know.  How am I supposed to compete with all that beefcake?

Kunzite:  [Grins and pulls Zoi by the wrists so he’s closer to him, with his face pressed to his chest] Between you and Jadeite, there is no comparison.

Zoi:  I know there is no comparison.  That’s the problem.

Kunzite: Even if he were to somehow acquire your talent, charm, and intellect, he hasn’t even got one tenth—no, one hundredth–of your fire or your beauty.

[Looks deep into Zoi’s eyes.]

Kunzite:  For thousands of years I’ve walked this world…and several others… all the time thinking I was complete within myself, not realizing what I was seeking.  And not finding anything, because you hadn’t even been born yet.

Zoi:  That’s hardly seems fair.  I haven’t had to wait at all.  Why should I get off so easily?

Kunzite:  [amused]  You’re right. I should make this harder for you, definitely.  

[Kunzite holds Zoi’s wrists over his head and gathers them into one hand so that he can stroke Zoi’s hair with his other hand, from the top of his head to his waist.]  

Kunzite:  You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that’s surely not much.  You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity…what’s that worth?

Zoi:  Not much.  I don’t feel deprived of anything.

Kunzite:  Not yet.

[Zoi tries to pull away, but Kunzite has his wrists in an iron grip.  Then Kunzite tenses up and looks at the door.]

[The room goes dark]

Kunzite:  Get in bed.

[Zoi tucks himself in and curls into a ball on his side. Kunzite vanishes in a magenta flash.]

[The door opens and Chief Midori peeks his head in and turns on the light.  Zoi has his eyes nearly closed and is taking slow deep breaths to make it look like he’s asleep.  Chief Midori turns the light off. Then the door closes again.]

[A few minutes later the light comes back on automatically.  Kunzite’s arms are around Zoi under the covers, his lips are at his ear.]

Kunzite:  I thought he’d never leave.

[Zoi’s heart is crashing in his chest, since he’s in bed with Kunzite.  They are spooning, no less! He can feel Kunzite’s warm breath on his neck, his nose sliding against Zoi’s jaw.]

Kunzite:  You have a very floral smell.  Like lavender.  Or freesia.

Zoi:  [his breath is catching and his eyes are as big as saucers] Those are two complete different smells.

Kunzite:  [chuckles evilly] My, you are keyed up.  Should I sing you a lullaby?

Zoi:  Right.  Like I can sleep with you here!

Kunzite:  You do it all the time.

Zoi:  But I didn’t know you were here.

Kunzite:  [trails his finger down Zoi’s arm] So if you don’t want to sleep…

Zoi:  [swallows hard]  If I don’t want to sleep…?

Kunzite:  What do you want to do instead?

[For a moment the question hangs the in the air between them. ]

[Then Zoi smiles a wicked little smile.]

Zoi:  Do you even need to ask?  

[Zoi turns to face Kunzite and then throws his arms around Kunzite’s neck and forces his tongue into Kunzite’s mouth.]


	45. No means no, Zoi

[Now Kunzite’s eyes are as big as saucers as Zoisite starts grinding up against him.]

Kunzite:  [pushes Zoi away] What do you think you’re doing?

Zoi:  You tell me.  You are of the one with all the experience in these matters.

[Kunzite pushes Zoi until he’s at arm’s length.]

[Zoi squirms out of Kunzite’s grasp like a mongoose and goes back to kissing him again.]

Kunzite:  Get off me, you little devil.

Zoi: You rub up against me from behind and then ask me what I want to do.  What were you expecting me to say?  “I’d like to ask you a few more questions?”

[Kunzite pushes Zoi away and turns him around so he’s facing the other direction, but Zoi just juts out his hips toward him.]

[Kunzite pushes him back again]

Kunzite:   Get on your own side of the bed and stay there! You’re too young to be fooling around like this!

Zoi:  [grumbling as he scoots over] Oh, come on! I want you inside me.

Kunzite:  You have no idea what you’re talking about.

Zoi: And at this rate, I never will.

Kunzite:  Absolutely not!

Zoi: Do I have to beg for it?  Because I will, you know.

[They look at each other for a long time.  Kunzite is staring intensely at Zoi, Zoi is smiling faintly at Kunzite.]

Kunzite:  Oh fuck it!  [He pulls Zoi close and kisses him deeply, rolling on top of him.  As they break off the kiss, Zoi pulls off Kunzite’s shirt while Kunzite unfastens his belt.  He’s already gotten to his fly when he suddenly realizes what he’s doing and vanishes in a flash of magenta.]

Zoi:  Kunzite?

[Kunzite reappears at the far end of the room.  His belt and shirt are back on.]

Kunzite:  That’s it! I’ve had it! If you don’t stop trying to seduce me, I’m leaving!

Zoi: [giggles and trails his finger on the pillow] What? You don’t want to do it?

Kunzite: Of course I want to do it!  That’s not the point!  If we start fooling around like this, I’m going to end up doing things that hurt you! A lot!  It’s going to burn like fire. I’ll be as gentle as possible, but it won’t be enough.  This isn’t going to be a carried-away-in-the-heat-of-passion, let’s-take-Zoisite-in-the-butt, sort of thing. That not how this works! I don’t know what you’ve read about this sort of thing, but it was probably written by fangirls who have no idea what they are talking about!   You’re not going to like it the first time we do it.  You’re probably not going like it the tenth time we do it.  

Zoi:  But there are…preparations… we can do, right?

Kunzite:  Of course.  There is an entire lost artform to that. But the preparations aren’t going to make it hurt any less.  If anything, they’ll prolong the torture.  

Zoi:  You’re kidding, right?

Kunzite:  Not at all.

Zoi:  Then what’s the point of the preparations?

Kunzite:  The preparations are to keep you from being torn to shreds.

Zoi:  …

Kunzite:  It doesn’t sound quite so magical now, does it?

[Zoi ponders this for a while]

Zoi:  I still want to do it.

[Kunzite sits on the edge of the bed and sighs deeply]  

Zoi: [gives him a look of longing] Kunzite.  I’m ready.

Kunzite: No, you’re not. You couldn’t possibly be ready.

[Zoi blushes with shame and disappointment.]

Kunzite:  I’m sorry, we can’t.  You are so soft, so fragile. I’d have to mind my actions every moment we are together. I could kill you quite easily, Zoisite. Simply by accident. One sudden move and I could snap your spine by mistake.  You don’t realize how incredibly breakable you are.  I can never, never afford to lose that kind of control when I’m with you.

[Zoi sulks, feeling thoroughly rejected and embarrassed.]

Zoi:  You’re a big tease, you know that.

Kunzite:  Do you want me to leave?

Zoi:  [alarmed] No!

Kunzite:  Do you promise to behave yourself?

Zoi:  *nods*

[Kunzite climbs back into bed with him, and strokes his hair until he stops frowning. The two of them lace their fingers together, then look into each other’s eyes as they hold hands.]

Kunzite:  I’m sorry, but I care too much to run the risk of ruining things between us. It would be different if you weren’t a virgin.  I wish you weren’t so inexperienced at this.

Zoi:  I thought you said you were jealous?

Kunzite:  And I am, but I could overlook a meaningless encounter or two if it took place long before you met me.  Love and lust don’t always share the same bed, you know.

Zoi:  They do for me.  I can’t stand the thought of kissing anyone but you.

Kunzite:  [smiles]  At the moment we have that one thing in common.

[For a few minutes, they just lay there, holding hands and gazing at each other adoringly.]

Zoi:  [releases his hand] Can I ask you something?

Kunzite:  [brushing the hair back from Zoi’s face] What is it?

[Zoi gives Kunzite a nervous look, then averts his eyes, since he’s already feeling rejected enough]

Zoi:  Forget it.  I changed my mind.

Kunzite: Zoisite.  You can ask me anything.

[Zoi lies on his side]

Zoi:  Maybe I’ll ask it in my sleep.

Kunzite:  [strokes Zoi’s hair] Please?

[Zoi shakes his head]

Kunzite:  If you don’t tell me, I’ll assume it’s something worse than what it really is.

Zoi:  Well…

Kunzite:  Yes?

Zoi:  Is…marriage… the same for the Shitennou as it is for humans?

[Kunzite grins]

[For a moment, the room is completely silent]

[Then Kunzite starts laughing like mad]

Kunzite:  Honestly, what a question.  What is a Shitennou marriage like?  No Shitennou has ever gotten married, ever.  Do you see any of the others running around with rings on their fingers?

[Zoi fidgets uncomfortably]

Kunzite:  In answer to your question, since we are beings of the Dark that reign over the earth, I suppose a Shitennou would have to have two weddings.  One in the Earth Realm, and one in the Dark Kingdom that would follow the more arcane traditions.  But I suppose the basics are still the same, the fancy clothes, the high priestesses, the wine drinking, the vow taking, the symbolic binding of two souls, the giving out of souvenirs, the escaping away to the consummation chamber…  I guess some concepts are universal.

Zoi:  Oh.

Kunzite:  [still chuckling] Was there a purpose behind your wanting to know this?

Zoi:  [sulky] Not really, I was just curious, is all. [Turns away from Kunzite and puts a pillow over his ear]

Kunzite:  [lifts the pillow and smiles at him] Before you go to sleep, I actually had a question I wanted to ask you, too.

Zoi:  [annoyed]  Oh really? What is it?

[Kunzite removes the pillow and turns Zoi over so that they are looking face to face.  Then he takes Zoi hand in his and gives it a kiss. Before stroking Zoi’s hair from his face and looking into his eyes.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite. Will you marry me?


	46. The Child Bridegroom

 [Scene:  Zoi’s bedroom.  Kunzite has just proposed, so Zoi is staring at him in shock]

Kunzite:  Will you marry me?

Zoi: Yes.

Kunzite:  As in right now.  On this very night.

Zoi:  Yes.

Kunzite:  Don’t you want to think it over?

Zoi:  I already have thought it over. Quite a lot actually.

[He kisses Kunzite and Kunzite kisses him back.  The kiss goes on for quite a while]

Zoi:  So what are we going to do?  Sneak away to Vegas?

Kunzite:  Somewhere a lot further away from here than Vegas.  

Zoi:  The Dark Kingdom?

Kunzite: [nods]  I’ll need to open a portal for you.

Zoi:  This marriage.  Will it be consummated?

Kunzite:  Of course.

Zoi:  When?

Kunzite: Tonight.

[Zoi is rendered completely speechless in light of Kunzite’s complete about-face on the subject.]

Kunzite:  [grins] Call me old fashioned, but I think that’s a large part of the definition of getting married.

Zoi:  Wait…what?

Kunzite:  We’re not doing this to enter into some financial arrangement, you know.

Zoi:  So let me get this straight.  You think I’m far too young to fool around with you, but I’m not too young to be married?

Kunzite:  [Grins sheepishly]  Well…if you fool around with me, and then decide you’d rather fool around with Chiba, it’s certainly your right to do so.  But if you marry me, and then decide to cheat on me with Chiba, I won’t feel too bad about killing the both of you.

Zoi: [laughs] Like I could ever be with anyone but you.

Kunzite:  [rises from the bed]  I’ll be right back.  I have to inform the servants they have a wedding to prepare.

Zoi:  You have servants?

Kunzite:  [kisses him]  We have servants.

[A short time later. Zoi and Kunzite cross through a portal into the Dark Kingdom.  They are in a black stone castle of entirely alien dimensions.  Zoi looks around in dismay since the place is dark and devoid of charm.]

Kunzite:  This is my home in the Dark Kingdom.

Zoi:  Do you come here often?

Kunzite:  As often as I can.  The darkness suits me.

[Zoi looks about glumly at the utter lack of anything pretty or organic.  He can tell that he and Kunzite have very different decorating esthetics. He’s determined not to be the sort of husband who comes in and leaves his mark all over everything to the point where Kunzite can no longer get comfortable in his own home. Still, he can’t help but think a rose vine or two might do wonders for the place.]

[They enter a chamber that appears to be the side of a large ballroom, filled entirely with monsters, mostly female, that look like someone bred humans with various things they sell at Target.  When the monsters see Zoi and Kunzite enter they fall to the floor in a show of submission.]

Kunzite:  These are the servants I was telling you about.

[Zoi is a bit frightened at the sight of them, since they are hideous for the most part, but it’s pretty clear they are more afraid of him than he is of them.] 

[A few of the monsters look up and start chattering excitedly in some weird chirping language Zoi can’t begin to understand.  They smile and start advancing toward Zoi.]

[Kunzite barks out something stern in their language, but they ignore him and brush Zoisite’s skin with their fingers and touch stands of his hair like they are girls at a mall who have found a particularly cute puppy.  Kunzite tries to fight a smile.]

Zoi: What’s going on?

Kunzite:  They are enchanted by you.  When I told them I decided to take a husband, they thought I meant someone large and cruel, like me or Nephrite.  They weren’t expecting anyone young or beautiful.

[He sees three that look like they are half woman-half flowering vine.]

Zoi: Those three are really beautiful.

[Kunzite speaks to them and they chirp excitedly]

Zoi:  You weren’t supposed to tell them I said that!

Kunzite:  They feel very honored.  They want to help you prepare.

[Kunzite gives him a questioning look, so he nods, and the three take hold of him and steer him toward another chamber.]

Zoi:  I don’t know what to do.

Kunzite:  This is all pretty simple.  Just go with whatever happens.  I should warn you that Dark Kingdom weddings can be a bit frightening. Especially since you don’t know what to expect.  But telling you what to expect will probably frighten you even more. Just remember I’m here to protect you, so your chances of being killed, maimed, or seriously injured are pretty much nonexistent.

Zoi:  Pretty much nonexistent?

[Zoi looks over his shoulder at Kunzite, but Kunzite just smiles at him and walks in another direction.]

[Zoi ends up at a room with a large pool that resembles an inverted ziggurat.  The monsters pull him over to the edge of it.]

Zoi: Oh, I already took a shower right before I came here.

[They can’t understand him, and even if they could it wouldn’t make any difference.  They led him to the center of the pool and pull off his clothing and hold out his arms and scrub down his skin.  A woman who resembles an ogre arrives with a long green kimono and an ornate golden box.]

[After the bath they dress Zoi in the kimono, wrapping the sash several times around his waist and cinching it as tightly as they can. Then they dump the gold box onto the floor.]  

[It contains a dozens of gold hair pins, each topped with a tiny ornament, no two exactly alike. Each of the monsters sifts through and takes the one she likes best and tucks it into her clothing.]

[As they work on his hair, Zoi tries to take one topped with a rose, but one of the monsters gives him a gentle slap on the hand and wags her finger at him.  The others chirp in an amused fashion.  The pick up the pins one by one and stick them in his hair.]

[By the time he rejoins Kunzite in the larger chamber, the pins are in his hair in a completely haphazard manner.  He’s glad the pins are about the same color as his hair and therefore pretty well camouflaged.  Otherwise, he’d worry that he looks ridiculous. Kunzite is standing next to an obsidian block topped with a clear crystal on a gold stand. Kunzite’s wearing a blue kimono, but his is lightly belted and worn in a disheveled fashion. Zoi can’t help but smile when he sees how hot he looks in his robe.  Kunzite stares when he sees Zoi and the others approaching. He looks happier than Zoi’s ever seen him.]

[Half of the room is now blocked off by a thorny looking hardwood trellis that looks suspiciously like a security gate.  The majority of the monsters are watching from behind that.  Zoi would like to ask about that, but from the chanting he assumes the wedding has already begun.]

[He’s led to stand opposite of Kunzite and just stands straight, the chanting becoming hypnotic.  He notices the crystal on the stand is glowing ever so faintly.]

[A monster dressed like a priestess comes out with a chalice and bows between them before handing the chalice to Kunzite.]  

[Kunzite drinks half the wine inside, then hands the chalice to Zoi, who drinks the rest.  The monster rises, takes the chalice, and a pin from Zoi’s hair, and leaves.]

[Another monster approaches with a dagger.  She bows and hands the dagger to Kunzite.  Kunzite takes hold of Zoi’s hand and swipes the blade down his palm. The blade is so sharp Zoi doesn’t feel a thing, but blood wells up almost immediately.  He takes Zoi’s other palm and repeats the process.  Then Kunzite gives the blade to Zoi and holds out his own palms.]

[Zoi touches the blade to Kunzite’s skin as lightly as he can, then presses a little deeper until he draws blood. Once both palms are cut, Kunzite takes the dagger and hands it back to the monster, who pulls a pin from Zoi’s hair and leaves.]

[Then Kunzite clasps hands with Zoi, lacing his finger with his, and then slowly kneels so that he is resting on his knees.  Zoi copies him, so that they are kneeling on either side of the obsidian block with the crystal between them which is starting to glow, increasingly brighter and brighter.]

[Soon Zoi falls into a deep trance where he is aware of nothing but the sound of the chanting and the light of the crystal glowing in front of him.  He finds himself chanting as well, though he does not know what the chant means, if anything.]

[Despite Kunzite’s warnings, Zoi isn’t finding the ceremony to be frightening in the least.  A little macabre maybe, but certainly not frightening,]

[Eventually the crystal glows so brightly it wakes him from his trance.  He looks at Kunzite, who seems to be stirring as well.]

[They rise to their feet. ]

[ The crystal shoots out a beam of rainbow light in all directions. All at once there is a hideous screaming.  The monsters behind the partitions start hissing and shrieking with their fangs bared. Their eyes, which looked upon Zoi so adoring just a few seconds ago are now filled with bloodlust.  They bite and claw to get through the partition.  To Zoi’s horror, it looks as if the partition is not going to hold for more than a few seconds.]

Zoi:  [terrified] Kunzite!  What’s happening?  

[Kunzite is watching them, grave, but unsurprised.] 

Kunzite:  [grabs Zoi’s wrist and backs away] This is the part of the ceremony where we run.


	47. Kunzite’s Evil, Kids, Don’t Get Married At Fifteen

[Kunzite and Zoi flee the chamber and dart into a long corridor.]

Zoi:  What’s wrong?  Why are they attacking us?

Kunzite:  Nothing’s wrong.  This is normal.  The ceremony is over, so now they want to collect their souvenirs.

Zoi:  You mean the pins in my hair?

Kunzite:  [looks back at him in admiration] Trouble is if they catch us they might collect your hair as well, and maybe even your entire head.

Zoi:  And this is normal?

Kunzite: If one or both of us are killed in the post wedding melee, it’s a sign it wasn’t meant to be.

Zoi:  A fairly definitive sign I’d say.

[There is a crashing noise in the distance.  Kunzite looks back in alarm and tugs Zoi along down a corridor toward a staircase.]

Kunzite:  You need to pull the pins out of your hair and throw them to the guests.

Zoi:  What?  I have to throw things?

Kunzite:  Is that a problem?  

Zoi:  Of course it’s a problem!  You’ve seen me try to play sports!

[Zoi looks back and sees the monsters are catching up.  Zoi’s fairly certain he’s going to die.]

Kunzite:  [looks back past Zoi at the silhouettes of the approaching stampede and gives him a sharp tug] Zoisite! We have to run!

Zoi:  I am running!

[Kunzite stops abruptly.  He turns to Zoi, throws him over his stony shoulder, and runs up the staircase.]

[Zoi laughs.  Not only because it’s fun to ride up the stairs on Kunzite’s shoulder like that, but also because being carried like that makes it easy to pull all the pins from his hair and toss them to the monsters.]

[At last they reach a door and enter a room. Kunzite sets Zoi down and bars the door behind them.  Zoi breathes a sigh of relief, until he turns and sees the large black bed.]

[Zoi goes completely white in the face]

Zoi:  [looks around nervously] There are no photographers in here, are there?

Kunzite:  Of course not.  This is our private bedchamber.

[Zoi is gripped by a sudden irrational terror, a hundred times more intense than when he was certain he was going to die.]

[Kunzite pulls Zoi close and kisses him.  Zoi does not kiss him back.]

[Kunzite gives Zoi a questioning look but Zoi doesn’t say anything, so Kunzite tries to kiss him again. Zoi moves his head away.]

Kunzite:  You’re scared, aren’t you?

Zoi:  [looks away]  I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I really wanted to do it before, but now I don’t.

[Kunzite fights a smile. He understands the situation better than Zoi does.  Zoi wanted to do it before because he’s passionate and spontaneous by nature. He’s cooled off, since all the romance had been replaced by ceremony and obligation.]

[Kunzite knows Zoi will come around again soon enough.  It would simply be a matter of keeping his own impulses in check until Zoi’s hormones have a chance to kick back in.]

Kunzite:  We won’t do it. Not tonight.

Zoi:  No?

Kunzite:  Tonight I just want to lie next to you.  Share a bed with you. If I can, I’d like to hold you until you fall asleep in my arms.  Would that be ok?

[Zoi nods and gives him a relieved smile.]

[Kunzite kisses him. Gently and chastely, at first, but with gradually increasing passion.  Only when Zoi starts initiating kisses of his own does he reach for Zoi’s sash to unwrap his kimono so he can caress the sides of his body.]

Zoi:  [red faced and breathless] I’ve changed my mind again.

Kunzite:  Oh, about what?

Zoi:  [smiles shyly]  I want to do it.

Kunzite: [grins] Very well, if you insist. [He dims the lights to preserve Zoi’s modesty as he peels away his kimono.]

*

[The next morning. Zoi’s bed.  Zoi is sleeping in Kunzite’s arms while Kunzite is facing the door, keeping an eye out for Zoi’s father.]

[Kunzite knows he’s gone too far.  He is sick with regret. His romance with Zoi was the one truly good thing in his entire existence and he had to go and ruin it. He has a terrible feeling his regret will be nothing compared to Zoi’s.]

[His only comforting thought is that when he carried a sleepy Zoi back to his own bedroom, Zoi begged him not to leave.  So Kunzite crawled into Zoi’s bed with him and held him through the night.]

[Eventually the muted light of a cloudy morning filters through the window.  Zoi moans and rolls on his side]

Zoi:  [sits up suddenly]  Oh! [Looks under the sheet as if to confirm he’s not wearing anything. Then gives a startled look at Kunzite and his bare torso.]

Kunzite:  Good morning.

Zoi:  Kunzite!  You stayed! 

[Zoi throws his arms around him, and for a moment, Kunzite is frozen.  Stunned by his enthusiasm.]

Kunzite:  [Rubs his back]  Of course I stayed.

Zoi: [resting his head against Kunzite shoulder]  I thought it was a dream.

Kunzite:  How are you feeling?

Zoi:  [winces]  It stings like a bitch.

Kunzite:  [pets his hair] Sorry about that.  I told you it would hurt.

Zoi:  [shrugs and smiles] To be perfectly honest, I didn’t mind the blinding pain too much.  It distracted me from the intense discomfort.

Kunzite:  You hated the discomfort more than the pain?

Zoi: I hated the discomfort a lot more than the pain.

Kunzite:  That’s a good sign actually.  The discomfort will stop happening pretty quickly.

Zoi:  What about the pain?  How long until it doesn’t hurt?

Kunzite:  What makes you think it will ever not hurt?

[Zoi gives Kunzite a dubious look.  kunzite gives him a stern nod.]

Kunzite:  So…are you having any regrets?

Zoi: [gives a contented sigh and puts his arms around Kunzite’s neck] Regret making love to you?  I can’t think of anything I could possibly regret less.

Kunzite: [smiles] Does that mean you’d be willing to do it again some time?

Zoi:  How about as soon as possible?

[Zoi kisses Kunzite and Kunzite kisses him back with even greater passion.]

Kunzite: What’s that down there?

Zoi:  What do you think it is?

Kunzite:  I think it’s a sign you like being married to me.

Zoi:  I think it’s a sign I love being married to you.

Kunzite:  Well let’s see if we can find a use for it.

[They go back to kissing and get so carried away they don’t notice the door opening.]

Chief Midori:  Son, are you awake?  It’s time we had that talk. WHOA!

[Zoi shrieks and hides his head under the covers]


	48. Caught In the Act

[Scene:  Kunzite stares at Chief Midori. Who is standing gape mouthed in the doorway of Zoi’s bedroom.]  

[Chief Midori stares at Kunzite lying, presumable naked, in Zoi’s bed with a presumably equally naked Zoi trying to hide under the covers, and then backs away and flees.

[Kunzite smiles]

Kunzite:  He handled that a lot better than I thought he would.

[Zoi peeks out from under the covers and Kunzite pulls Zoi close]

Kunzite : Now where were we?

Zoi:  [struggles out of his grasp] Kunzite!

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  My father walked in on us!  We can’t just pick up where we left off!

Kunzite:  Why not?

[Zoi gives him a stern look]

Kunzite:  Oh right.  You want me to close the door first.

[Kunzite raises his hand to close the door using telekinesis, but Chief Midori reappears holding a shotgun.

Zoi:  *shrieks and ducks back under the covers*

Kunzite: [moves to shield Zoi]  Hey! Be careful where you are pointing that thing!

Chief Midori:  [berserker rage] Get the hell away from my son, you pervert!

Zoi:  [peeking from behind Kunzite’s shoulder] Dad it’s ok. This wasn’t Kunzite’s idea!  It was mine. He didn’t want to do it at all!

Kunzite:  [under his breath] I wouldn’t go that far.

Chief Midori:  No! It’s not ok! You don’t get to decide that! You’re only fifteen!  The age of consent in Washington is sixteen!  That makes this guy a class three child rapist!

Kunzite:  Not according to my driver’s license, which states I’m only eighteen, and therefore sanctioned under the state’s “Romeo & Juliet” laws.

Chief Midori:  I see you’ve brushed up on the legalities of screwing my son!

Zoi:  Dad!  It’s ok! I really love him and he really loves me.

Kunzite: Besides.  It’s perfectly acceptable for us to do this.  We’re married.

Chief Midori: WHAT!!!!

Zoi: Uh, Kunzite, that’s not helping.

Chief Midori: Zoisite!  Is this true!  Have you actually married this clown!

Kunzite:  [to Zoi] Did he just call me a clown?

Zoi:  [to Chief Midori]  Well… I suppose it’s more like we’re half-married.

Chief Midori:  Then I guess I’ll only have to take him outside and beat him half to death!

[While this has been going on, Kunzite been getting increasingly upset, and now he can’t contain his rage any more]

Kunzite:  Enough of your insolence!  [Vanishes in a magenta flash, only to appear fully dressed, complete with his long black coat about a foot from Chief Midori.  He yanks the gun from his hand, expels the cartridges and tosses the gun on the floor.]  I am Kunzite! First among kings! It is a tremendous honor for you that I have taken your son as my chosen consort!

[Kunzite’s eyes go white as he grabs Chief Midori by the throat and forces his gaze upon him]

Kunzite:  You’re lucky that you contain half the ingredients that make up my beloved, because otherwise you’d be very dead by now.  I should drain you of your lifeforce for daring to point that weapon anywhere near him.  But instead I will merely enslave you like the insignificant peon that you are!  Now get in the kitchen and get me a beer and a sandwich! Then wait outside this door with it until I finish pleasuring your son!

Chief Midori: [bows and speaks robotically] Yes, master.

[Kunzite smiles and turns to get back to bed, only to see Zoi is glaring at Kunzite with his teeth bared.]

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  How dare you!

Kunzite:  [sighs] What’s wrong?

Zoi: You promised me you wouldn’t mess with my dad again!

Kunzite:  You actually want him to forbid you from ever seeing me again?

Zoi:  No!  But I don’t want him to be the mindless zombie who makes your sandwiches either!

Kunzite: [sighs again] Very well…So what do you suggest we do instead?

Zoi:  [thinks it over for a while] Can’t you just use your mind control to make him forget that he ever walked in on us?

Kunzite:  [nods]  What about yesterday.  I could make him forget about the fight you had and his conversation with Mamoru.

Zoi:  No.  I had that coming.  Besides, I don’t want him thinking he’s losing his mind if Mamoru decides to bring it up again.

Kunzite:  Fine.  I’ll do it. But only under one condition.

Zoi:  What’s that?

Kunzite:  You have to introduce me to your father.

Zoi:  He already knows you.

Kunzite: As your boyfriend, I mean.

[Zoi is silent for a while]

Zoi:  Is that what you are?

Kunzite: [grins] It’s a loose interpretation of the word “boy” I’ll admit.

Zoi:  I was under the impression we now had something more, actually. [blushes and looks down]

Kunzite:  Well, I don’t know if we need to give him all the gory details.  But he will want some explanation for why I’m around so much.  I don’t want Chief Midori getting a restraining order put on me.

Zoi:  [blushes happily] Will you be around here a lot?

Kunzite:  As much as you want me.

Zoi:  I’ll always want you.  Forever.

[Kunzite walks to the bed takes Zoi into his arms and kisses him tenderly.]

[Then backs away and his clothing morphs into dress slacks, a white button down shirt and leather shoes]

Kunzite:  Get dressed.  I’ve got to go downstairs to present myself to my new father-in-law.


	49. Reboot

 [Scene:  Chief Midori is in the kitchen making a sandwich.]

[Zoi and Kunzite come down the stairs.  As they approach Kunzite waves his hand and his eyes glow white.  Chief Midori stops what he is doing and looks at the unopen can of beer on the counter.]

Chief Midori:  Beer and sandwiches at 7:00AM?  I must be losing my mind.

Zoi:  [Takes Kunzite’s arm nervously] Dad.  There’s someone I’d like you to meet…You know Kunzite O’Sama, don’t you?  Well, …um… he’s my boyfriend now.  

Chief Midori:  [A bit taken aback to see Kunzite there in person after his conversation with his son the night before] Welcome to our home, Kunzite.

Kunzite:  [Nods respectfully] Thank you, Chief Midori.

Chief Midori:  I must say I’m a little surprised to see you here.

Kunzite:  I have grown very fond of your son, sir, and I would like your permission to date him.

Chief Midori: Pardon my asking, but aren’t you a little old to be dating a highschool freshman?

Kunzite:  [mumbles under his breath] You have no idea.

[Zoi kicks him in the ankle]

Chief Midori: What was that?

Kunzite:  I said I had no idea how young your son was until recently. He is my lab partner in twelfth grade biology. By the time I found out he was only fifteen I had already developed strong feelings for him.

Chief Midori:  Fair enough…. Have a seat there, Kunzite.

[Zoi grimaces as Kunzite takes a seat at the table. Zoi pours himself a bowl of cereal and sits at the far end and eats while watching them like a cat.  Kunzite starts to reach for the beer, but Zoi shakes his head.]

Chief Midori:  So I hear you’re still in the closet.

Kunzite:  Pardon?

Chief Midori: Zoisite tells me you haven’t come out to your family yet.

Kunzite:  [gives Zoi a confused look, then smiles a faint smile] I’m sorry I gave him that impression. You see, when I’d told Zoisite I’d never had a boyfriend before, he must have assumed I’ve dated girls.

Chief Midori:  So you’ve never dated anyone?

Kunzite:  Until I met your son I’ve never wanted to date anyone. Ask anyone who knows me.

Chief Midori:  But your family knows you’re gay?  I don’t want you dating my son if he has to keep it a secret from your mother.

Kunzite: I assure you my family is well aware of my sexual orientation, as well as my very deep and sincere affection for your son. In fact my mother insists I bring Zoisite over for Sunday dinner, so the family can get a chance to meet him properly.

[Zoi gulps his cereal.]

Chief Midori:  I saw you bought my son a very expensive gift.

Kunzite:  I assume you are referring to the promise ring I gave him. I wear a matching bracelet on my ankle as part of our pledge to remain pure outside of marriage.

[Zoi nearly chokes on his cereal and has to cover his mouth to keep from giggling.]

Chief Midori:  So you’re religious?

Kunzite:  I don’t know if I’m religious so much as spiritual, but I challenge you to find any man that is closer to his god than I am.

Chief Midori:  You don’t intend to sleep with my son?

Kunzite:  I believe sex is a sacrament that should be reserved for married people.

[Zoi bites his lip and blushes]

Chief Midori:  Well, I’m not sure I’d go that far…but no sex until he’s thirty.

Zoi:  Dad!

Kunzite:  So, do I have your blessing?

Chief Midori:  I must say, coming here and talking to me man to man shows you have real integrity.  Well, you do have a solid reputation, so I suppose I’d be willing to allow you to see him if you respect my rules.  One. No keeping him out past nine.  Ideally, I’d like him home before dark on school nights.

Kunzite:  Understood.

Chief Midori:  No drinking or drugs.  No smoking around my son, or encouraging him to take up smoking. No bringing him into clubs or wild parties.  No taking him to get tattoos or body piercings.  

Kunzite:  I wouldn’t dream of it.

Chief Midori:  And do bear in mind that carry a loaded firearm at all times, and I’m not afraid to use it, so I’d think twice about cheating on him, breaking his heart, or hurting him in any other way.

Kunzite:  I have absolutely no intention of letting anything harm your son.

Zoi:  It’s true dad, he’s even more overprotective of me than you are.

Chief Midori:  And no more ditching school.

Zoi:  Dad-

Kunzite:  I will see to it personally that he has spotless attendance.

Zoi:  [washes his bowl in the sink]  Speaking of which, we’d better get going, or we’re going to be late.

Kunzite:  Shall I tell my mother to set a place for Zoisite at dinner on Sunday? I have to warn you that my family will have a million questions for him, so they will make me violate his curfew by a few hours on this one occasion.

Chief Midori:  Well I don’t know.  It is a school night, after all.

Kunzite:  How about Saturday then?

Chief Midori:  I suppose that would work.

Kunzite:  Great. We’ll set a place for him. My entire family will be delighted.

[Chief Midori follows them out.]

Chief Midori:  Remember, no staying out late.

Kunzite: Don’t worry. I’ll have him home early.

Chief Midori:  You take care of my little boy, all right?

[Zoi groans]

Kunzite:  He’ll be safe with me, I promise.

[Kunzite goes to Zoi’s side of the car and opens the door for him.]

Chief Midori:   Wear your seatbelts.

[Zoi gasps as Kunzite fastens Zoi’s seatbelt for him.  It starts as outrage, and he has to keep up that act as Kunzite’s index finger covertly strokes its way down Zoi’s collarbone to his nipple.]

Chief Midori:  [heads back to the house] Drive safely.

[Zoi waits until his house is gone from view]

Zoi:  So your mother wants me for dinner, does she?

Kunzite:  Don’t worry.  I’ll protect you.

Zoi:  I thought they didn’t like me. They voted 3-1 to have me killed.

Kunzite:  I’m not actually bringing you to over there to have dinner.

Zoi:  Then why are we going there?

Kunzite:  We’re going there because my bedroom door has a lock on it.


	50. Back to School

[Scene:  Hen Tie High.  Zoi takes his seat in homeroom.]

Zoi:  Hi there, Umino.

Umino:  Welcome back. How’s your ankle.

Zoi:  [grinning from ear to ear]  Pretty good.

Umino:  You’re looking happy.  I take it Kunzite called you to reschedule your trip to Seattle?

[Zoi turns bright red but doesn’t stop smiling]

Umino:  Someone has a secret.

Zoi: [holds out his hand to Umino] Look what Kunzite gave me.

Rei:  [rises from her seat and grabs Zoi’s hand away from Umino] Holy crap!  Would you look at this beautiful thing!  Usagi!  Get up here! You have to see this!

[Usagi comes bounding up from the back of the room and Rei thrusts Zoi’s hand at her.]

Usagi:  Did Kunzite give that to you?

[Zoi nods while still blushing and smiling]

Rei:  Minako is going to die when she sees this.  I mean it.  She’s going to have kittens all over the floor.  An entire mulling litter of them.

Ms. Haruna: Usagi, get back in your seat.  I’m trying to take role.

Usagi:  But Ms. Haruna, Kunzite O’Sama gave Zoi a gold ring!

[Zoi considers that a bit of a non sequitur, but now the entire class is gathered around Zoi’s chair, including Ms. Haruna.]

Naru:  It’s from Japan, isn’t it?

Zoi:  How did you know?

Naru:  My mother owns a jewelry store.  They have a technique for folding the gold like dough and it gives it that special texture.

Ms. Haruna: I don’t get it.  You’ve been here less than a month, and you’ve got a guy buying you fine jewelry, while I’ve been here thirty-two years and I can’t even get a man to take me to dinner.

Mamoru:  [sour] Kunzite probably got this by mugging some little old Asian lady in a train station

Zoi: No he didn’t!  I was there when he bought it for me.

Usagi:  He took you shopping for jewelry?  Ooh-la-la.  It must be true love.

Mamoru: [scowls] I don’t know what everyone’s getting so excited about.  It’s just a meaningless trinket.

Usagi: [To Mamoru] When are you going to buy me a ring?

Mamoru:  [breaks into a sweat]  Errrr.

[eventually class lets out and the students follow Zoi into the hall.  When they see Kunzite waiting for Zoi outside, they crowd around and all start talking at once, so that not one voice can be made out and it all becomes in indistinct buzz.  Zoi’s afraid this will upset or anger Kunzite but instead Kunzite kisses Zoi on the cheek and clasps hand with him and walks him to his next class while the crowd hangs back and screams like they are at a concert.]

Zoi:  Sorry about that.  I showed off my ring to Umino and they all went crazy.  I’m not sure what has gotten them so excited.

Kunzite:  I don’t think anybody was expecting Hen Tie’s most reclusive bachelor to fall this hard for someone.  I know I wasn’t.

Zoi:  Are we having lunch together today?

Kunzite:  No, I thought now that we’re newlyweds. I might try sitting with someone else for a change.  Of course we’re having lunch together.

[Zoi giggles and goes to class]

[Over the next few hours, Zoi watches the clock, waiting for lunch. At last it rolls around and he rushes to the cafeteria where Kunzite is waiting with a wicker basket.]

Zoi: [sits] What are we having?

Kunzite: [pulls out some fancy covered dishes] Since it is a special occasion, I thought we might have filet mignon and lobster thermidor, with a pear-blueberry tarte for dessert, but if you don’t like any of that that I could always conjure something else.

Zoi:  [lifts the lid off the dish and sees he’s not joking] You’re going to spoil me, you know that?

Kunzite:  I like spoiling you.  You’re fun to spoil.

Zoi:  What’s on the agenda for today?

Kunzite:  We have to go to biology class, but after that we’ll have a few hours all to ourselves.  I was thinking of taking you somewhere truly extraordinary for our honeymoon.

Zoi:  Someplace truly extraordinary?  [Zoi can’t possibly see how he can top their previous dates, especially given the more limited time frame]  Where are we going?

Kunzite:  It’ll be a surprise.  I haven’t told you enough to prepare you for the surprise, so it will be some place that will absolutely blow your mind if you’re smart enough to figure out what you’re looking at.  And I’m fairly sure you’re smart enough.  In fact [pulls out a plain white box the size of half a shoebox and tied with a red ribbon from the basket]  I’ve got a gift for you if you figure it out.

Zoi:  And if I don’t figure it out?

Kunzite:   …Then you still get the gift, but the presentation won’t be as dramatic…It’s too bad we still have that damned biology class I promised your father I’d bring you to.  Otherwise we could go there now instead of spending our honeymoon in a school cafeteria.  [mutters under his breath] What a damned waste of time.

Zoi:  I’ve never considered sitting with you to be a waste of time.  Especially since we have our own lab table together.

Kunzite:  [smiles and lowers his voice] This is a good point.  In fact we may want to go to our table before class starts to make up for lost time.

Zoi:  But we don’t know what the labs we missed were.

Kunzite:  Oh, I can think of a few experiments of our own we can try.

Zoi:  [catches Kunzite’s drift and turns bright red] Oh, no.  I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing just yet.


End file.
